College junior dc says he’d like to move back in with us to save money when he starts working. (Assuming he gets a job).

[Anonymous]

This is our plan for both of my college students. They will come home and stay with us while they get their feet under them. We will charge "rent" and put it into an account so they have a good nest egg to start out with.

[Anonymous]

I did this almost 20 years ago. It helped me save up a lot of money. I did pay a small amount of rent to my father ($300). In the end, it lasted about 9 months. It wss way out in the suburbs and I wanted to be closer to my job and nightlife.

[Anonymous]

My kid didn't even have to ask, and my ex and I never discussed it. I guess it was just an unsaid thing we all understood. I can't imagine having to have "thoughts" about it. Under reasonable circumstances, my door is always open to my kids. My kid graduated a year ago and is living at home, working two jobs, and saving to buy a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather help my dc with their rent or whatever than have them move back in.

This

[Anonymous]

It’s what we’re doing now with our kid who graduated college this spring. I told him he was welcome to live at home rent-free for one year. After that he’ll pay rent, which bc we can afford it, will probably be more symbolic than actual cost of rent in our area for a room in a house.

If you can tolerate each other, I’m all for it. I did it myself and saved up for a down payment on a townhouse (25 years ago).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in very high COL city (not DMV)

Thoughts?

Well, depends on the individual kid. If he is a good team player who pitches in, cares about others and would work hard to become independent, it may work. If he is lazy, moody and rude, not a good idea. Imho, its rarely a good idea to let other adults move in with you, even if they are your own kids. If he was sick or injured etc, that would be different but not worth to risk your relationship just to save some money. He can share an apartment with roommates. You can buy him an apartment and let him live rent free until he is able to pay rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In most places in the world this would be totally normal and the parents thinking it's not a good idea would be considered monsters. Something to consider

In those places, adult kids also let parents move in and take care of them in old age. Its not a one way street.

[Anonymous]

I’m guessing you are white family.

[Anonymous]

I came from a culture where its common place but mostly because of economics and enmeshed culture and often ends up straining or ruining relationships.

[Anonymous]

Presuming the kid was indeed saving, being forward-thinking, and was a respectful household member, I would do it in a heartbeat.

My DD is living with a family member right now. They live near her work, have the space, she is good company, and helps around the house. We insisted they accept a modest token rent from her that still allows her to save a great deal and gives them some extra "fun money"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In most places in the world this would be totally normal and the parents thinking it's not a good idea would be considered monsters. Something to consider

In those places, adult kids also let parents move in and take care of them in old age. Its not a one way street.

Well that sounds pretty great.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a smart, practical kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed at my Adult Children if they don't save their money and not stay with us, if they are working close by. If they get a job in another city, well, then they need to make it work. We will help in all ways.

When my DD wanted to get married, I made sure that she stayed with us for two years and save money. I did not want her to get married without a good nest egg accumulated. If you have two years of salary saved - you have options in life.

I'd be pissed at my adult parent for living in a big house after I moved out, instead of downsizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd allow it. Charge a nominal rent, save it and give it to him as a down payment/security deposit for when he moves out on his own.

But what about chores? I feel like he’d revert to being a pig when he lives with me, although I know he’s fairly clean with his regular roommates at school

Sounds like poor parenting then. If he's paying rent and being treated like a renter, he should be cleaning up after himself. He can do his own laundry, dishes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a good idea sssumijg he can respect house rules. My nephew did this in the dmv and was able to save up enough money over a couple of years that he then had the deposit for his townhome.
It’s sort of silly to force young people to pay overpriced rent when their parents have lots of space.
It’s worth talking about things like whether he should pay rent (or put it in a down payment fund), help with chores and cooking etc. you don’t want it just to be a failure to launch situation where he spends all his money on trips to Vegas or whatever nonsense.

Op I agree with this. I’d want my dc to pay rent. He hasn’t been great about helping out when he’s at home (although he does his own laundry) so I’d want him to also pay for an extra cleaning at our place every month. I am too busy to pick up after him.

That's ridiculous.