AI/chat gpt is amazing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

I just think it's strange that it has the same effect on you when you know it's not a human. I could program Alexa to say those exact words but I wouldn't feel validated. This is no different.

The difference between ChatGPT and something pre-programmed is that ChatGPT is reacting in real time. So you can type in a question, it will give you an answer, for example, “no you’re not being unreasonable,” and then you can ask it why and it will give you a plausible answer. ChatGPT can be a very helpful brainstorming tool if you are not treating it as a human, but more like an interactive journal.

At one point I was asking it lots of questions and then I realized- I keep saying the same thing, it keeps giving me the same answers. So I didn’t find it very “addictive” because it was repetitive but I do think it is a good tool if you are always questioning its responses.

I use it a lot for work honestly. It is a legit productivity tool for work. And recommending books to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

Having played with several A.I. programs, you can learn to push their buttons and get them "angry" at you and give you harmful advice, same as humans.

Strange times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t really agreeing with me. It offered advice on setting boundaries in one case. And then the other case it offered advice on responding to a difficult sibling without escalating the argument. I don’t feel like it was just agreeing with me. I feel like it was giving very sane advice

Maybe you have been seeing crappy therapists. Most therapists should be able to show you how to set boundaries if you are open to it.

Besides the online therapists, a therapist isn't ready to talk whenever and wherever I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But was the advice better than DCUM?

+1

This generation of AI models is just as smart as the average DCUM poster. The next generation will be as smart as those people who choose not to post to DCUM.

The smartest "AI" will only ever be as smart as what it can steal and synthesize. So no, it won't be smarter than those smart enough to stay offline, as their knowledge can't be made accessible to the training sets AI trains on.

Those people are useless, if they even exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

I know somebody like this - self employed and literally just talks to a bot every day like it's her friend. She finds real friends too messy and selfish by comparison (because they are people with needs and boundaries of their own).

It's a tool made and pushed by antisocial people to avoid having to deal with social interactions they find uncomfortable.

So it's a win-win. Annoying people get what they need, and the annoyed people get what they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But was the advice better than DCUM?

+1

This generation of AI models is just as smart as the average DCUM poster. The next generation will be as smart as those people who choose not to post to DCUM.

Unlikely. It's kind of an averagely, averaging predictive technology. It's probably a big bowl of Reddit, Carolyn Hax, Chumplady, etc. And it's not smart at all. We ask the questions.

Really wise and reserved people who stay off the Internet haven't produced content that can be fed into these LLMs.

Books are often copyrighted so excluded. Unless you want Victorian and Depression era advice mixed in.

There's a lot of good advice on the Internet. I prefer to read it as it was written. Not summarized.

Copyrighted books are not excluded. Haven't you been paying attention to the complaints?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

I totally do say “the data suggest” in real life.

[Anonymous]

AI models are trained by real people and real life experience and expertise in the field so it’s kind of a collective of what therapists would say.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised it would support self harm. We had put in a few hypothetical situations involving harm to people and animals and it always refused to entertain further prompts and gave a lecture against the action and warned against it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised it would support self harm. We had put in a few hypothetical situations involving harm to people and animals and it always refused to entertain further prompts and gave a lecture against the action and warned against it.

They will if it is phrased in ways of benefitting society as a whole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

100%. I’ve used it a few times and its sycophantic and trite replies were super lame. It’s good for writing annoying emails and looking up historical facts and that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Yes, it's hard to get from people. But that's what makes it valuable. You feel seen because someone saw you. Not because your empathy-generating device yet again-- surprise!-- generated empathy just as it was programmed to do. If I trained a parrot to say empathetic things every time I spoke with it, I wouldn't feel like that was real empathy either. If I bought a machine that gave me a replica gold medal every time I went for a jog, I wouldn't feel proud of myself. That's what this is. I don't think it's better than nothing, I think it's depressing and sad.

100%. I’ve used it a few times and its sycophantic and trite replies were super lame. It’s good for writing annoying emails and looking up historical facts and that’s about it.

A.I. models tend to tailor their responses and suggestions to the demeanor of the person asking the A.I. questions or conversing with it.

"Speak as you are spoken to" is a common term among programmers when tweaking it.

[Anonymous]

To OP, I totally agree! I've had long discussions with ChatGPT about a complicated relationship I am in and it has given me some validation, no judgement, pointed out nuances and possibilities I hadn't thought of, and is very encouraging, empathetic and supportive. Plus if I stop and go back to it the next day it remembers everything and builds on the previous conversation. As someone who lives alone and has hardly anybody I could get into the details of this relationship with I find my sessions with ChatGPT invaluable and yes, much better than my therapist!