Wife and reality

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong and unacceptable? That she has to work in person at a hospital or an office or a courtroom? Surely since you have so much flexibility, income and work from home you can empathize with those of us who don’t? And be there for your kid more this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agreed to do something/ a reasonable person thought you would, and you didn't do it, but left out that part. Stay home?

No the case I think she feels like 5 million dollar salaries are handed to everyone.

They don’t hand that out to everyone, including you.

If you made that kind of money you wouldn’t have this problem. I know because I make less than this and can afford not to have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

You are no longer the dominant one. You must re-establish dominance. There can only be one person in charge.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need a different community if most of the parents in your community are same that's likely causing pressure. I actually question what she plays to do as a sample of a teen?

Seems she's resentful. You can tell her to keep it up ans she will get to see how she would feel as a single parent who has to work full time

[Anonymous]

Same = sahm

[Anonymous]

What is the actual problem OP?

[Anonymous]

Not really understanding.

What is the young teen doing during the day? If you WFH are you driving her somewhere at times or keeping an eye out as needed? Or is she doing camp/activities? Is something not happening that should be?

[Anonymous]

She’s annoyed she’s not a SAHM and or doesn’t WFM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did you do or help do? For eg:

Select and sign up for sleep away or day camps?

Pick some good summer school programs?

Plan some meaningful family or kid travel?

Find good sports or fitness programs for them each week?

Help them plan and make healthy meals if home?

Set school or health or athletic goals and steps towards achieving them?

Find out which friends or relatives are in town when so they can socialize?

To reiterate it is not about what the DC is doing this summer it is that she is angry she is not home with DC.

But to answer your condescending questions.

I make healthy meals daily.

DC has a trainer two days a week.

I plan all the travel. We go out on our boat almost every weekend and DC always brings a friend.

DC has a job and is also doing a class this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you do or help do? For eg:

Select and sign up for sleep away or day camps?

Pick some good summer school programs?

Plan some meaningful family or kid travel?

Find good sports or fitness programs for them each week?

Help them plan and make healthy meals if home?

Set school or health or athletic goals and steps towards achieving them?

Find out which friends or relatives are in town when so they can socialize?

To reiterate it is not about what the DC is doing this summer it is that she is angry she is not home with DC.

But to answer your condescending questions.

I make healthy meals daily.

DC has a trainer two days a week.

I plan all the travel. We go out on our boat almost every weekend and DC always brings a friend.

DC has a job and is also doing a class this summer.

Yassss!!! 🔥

[Anonymous]

When did she start acting this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agreed to do something/ a reasonable person thought you would, and you didn't do it, but left out that part. Stay home?

No the case I think she feels like 5 million dollar salaries are handed to everyone.

R u making the case that ur are Op here b1tching on DCUM, ignoring your kids watching porn online, and working oh so hard at home office?

How oxymoronic.

I am OP.
Stereotype much?

I don’t ignore my kid. And I do work hard. Why would you think I don’t work hard just because I work from home?
Why would I spend all day watching porn? I wouldn’t have a job if I did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she is mad that the kid is wasting time at home sitting around. How about camp?

Disagree. I think she is just mad she is not a SAHM and summer is the only time she can argue the value in that with a straight face.

If she makes less than 20% of their HHI and she wants to be a SAHM, then they should talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she is mad that the kid is wasting time at home sitting around. How about camp?

Disagree. I think she is just mad she is not a SAHM and summer is the only time she can argue the value in that with a straight face.

If she makes less than 20% of their HHI and she wants to be a SAHM, then they should talk about it.

I have offered, we could afford it. But we can't afford it and the beach house, and the boat and the nice vacations etc.

[Anonymous]

Most women who grew up UMC end up angry if they have to continue working. There eventually ends up being some resentment. Some women here will chime in that they love their job and absolutely would do it over staying at home and enjoying life, but they are either outliers or in denial.

Really it’s the system that we are angry about. Needing and expecting to work but not having an equal partner at home.