College junior dc says he’d like to move back in with us to save money when he starts working. (Assuming he gets a job).

[Anonymous]

I would not only allow this, but welcome it. My kids are smart, responsible, and hardworking. They would be able to save an enormous amount of money living with us while they are starting out. It is truly a no brainer for us.

[Anonymous]

It was never the expectation for my family that we couldn't come back after college, so I don't really understand this idea. You should raise your kids to be adults that you like. You raise them to understand that being a family means having shared expectations and mutual respect. I saved money and got to know my parents as an adult. It was awesome in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Smart kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed at my Adult Children if they don't save their money and not stay with us, if they are working close by. If they get a job in another city, well, then they need to make it work. We will help in all ways.

When my DD wanted to get married, I made sure that she stayed with us for two years and save money. I did not want her to get married without a good nest egg accumulated. If you have two years of salary saved - you have options in life.

I'd be pissed at my adult parent for living in a big house after I moved out, instead of downsizing.

Why? If they want to stay in their home and neighborhood and can afford it, what's your problem? Also if they had to move to a smaller place, you'll be pissed that they don't have space for you to visit. Pissed kids find ways to be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a financial plan rather than a fear of being an adult on his own. As long as there’s no risk of him becoming a basement-dweller with no social life, then why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my kids that they are allowed to stay with us rent-free (and board free) until they are 35. After that, we will have some room-mate kind of division of labor and cost sharing.

This also holds true for married children.

35????

NFW

Yup. I am assuming that this reduces all kinds of stress for them.

I don’t really anticipate my kids will be living with us without an arrangement till this age, but, does not hurt me in any way to plant the seed of multi-gen homestead living.

Apart from that- 35 sounds a bit more American than lifelong. 😎

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in very high COL city (not DMV)

Thoughts?

Well, depends on the individual kid. If he is a good team player who pitches in, cares about others and would work hard to become independent, it may work. If he is lazy, moody and rude, not a good idea. Imho, its rarely a good idea to let other adults move in with you, even if they are your own kids. If he was sick or injured etc, that would be different but not worth to risk your relationship just to save some money. He can share an apartment with roommates. You can buy him an apartment and let him live rent free until he is able to pay rent.

I don’t agree. Great parents, great kids, happen due to lifelong functional and loving relationship. If you are anticipating issues, then your relationship is already not at a place where you can live together. I would call it a failure of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Always a “yes”. Our kids are always welcome back home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather help my dc with their rent or whatever than have them move back in.

Nope. It is wasting your DC’s money and your money. I would let my DC save their money, and I would save mine too. I see no value in paying rent to someone else.

I also dislike the idea of making kids pay rent to parents and then the parents presenting that money when kids move out. I find that insulting to the kids maturity. My children are more than able to save their money and invest it. They don’t have to give their rent to me for safekeeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather help my dc with their rent or whatever than have them move back in.

Nope. It is wasting your DC’s money and your money. I would let my DC save their money, and I would save mine too. I see no value in paying rent to someone else.

I also dislike the idea of making kids pay rent to parents and then the parents presenting that money when kids move out. I find that insulting to the kids maturity. My children are more than able to save their money and invest it. They don’t have to give their rent to me for safekeeping.

I agree about them making payment rent.

I’m the one who quoted. I stand by that. I don’t care what others do.

[Anonymous]

I would not think twice. Economy almost requires it these days to set rhen on a good path. Establish adult rules and treat him with respect you would for an adult. Expect the same from him

[Anonymous]

Personally I wouldn't take rent or charge any expenses unless I just can't survive without it. However, I would rather help them become independent in other ways than them moving home and regressing to teen age.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the issue. All of our kids did this. And we had four of them. Two had their husbands move in too.

[Anonymous]

It seems young adults nowadays don't socialize , date or go into relationships. Unless you have a private guest suit with a bath, living area and separate external door, them coming late, having their friends, dates or partner over, would effect your sleep and privacy. No?

[Anonymous]

Charge monthly “rent” and save in escrow til they are ready to move out. That way they will have a nest egg/move out of your house fund ready to go.