Hosting Wife's College Friend's Daughter

[Anonymous]

We live in Alexandria (Rosemont) and Braddock Road Metro is about a 10 minute walk away. We have a spare bedroom that has its own bathroom. We have used it over the years for both my parents and my wife's parents as a mini apartment. Both are still quite physically active and retired so they'd visit for two week stretches and take advanatge of the easy and cheap access into DC. It's honestly ideal for guests.

My wife's best friend from college lives in Denver and has a daughter who will be a rising senior in college this summer. She has 'won' a 'prestigeous' internship in DC. My wife's friend, DH and daughter have stayed with us in the past and know this set up would be ideal for her daughter this summer. So, she asked if we'd host her for 10 weeks. Not a single thing was mentioned about compensation.

I don't want her here. I don't want the hassle and drama (she is a bit of a partyer) and honestly, I don't really want just the inconveinance. My wife isn't excited about the idea but is way more open to it then I am.

My question is this:

If you were the mom of the intern, would you be offended if we declined? And if you were offended, why did you not approach this more as a transaction a la "Hey, Ava has that internship this summer and she'd love to stay with you (and enjoy your excellent cooking!) but we know that is a hassle, so, could we barter? You can use our apartment in Vail anytime you want. Deal?"

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to host the daughter then just say so. You can tell them that your parents will be visiting and the room will not be free for the entire stretch. Best friend or not, it’s presumptuous to ask and not offer to cover rent, just as a courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Just say you can’t host this summer because of some prior commitments.

To ask for rent or a “barter” is an unbearably cringe idea, though. However, of course they shouldn’t have been pushy and if you had hosted they should have given you some great gift or gift card on their own.)

[Anonymous]

My college roommate hosted my daughter for a summer in a similar situation but we offered to pay right away! Not at all fair for the friend to think this would be free. In our situation, my friend had rented out the room in previous summers so was open to the idea. I think it’s okay for you to decline if you don’t want this person to live in your house all summer.

[Anonymous]

Just say no. She can stay for a week but parents are using the room.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on how your wife feels about her friend. Are they really still best friends or just acquaintances?

I have a best friend from college who I’m super close with. She’s basically like a sister to me. In that situation, she would definitely be hurt. I would also feel hurt if she did something similar.

If your wife doesn’t have a strong bond with that friend, just say no. Nobody would take it personally.

[Anonymous]

The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say you can’t host this summer because of some prior commitments.

To ask for rent or a “barter” is an unbearably cringe idea, though. However, of course they shouldn’t have been pushy and if you had hosted they should have given you some great gift or gift card on their own.)

I agree. Either yes or no but don’t make it complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

Such a typically DCUM nasty hiding behind the keyboard response. People don't act like this in real life, thank God.

[Anonymous]

Great time to develop your communication skills, OP!

You can no. Or, you can say yes, if . . . . she agrees to your rules regarding cleaning, not staying out late, helping with cooking/grocery shopping, paying for food, whathaveyou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great time to develop your communication skills, OP!

You can no. Or, you can say yes, if . . . . she agrees to your rules regarding cleaning, not staying out late, helping with cooking/grocery shopping, paying for food, whathaveyou.

Oh, please. You're being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

+1. Plus, if she’s so smart that she received this prestigious internship, it should be on her, the student, to figure out housing. It’s not mommy’s problem to solve.

[Anonymous]

Friend should not have asked this. Politely decline if don't want to do.

[Anonymous]

Love all the nasty responses. You ladies never fail to disappoint.

[Anonymous]

Friend should not have asked and it’s certainly fine to say no.


“I can’t take on a summer houseguest, but we would be thrilled to take her to dinner and be a local resource for emergencies.”