shared family beach house - issue with damaged item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d bet $20 bucks that the cousin not the friends kid broke it or even stole it.

+1. Cousin admits HE wanted to see how it rode and he made sure it got quite the workout.

[Anonymous]

Team OP here. Cousin sounds exactly like my sister. My parents own a beach house they allow all their grown children to use and my sister and her children destroy everything so now we NEVER leave or store anything there when we aren’t there. My kid is an avid surfer and boogie boarder and he has some nice boards and while it is a huge PITA to have to haul them back and forth every time we go, we do. My sister and her kids break everything, lie about it, and it just sucks all around. Family dynamics can get tricky. There just be some history here re the cousin. Plus it sets a precedent that it’s no biggie to take something that doesn’t belong to you, that you know you are not supposed to take, misuse it, abuse it, and break it. Cousin isn’t a child. He’s an adult. And he made the choice to take the board from the special shed, without permission, and allow someone else’s kid to use it. He could have called or texted OP’s husband to say “hey, I found your board at the beach house, can I try it out?” No, he knew what he was doing, and thought he wouldn’t get caught. GMAB. And then he ran to him mommy to complain about paying? pathetic.

Yes, boogie boards can get that expensive, especially good ones. If you are serious about anything, why would you get the cheapest quality one? Maybe OP’s kid is a serious boarder or they want a board that lasts a few years. Those cheap styrofoam ones from Wings or Sunsations are awful. But if you just want to use it for a week and throw it away after then NBD.

[Anonymous]

Since there isn't a question here, I'm guessing that OP wanted to suss out how others viewed this situation.

My two cents:

All three parties are in the wrong here, with decreasing degrees of transgression.

Cousin is the biggest transgressor. Cousin CLEARLY should not have taken the boogie board out of the shed. The expectations seem pretty clear on that front. Given the resulting damage, Cousin absolutely should have offered to pay the full cost for replacement. That he only offered 50% is bad form. That he subsequently complained about the argument to his mom (the aunt) makes it even worse. Given how all of this went down, I'd be cordial but distant moving forward with Cousin.

OP's husband (OPH) is the wronged party, but he's similarly guilty of bad behavior. Nobody likes having their belongings broken. Nobody likes feeling like they are being taken advantage of (the 50% reimbursement offer). That said, for 12 years, there were no problems. The cousin made two poor choices, but OPH should have graciously accepted the 50% (while privately venting to OP). This graciousness would allow DH to be the bigger person, but ALSO, help keep the peace, which is critical in a shared ownership situation like this one. That OPH chose to make his stand, when he is a BENEFICIARY of the co-owner's collective generosity of free beach rentals, indicates he is both completely clueless and also suffering from a profound sense of entitlement. My advice moving forward is for OPH to reflect, regroup, practice being gracious, and for heaven's sake, DO NOT store anything that isn't replaceable at the rental anymore.

Finally, the aunt. She should have stayed out of the issue altogether. That said, her transgression is the most minor, and in balance with her overall generosity, I'd give her a pass. My hunch is, when cousin called her to complain about the fight with OPH, she told cousin to buck up, pay the full cost, and for goodness sakes, stop complaining when they had a free vacation rental. Being a generation older, she may have felt the need to pass similar guidance to OPH. I recommend being especially kind to aunt moving forward. Goodness knows she can decide at any time she's sick of the whole lot of you.

Sorry about the boogie board. This can be a good lesson for your kids, or a poor one. You can teach them to be angry, entitled, and bitter about what happened, or explain that sometimes people make poor choices, but since nobody is perfect, we can be gracious when people make mistakes. (It might not be bad to let them know that another color boogie board isn't the end of the world either.) These are the moments that help shape character. Please think carefully on what kind of person you'd like your children to be.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the judgmental bullies, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since there isn't a question here, I'm guessing that OP wanted to suss out how others viewed this situation.

My two cents:

All three parties are in the wrong here, with decreasing degrees of transgression.

Cousin is the biggest transgressor. Cousin CLEARLY should not have taken the boogie board out of the shed. The expectations seem pretty clear on that front. Given the resulting damage, Cousin absolutely should have offered to pay the full cost for replacement. That he only offered 50% is bad form. That he subsequently complained about the argument to his mom (the aunt) makes it even worse. Given how all of this went down, I'd be cordial but distant moving forward with Cousin.

OP's husband (OPH) is the wronged party, but he's similarly guilty of bad behavior. Nobody likes having their belongings broken. Nobody likes feeling like they are being taken advantage of (the 50% reimbursement offer). That said, for 12 years, there were no problems. The cousin made two poor choices, but OPH should have graciously accepted the 50% (while privately venting to OP). This graciousness would allow DH to be the bigger person, but ALSO, help keep the peace, which is critical in a shared ownership situation like this one. That OPH chose to make his stand, when he is a BENEFICIARY of the co-owner's collective generosity of free beach rentals, indicates he is both completely clueless and also suffering from a profound sense of entitlement. My advice moving forward is for OPH to reflect, regroup, practice being gracious, and for heaven's sake, DO NOT store anything that isn't replaceable at the rental anymore.

Finally, the aunt. She should have stayed out of the issue altogether. That said, her transgression is the most minor, and in balance with her overall generosity, I'd give her a pass. My hunch is, when cousin called her to complain about the fight with OPH, she told cousin to buck up, pay the full cost, and for goodness sakes, stop complaining when they had a free vacation rental. Being a generation older, she may have felt the need to pass similar guidance to OPH. I recommend being especially kind to aunt moving forward. Goodness knows she can decide at any time she's sick of the whole lot of you.

Sorry about the boogie board. This can be a good lesson for your kids, or a poor one. You can teach them to be angry, entitled, and bitter about what happened, or explain that sometimes people make poor choices, but since nobody is perfect, we can be gracious when people make mistakes. (It might not be bad to let them know that another color boogie board isn't the end of the world either.) These are the moments that help shape character. Please think carefully on what kind of person you'd like your children to be.

Add the kid who broke it and possibly the parents too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the cousin broke something he was not supposed to touch and only offered to pay 1/2. After reluctantly agreeing to pay up, ran off to his mommy complaining to get you in trouble because he did not get his own way.

Cousin didn’t break anything. Cousin’s friend’s kid broke it and cousin conveyed what the friend was willing to pay. Then OP is a jerk to cousin who did nothing wrong. I can see why cousin complained to mom.

The adult cousin was responsible for supervising his minor guests. They broke an expensive item (by beach toy standards). His responsibility.

He “complained to mom” because he’s a spoiled toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They couldn’t have possibly guessed that the boogie board was THAT expensive. So when it broke, I’m sure they had every intention of replacing it. But after finding out it costs a ridiculous amount of money, they offered to pay half. Don’t make them pay $275 for an accident, it will sow resentment. It’s really not worth it- just take the half and be grateful they offered at all.

I don’t know how much a nice bike costs these days so I take yours for a spin without asking permission and end up totalling it. My bad. So you tell me how much it costs and I had NO idea, so will you please accept half and be grateful?

Yeah. My family gets Walmart bikes for around $100, so that’s the most I’m willing to reimburse you, but that’s cool, right? Because FaMiLy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They couldn’t have possibly guessed that the boogie board was THAT expensive. So when it broke, I’m sure they had every intention of replacing it. But after finding out it costs a ridiculous amount of money, they offered to pay half. Don’t make them pay $275 for an accident, it will sow resentment. It’s really not worth it- just take the half and be grateful they offered at all.

I don’t know how much a nice bike costs these days so I take yours for a spin without asking permission and end up totalling it. My bad. So you tell me how much it costs and I had NO idea, so will you please accept half and be grateful?

For one, a bike is on a whole different cost bracket. The cheapest one might cost $300, and they can cost up to $10k. It’s not something you just “borrow” without asking especially of it’s clearly a nice one. Most boogie boards are $30. I had no idea they even made ones that are over $200. So if you want to make an equal comparison- it would be like accidentally staining someone’s throw pillow, and then the family member asking you to give them $300 to replace it. It’s bad such bad form.

But I didn’t know that because I’ve never paid for one but I know how to ride one. You’re my cousin and left it in a communal place so, surely, it can’t mean that much to you. I rode it a bit and then my kids’ friends rode it and one of them crashed because he was fooling around. Sorry! Could you accept half because it was used?

Perfection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cousins and parents of the brat who broke it should split the full replacement cost.

Here’s what: replacement cost of a USED item is not a NEW item.

The USED price after 2 rides (well, 3, including the jackass kid who broke it) is not a 50% off fire sale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much to unpack here!

First, who knew $275 boogie boards exist!

Second, for that price, I assume it is fiberglass not styrofoam, so how the heck did a little
kid break it?

Third, if I were that kid’s parent, I’d be racing over checkbook in hand to replace it, where is that parent in this story? I admit I’d be shocked at the cost of the boogie board, but man that must have been some rough play by the kid so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯!

Fourth, in the cousin’s shoes I’d have offered to fully replace the board. The fact that he offered half makes me think he knew what an expensive board this was (otherwise, wouldn’t he just have picked up a new one for $30 when checking out at harris teeter?!). The “house rules” were clear and I bet there is lots of history with the cousin stepping on toes.

Fifth, aunt should myob!

It doesn’t say it was a “little” kid. Fiberglass boards can snap if you forcibly jump down on them, especially repeatedly, which is why you don’t do that (and you supervise your friend’s kid so this doesn’t happen and then you don’t go crying to mommy railing at the injustice of someone holding you accountable for the first time in your life).

Or, you know, just don’t touch stuff that doesn’t belong to you. There’s that, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it to DCUM to remind us yet again how entitled and disrespectful people are. What about basic respect for someone else’s property? If my child or my guest broke something, I would replace it, and I wouldn’t start out with some BS depreciation offer that I pulled outta my butt. Instead, the DCUM apologists go off on the cost of the boogie board, who owns the house, whether or not OP should leave something there, etc. That’s not the point. It’s not like these are random family members. Have the same respect for OP and her possessions that you’re demanding she have for the cousin. They’re both permitted to use the place and leave things there, per house rules. Or do you people all just assume the rules aren’t ever meant for you?

100% this. the entitlement on this thread is disgusting. OP has every right to have the boogie board replaced.
and for those questioning the cost. my son has a $300 boogie board. Night and day compared to a $30 version.

It’s a boogie board FFS. People who pay that much for a GD boogie board, regardless of its alleged “performance “, and then complain about the cost to replace it are assholes.

OK. So if someone steals a Porsche, they should only pay the replacement value of a Toyota, because people who buy Porsches are assholes. Makes PERFECT sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it to DCUM to remind us yet again how entitled and disrespectful people are. What about basic respect for someone else’s property? If my child or my guest broke something, I would replace it, and I wouldn’t start out with some BS depreciation offer that I pulled outta my butt. Instead, the DCUM apologists go off on the cost of the boogie board, who owns the house, whether or not OP should leave something there, etc. That’s not the point. It’s not like these are random family members. Have the same respect for OP and her possessions that you’re demanding she have for the cousin. They’re both permitted to use the place and leave things there, per house rules. Or do you people all just assume the rules aren’t ever meant for you?

100% this. the entitlement on this thread is disgusting. OP has every right to have the boogie board replaced.
and for those questioning the cost. my son has a $300 boogie board. Night and day compared to a $30 version.

It’s a boogie board FFS. People who pay that much for a GD boogie board, regardless of its alleged “performance “, and then complain about the cost to replace it are assholes.

OK. So if someone steals a Porsche, they should only pay the replacement value of a Toyota, because people who buy Porsches are assholes. Makes PERFECT sense.

AND, more importantly, because the PP doesn’t like Porsches and thinks they are overpriced. So she’s gonna give a price that she’s willing to pay, and that’s it. Take it or leave it!

[Anonymous]

However this happened, and whatever the outcome is, I think that you need to stop leaving stuff at the beach house. As easy as it is to just leave it in a shed, you now have a broken (missing) board, and are out $275. Next time, bring your stuff home.

[Anonymous]

Some posters keep willfully ignoring that the OP did not put this in a communal area. The family including the cousin has a separate shed that’s sole purpose is to store things that are not to be shared without permission. Cousin knew this rule.

Now let’s think about what someone would put in the special non shareable shed. It wouldn’t be a 30 dollar boogie board. It would be either something very expensive or something very personal. For expensive this could be a higher end kayak, boogie board, surfboard, diving equipment and for personal it could be bathing suits, snorkeling gear, uncle Ernies jock straps etc.

The cousin knew it was expensive or he wouldn’t have been so interested in trying it out for performance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The families have an established procedure. They have a separate shed we’re families member place things that shouldn’t be shared. There is nothing rude or problematic about this.

Everyone respected this rule except the cousin who was tempted by the expensive board. Who knows maybe this cousin is a big jerk and just helps himself to the stuff he isn’t supposed to use all the time. He got caught and destroyed something that he shouldn’t have had anyway.

Not to mention, f my kid or guests kid destroyed something that was in the communal living area I would replace that item. This is a family home not an Airbnb with a security deposit.

.

+1 Cousin has been brought up by his mother to think he doesn’t have to play by the rules and is entitled to use other people’s property. Shameful.

You mean like this family feels entitled to stay free on property that’s not theirs? I guess it runs in the family.