College junior dc says he’d like to move back in with us to save money when he starts working. (Assuming he gets a job).
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Anonymous
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We are in very high COL city (not DMV)
Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Why wouldn’t you allow this? My aunt let me live with her to get my footing in NYC - I never would have been able to otherwise. |
Anonymous
| I'd rather help my dc with their rent or whatever than have them move back in. |
Anonymous
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I think a good idea sssumijg he can respect house rules. My nephew did this in the dmv and was able to save up enough money over a couple of years that he then had the deposit for his townhome.
It’s sort of silly to force young people to pay overpriced rent when their parents have lots of space. It’s worth talking about things like whether he should pay rent (or put it in a down payment fund), help with chores and cooking etc. you don’t want it just to be a failure to launch situation where he spends all his money on trips to Vegas or whatever nonsense. |
Anonymous
| Charge him rent and assign chores. When he moves out you can give him that rent money towards a downpayment. |
Anonymous
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It makes sense from a family wealth-building perspective.
I went home for a year after college while I job searched (terrible recession). Wasn't charged to live at home. I found a job and moved 4 hours away within a year and have been financially independent ever since (30+ years). My parents weren't freaked out because after graduating from an Ivy, they went directly to grad school. And my mom married 2 months after her graduation and eventually became a SAHM. So they didn't have expectations of me immediately earning tons of money after undergrad. It's very important to align your housing location and monthly costs with a stable job. Having a lease-free place to move out of, at a controlled, non-urgent pace, is very helpful in setting up early career success. |
Anonymous
| We live in NYC and plan to help them in any way they need if they choose to start their careers here. I'm fine with them staying with us, but we will also help them with rent if they want to live with friends. |
Anonymous
| Agree. Create a formal agreement spelling out the expectations of all. Clnsider what would be important to each of you. |
Anonymous
| I think this is fine for a short period of time (1 year or less), but I'd find it concerning for it to be my child's 'Plan A.' The goal is employment and independence, and yes, sometimes it takes a little while, but it shouldn't be assumed that it will necessitate a move back in with the parents. Also, I wouldn't want my child to be limiting themselves to jobs only in my city; they should be searching across multiple cities they'd be happy living in. |
Anonymous
| That's fantastic. Sounds like he's putting long term goals ahead of blowing money on a cool apartment and city life. |
Anonymous
| It wouldn’t bother me, but I would be annoyed if I saw them spending not saving. |
Anonymous
+1 Our DS saved a lot while staying with us during Covid and working remotely. Seems ridiculous to make your child pay rent to someone else in the same HCOL city when you have a room available. |
Anonymous
| In most places in the world this would be totally normal and the parents thinking it's not a good idea would be considered monsters. Something to consider |
Anonymous
| This is the rule these days and not the exception as it was when I was graduating in 2005. Rents have gotten really stupid. |
Anonymous
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I would be completely ok with this. If you are worried they'll skid into a rut, just set some guidelines ahead of time. Like they need to be employed, they can have so many months "free" and then charge them a little rent so they get used to paying that bill.
I lived with my mom for 2 years after college and it allowed me to save money while I figured things out. I can't imagine if she'd told me NO what I would have done. After I moved out at 24, she never needed to give me money or support me in any way. |