In laws lifestyle 'hobby' vis a vis our children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so it sounds like your feelings are hurt and now you want to cut off your kids from your in-laws. So that is a very different kind of question. In general I find that lashing out at in-laws is a terrible, terrible idea that causes infinitely more problems than it resolves. By all means, don't say yes to every outing, but cutting them off completely sounds like a petty and spiteful move on your part.

+1. Does your husband participate? I am still not understanding how you have been excluded all these years. I think people could give you better advice if we knew what this activity is.

No, he hates it. Not enough people do this sport for them to give adequate advice. If only it were as simple as horseback riding or sailing. The croquet poster was closer.

Court tennis or fencing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jai alai. Am I right, OP?

Ugh. People being "snobby" about jai alai!?! Pathetic

[Anonymous]

Haha, she's basically admitted the sport, but you have to have read the thread.

Anyway, op, it sounds like you thought you could have a closer relationship with them, and now you realize the positioning that feels best for you. The big question, is how do you let your children have a healthy relationship with your grandparents, without enabling this wierd, condescending treatment to Marr all of that.

I think being armed with a therapists advice is not a bad idea. These people sound like a handful. Stay away from the activity, and be prepared for them to push back on other boundaries as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Can't believe where this thread has gone! I will answer a couple of things... but wow , people.

And NO, I am not actually mentioning the sport, because as others have noted, it is just too small a town.

I am trying not to read into these responses as they stand, but I feel sort of outed as it is. I don't need to create more problems via gossip around my already somewhat gossipy in laws. Argh.

I call bs. Tons of fox hunting around here as well as every other esoteric little sport hobby you could think of.
Fox hunting in this area is very friendly and casual

[Anonymous]

OP leaving you at the barn was way beyond. But any act of meanness from horse people is understandable to me. I went on a horse riding vacation with a friend and the petty bickering nearly ended the friendship. There is just something about horse people. But for me, that incident would have been the end. mental illness, social climbing, I don't care what the excuse was, it is beyond. One thing about trail riding is that sometimes (most of the time) you are out in the middle of nowhere. I am trying to imagine hiking out of some of the places I have been -- impossible.

[Anonymous]

From the way you're describing it there's no way I'd let them take my kids! How horrible to exclude you. But if you suck at this sport I understand if they don't want to bring you. Sorry. But then it doesn't really make sense to bring kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Can't believe where this thread has gone! I will answer a couple of things... but wow , people.

And NO, I am not actually mentioning the sport, because as others have noted, it is just too small a town.

I am trying not to read into these responses as they stand, but I feel sort of outed as it is. I don't need to create more problems via gossip around my already somewhat gossipy in laws. Argh.

I call bs. Tons of fox hunting around here as well as every other esoteric little sport hobby you could think of.
Fox hunting in this area is very friendly and casual

Apparently not with the parent's club. And i call bs on your assertion that it's so casual. Ha!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Horse trainer here. OP sounds like the reason I have a "shut up and ride" cap in my closet.

EXACTLY!!

[Anonymous]

I still fail to get how a snub from a mentally unstable sibling, which was never brought up to the parents and resulted in years of OP withdrawing from the activity, translates to the parents' responsibility. At this point I wonder if the parents ever knew about OP's history with riding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Horse trainer here. OP sounds like the reason I have a "shut up and ride" cap in my closet.

EXACTLY!!

Except the whole point of this forum is that you can ask strange or hard questions. You might get shifty advice but Point is, she's not asking you this in person and jabbering your ear off. You chose this thread. What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Can't believe where this thread has gone! I will answer a couple of things... but wow , people.

And NO, I am not actually mentioning the sport, because as others have noted, it is just too small a town.

I am trying not to read into these responses as they stand, but I feel sort of outed as it is. I don't need to create more problems via gossip around my already somewhat gossipy in laws. Argh.

I call bs. Tons of fox hunting around here as well as every other esoteric little sport hobby you could think of.
Fox hunting in this area is very friendly and casual

Apparently not with the parent's club. And i call bs on your assertion that it's so casual. Ha!!

Really ? Introduce yourself to anyone from the Goshen Hounds. Lovely , down to earth group of people who love to introduce newcomers to their sport.
And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, it really is fox chasing, not hunting. No foxes even necessary to have a great time in the outdoors with good people.

[Anonymous]

Yall dealing with some vicious b's, sounds like to me.

[Anonymous]

Fox hunting for the child who rides very occasionally? Still more bullshit. Even cubbing requires an independent seat, which means a solid rider, not an occasional Rock Creek up-downer. This is galloping and jumping, people.

OP I have to hand it to you. You found an audience who has no idea how implausible you are because they don't do this and you're fulfilling some need for attention.

Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I'm calling troll on the OP. All right-thinking horse people have a phone mounted somewhere in their barn. (Particularly if this happened a decade or more ago.) You need a way to call the vet, for the farrier to reach you when he gets a flat tire, and for -- God forbid -- the ambulance or fire department.

But just on the off chance that OP is for reals, I would remind her that she has forgotten the ultimate reverse-snobbery put-down of someone's abilities AND their resources: "[confused, regretful sigh] I don't know what happened. That horse was push-button when she bought him..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fox hunting for the child who rides very occasionally? Still more bullshit. Even cubbing requires an independent seat, which means a solid rider, not an occasional Rock Creek up-downer. This is galloping and jumping, people.

OP I have to hand it to you. You found an audience who has no idea how implausible you are because they don't do this and you're fulfilling some need for attention.

Bizarre.

Oh my goodness , thank you! I have been trying to phrase this exact response and you beat me to it. OP's statement that she might let her non-equestrian kids hunt occasionally was the final confirmation that this post is all theatrics. The weekend warrior stuff is fine for some of the scary adult riders out there but never for a child.