College junior dc says he’d like to move back in with us to save money when he starts working. (Assuming he gets a job).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your kid's personality and social situation. It'll make dating much harder.

No, no, no. This is a myth. Staying at parent's home does not make dating harder for adult males. It makes it way easier and more fun.

My DS stayed home and he dated quite a bit. Several things happened when he was home -

- His day to day domestic life was easier and well organized because of me. This gave him peace of mind and time. As a result, he had the time and patience to be more present for his SO. Also, since he was not paying the bills for running the home, he also was saving money and could treat or take care of his GF,

- He had to plan the intimate part of a romantic life because there was less privacy at my house than living alone in an apartment. Which meant that neither he nor the girl had the pressure of having sex in the first few dates. So no crossed signals, no expectations etc. Sex happened when the relationship itself had had time to mature.

- DS and his gf, both went out of their way to get out of the house and do new things and have more adventures together - since they did not want to just hang out at our place. Even when they were trying to save money (and many times ate at home with us), they looked for new ways to explore things outside. I have seen that often men become lazy when they are alone in an apartment and they stop planning evenings or outings - because they are in their comfort zone.

Why do you know ALL of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a good idea sssumijg he can respect house rules. My nephew did this in the dmv and was able to save up enough money over a couple of years that he then had the deposit for his townhome.
It’s sort of silly to force young people to pay overpriced rent when their parents have lots of space.
It’s worth talking about things like whether he should pay rent (or put it in a down payment fund), help with chores and cooking etc. you don’t want it just to be a failure to launch situation where he spends all his money on trips to Vegas or whatever nonsense.

+1 Our DS saved a lot while staying with us during Covid and working remotely. Seems ridiculous to make your child pay rent to someone else in the same HCOL city when you have a room available.

I agree with this but also know that a lot of folks in HCOL areas downsize to less expensive apartments as they stretched to have a larger place when their children were younger. Alas, did bite someone who downsized too quickly to a 1 BR and their youngest didn't even finish their first semester at a state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a good idea sssumijg he can respect house rules. My nephew did this in the dmv and was able to save up enough money over a couple of years that he then had the deposit for his townhome.
It’s sort of silly to force young people to pay overpriced rent when their parents have lots of space.
It’s worth talking about things like whether he should pay rent (or put it in a down payment fund), help with chores and cooking etc. you don’t want it just to be a failure to launch situation where he spends all his money on trips to Vegas or whatever nonsense.

+1 Our DS saved a lot while staying with us during Covid and working remotely. Seems ridiculous to make your child pay rent to someone else in the same HCOL city when you have a room available.

I agree with this but also know that a lot of folks in HCOL areas downsize to less expensive apartments as they stretched to have a larger place when their children were younger. Alas, did bite someone who downsized too quickly to a 1 BR and their youngest didn't even finish their first semester at a state school.

I would personally never downsize to a 1 bedroom. We did to a 2 bed/2 bath, so we can have guests and easily accommodate one kid (still in college) when home for breaks.