shared family beach house - issue with damaged item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a question here? The cousin agreed to pay for it. Ignore the aunt as this isn’t her fight. Next time label the board with a note to not use.

Move on.

Actually, the aunt is a saint to let this stream of people stay in her home all summer, provide free storage year round, and put up with this petty bullshit. What she says about these petty squabbles should be the end of it. Sweet jesus, I'd weep tears of joy to have this arrangement -- the aunt did this during the pandemic summer last year, no less! What a bunch of ingrates squabbling of nonsense.

The OP's FIL is an owner too, the aunt isn't the completely generous one. I do think it's on the cousin to replace as s/he is the one who got it out and made it so the stray kid had an opportunity to break it

[Anonymous]

The OP mentioned that there was a collection of other boards to used in the to be shared by all shed. That this one was in the not to be shared shed, may have been a clue it was of higher value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The families have an established procedure. They have a separate shed we’re families member place things that shouldn’t be shared. There is nothing rude or problematic about this.

Everyone respected this rule except the cousin who was tempted by the expensive board. Who knows maybe this cousin is a big jerk and just helps himself to the stuff he isn’t supposed to use all the time. He got caught and destroyed something that he shouldn’t have had anyway.

Not to mention, f my kid or guests kid destroyed something that was in the communal living area I would replace that item. This is a family home not an Airbnb with a security deposit.

.

+1 Cousin has been brought up by his mother to think he doesn’t have to play by the rules and is entitled to use other people’s property. Shameful.

You mean like this family feels entitled to stay free on property that’s not theirs? I guess it runs in the family.

NP here - by that logic, cousin is entitled too! It’s not just aunt’s house, but OP’s FIL’s as well.

[Anonymous]

This thread is such a great example of the many people on this site that cannot read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since there isn't a question here, I'm guessing that OP wanted to suss out how others viewed this situation.

My two cents:

All three parties are in the wrong here, with decreasing degrees of transgression.

Cousin is the biggest transgressor. Cousin CLEARLY should not have taken the boogie board out of the shed. The expectations seem pretty clear on that front. Given the resulting damage, Cousin absolutely should have offered to pay the full cost for replacement. That he only offered 50% is bad form. That he subsequently complained about the argument to his mom (the aunt) makes it even worse. Given how all of this went down, I'd be cordial but distant moving forward with Cousin.

OP's husband (OPH) is the wronged party, but he's similarly guilty of bad behavior. Nobody likes having their belongings broken. Nobody likes feeling like they are being taken advantage of (the 50% reimbursement offer). That said, for 12 years, there were no problems. The cousin made two poor choices, but OPH should have graciously accepted the 50% (while privately venting to OP). This graciousness would allow DH to be the bigger person, but ALSO, help keep the peace, which is critical in a shared ownership situation like this one. That OPH chose to make his stand, when he is a BENEFICIARY of the co-owner's collective generosity of free beach rentals, indicates he is both completely clueless and also suffering from a profound sense of entitlement. My advice moving forward is for OPH to reflect, regroup, practice being gracious, and for heaven's sake, DO NOT store anything that isn't replaceable at the rental anymore.

Finally, the aunt. She should have stayed out of the issue altogether. That said, her transgression is the most minor, and in balance with her overall generosity, I'd give her a pass. My hunch is, when cousin called her to complain about the fight with OPH, she told cousin to buck up, pay the full cost, and for goodness sakes, stop complaining when they had a free vacation rental. Being a generation older, she may have felt the need to pass similar guidance to OPH. I recommend being especially kind to aunt moving forward. Goodness knows she can decide at any time she's sick of the whole lot of you.

Sorry about the boogie board. This can be a good lesson for your kids, or a poor one. You can teach them to be angry, entitled, and bitter about what happened, or explain that sometimes people make poor choices, but since nobody is perfect, we can be gracious when people make mistakes. (It might not be bad to let them know that another color boogie board isn't the end of the world either.) These are the moments that help shape character. Please think carefully on what kind of person you'd like your children to be.

This is the perfect, thoughtful take on this issue, and I agree with everything you’ve said. My only complaint (besides the lack of snark that you probably are too decent to comprehend) is that you’ve let whiny, petty OP off the hook. She’s a lesser transgressor, but she also sucks (sorry—is also mildly at fault for her whiny, myopic, $275-boogie-board-leaving, aunt-and-cousin-judging, DH-flaw-ignoring, behavior).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

[Anonymous]

You are lucky enough to have free access to a beach house and you are whining about a couple hundred dollars within the family. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

[Anonymous]

why is everyone freaking out about the cost of the boogie board? We have a good one and it is far better than the cheap ones. similar to buying a $100 bike from walmart vs a $750 bike from a bike shop.
if her kids are serious boarders, they dont want the $30 version from costco.
I am also team OP. Someone borrowed her stuff, broke it and now needs to replace it. The fact that she has a free place to stay has no bearing on what is the right thing to do. anyone who thinks otherwise and judges Op is off their rockers and probably the kind of person that doesnt think twice about taking advantage of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is penny wise and pound foolish as the aunt could start charging you rent the week you stay.

Agree. Maybe op is out of touch because she gets a free beach house but a rental for the week could easily be 2K.

Try 4000-6000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

[Anonymous]

Team op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

Please enlighten the rest of us how the amount that OP pays to stay at this house is relevant to reimbursement for the damage of her property. So if she paid money to her father, aunt and uncle to rent the house, then her stuff should be protected from destruction? But since her family allows her to use it for free, she should allow for her stuff to be destroyed without replacement? WTF does this have to do with anything? You sound petty and jealous that you don’t have a similar arrangement of a free beach house vacation. Full disclosure, I’m jealous too, but I still know to pay for crap that my kid or my guest destroys.