Husband dumping my milk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why I think pumping and so much about breastfeeding are a nightmare, and I will never do it again. Formula is a miracle.

OP, I pumped exclusively for 6 weeks with my first because she couldn’t latch, had an oversupply like you and saved a bunch of milk. Then for various reasons I combo fed, and long story short breastfed that baby for 2.5 years. So please don’t dismiss what I’m saying as coming from someone who doesn’t get it.

It’s just milk. It is 10000% not worth stressing over. I agree that pumping takes so much physical effort and time so your husband’s actions seem callous and maddening. But instead of getting mad I think you should stop subjecting yourself to the totally unnecessary torture of pumping. Don’t do this to yourself. There’s no benefit. I’m combo feeding my second and pumping zero.

I’m the original poster. I nurse and pump. We are actively working on nursing with an expert. I still have excess milk I would pump if I were 100% nursing.

[Anonymous]

Go on Amazon and buy 100s of 4 oz bags. No need to use as few as possible. 2 oz in some, 3 in some, whatever floats your boats. Thaw 3 ox, 2 2 oz, whatever. You are making crazy land for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

I am guessing you are a first time mom. I was crazy about milk when I was a first time mom, too. Unlike you, I did not have an oversupply, so every ounce really did count, and I would have to wake up twice in the middle of the night because that's when I could pump the most milk, plus I had to use nipple shields to nurse, and it was just horrible. I deeply, deeply, deeply regret focusing on feeding my child rather than focusing on my actual child and my own personal well being. I'm sure my anxiety stemmed from lack of sleep and anxiety bred more anxiety. With my second child, I had to supplement from the outset and then was forced to switch to 100% formula when I had to take some medication that was not compatible with breastfeeding. I felt so much better, my husband was less miserable because I was less miserable and I was able to focus on my children and my health. Oh, and by the way, the mostly formula fed child is the one that's testing well, has better grades, is more active in multiple sports, etc., so there go all those theories about breast is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would lose my shit utterly.

If it was a stupid, thoughtless act, I tried reeeeaaaallllly hard to not completely lose it.

If I told him to never do it again and he did, I would absolutely lose my shit. I’d have a hard time getting over that for a really long time.

[Anonymous]

I would kill him.

[Anonymous]

I bought a bunch of the bottles and kept it in the fridge for a few days. I didn’t freeze it until maybe day 3 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

My take away from all this is that you are pouring milk into the bathwater. Am I reading that right? I don't see how that is any better than pouring it down the drain.

[Anonymous]

You ungrateful brat. Your husband is helping feed the baby and you’re mad because he tossed some extra milk he likely didn’t know would keep? Good grief no wonder there is so much divorce on this site.

[Anonymous]

Also I call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a FTM to an adorable baby boy and have been blessed with a great supply. I’ve been storing the excess milk I make and we use a couple bags a week to keep the supply fresh. I found out today that my husband just dumps whatever he thinks we don’t need, what he doesn’t finish, and if he thinks he saved too much milk. He has been dumping a lot of milk down the drain and I’m furious with him. Is it reasonable to be this upset with him over milk?

Yes, that’s upsetting. What’s important is that he changes his behavior going forward. I can’t imagine what got into his head to do that, but yea, it needs to stop.

. why didn't OP explain to him what she was doing? Why isn't she freezing the milk? Maybe the refrigerator is so full of breast milk that there is no room for actual food!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

Well, aren't you generous to a fault letting him handle storing and washing! If you don't like his way then handle it yourself.

[Anonymous]

He's probably drinking it the kinky bastard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

My take away from all this is that you are pouring milk into the bathwater. Am I reading that right? I don't see how that is any better than pouring it down the drain.

I’m the original poster.

I’ve put it in the bath once. What I’m saying is that the leftover milk the doesn’t drink can be used for the bath but my husband says that’s nasty and dumps the milk.

He just fully dumps any milk that doesn’t fit into 4oz at the end of the day. I tallied for the past week after seeing what I pumped and he threw away 22oz just from that.

He will dump out any milk that I leave at room temp. It’s good for 4 hours but he doesn’t believe that so he dumps it. Nothing left in fridge for 24 hours is frozen or dumped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You ungrateful brat. Your husband is helping feed the baby and you’re mad because he tossed some extra milk he likely didn’t know would keep? Good grief no wonder there is so much divorce on this site.

I’m the original poster.

I’m not an ungrateful brat. I care for our child majority of the time. He has stepped in other ways, like washing pump parts/bottles and storing milk. We are both parents and it’s both our responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

He's friggin rigid and I'm seeing red through my computer screen.