Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

Sorry, but you are wrong. I'm the nanny and most of the children I care for, are neglected by their parents. Just sharing my observations here.

Btw, of the handful of nannies I've known, all but one were complete idiots who I would never leave my children with. I would not, however, purport to generalize my limited anecdotes to all nannies, because that would make me an idiot.

That's why I said "most."
And most of the people you're referring to, are bimbo sitters,
not nannies, FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

Sorry, but you are wrong. I'm the nanny and most of the children I care for, are neglected by their parents. Just sharing my observations here.

Btw, of the handful of nannies I've known, all but one were complete idiots who I would never leave my children with. I would not, however, purport to generalize my limited anecdotes to all nannies, because that would make me an idiot.

That's why I said "most."
And most of the people you're referring to, are bimbo sitters,
not nannies, FYI.

After reading all your posts, I have a very unfavorable impression of you. Does that make you a bimbo sitter then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

Sorry, but you are wrong. I'm the nanny and most of the children I care for, are neglected by their parents. Just sharing my observations here.

Btw, of the handful of nannies I've known, all but one were complete idiots who I would never leave my children with. I would not, however, purport to generalize my limited anecdotes to all nannies, because that would make me an idiot.

That's why I said "most."
And most of the people you're referring to, are bimbo sitters,
not nannies, FYI.

Bimbo sitters? I'm assuming you meant babysitters but just failed to read what you typed before posting. Please learn to proof read.

And no, they were full time nannies. Now you're assuming I don't know the difference between a sitter and a nanny? Good God, your arrogance is breathtaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

Yep. I feel very sorry for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

Depends if the young children are getting cared for by someone who is competent, loving and stable. It's usually impossible to get stability if it's not a parent or other family member.

Enough with the mother vs. father!
It doesn't much matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

Depends if the young children are getting cared for by someone who is competent, loving and stable. It's usually impossible to get stability if it's not a parent or other family member.

Enough with the mother vs. father!
It doesn't much matter.

Thank you for this completely unsupported opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

With your attitudes, prejudices, and lack of understanding your children would be much better off if you weren't around to impart them full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

With your attitudes, prejudices, and lack of understanding your children would be much better off if you weren't around to impart them full time.

I'm honestly convinced most of these people are trolls. So hard to believe anyone actually thinks this way after 1955.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

Depends if the young children are getting cared for by someone who is competent, loving and stable. It's usually impossible to get stability if it's not a parent or other family member.

Enough with the mother vs. father!
It doesn't much matter.

Thank you for this completely unsupported opinion.

Which opinion don't you like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

They can't. These are mutually exclusive goals.

Depends if the young children are getting cared for by someone who is competent, loving and stable. It's usually impossible to get stability if it's not a parent or other family member.

Enough with the mother vs. father!
It doesn't much matter.

Thank you for this completely unsupported opinion.

Which opinion don't you like?

That you are de facto a bad mom if your kids are cared for during work hours by someone other than a parent or other family member. That's what you said, right? Good mom = stable environment, and stable environment = parent or family member. Ridiculous.

I know tons of kids who grew up going to day cares. Most are doing great. Some are not. I also know tons of people who grew up with SAHMs. Most are doing great, some are not. There is absolutely no difference. And also, many of the day care kids had much more "stable" home lives than some of the kids with SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the deal. The very existence of SAHMs makes working moms guilty. The very existence of working moms makes SAHMs guilty. Many commenters here have simply summarized their current situations, and then someone has come along and said "stop making me feel guilty." No one makes you feel anything. Your feelings originate in your own brain.

Yeah, I don't see a lot of WOHMs telling SAHMs they're doing it wrong. This "debate" seems to be WOHMs saying "Really, we're fine" and SAHMs saying "NO YOU'RE NOT!"

You've got to be joking. Read the entire thread, or read the Mommy Wars thread. Plenty of WOHMs trying to tell SAHMs that what they do is "pointless". And those are the most pathetic posts of all because the people writing them really do consider taking care of their own kids a "pointless" task.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

See, I've had exactly the opposite thought. When the daughters of all gheae these WOHMs grow up, they're not even going to consider SAH with their kids because their mothers will have ingrained in them, from Day 1, that successful women simply don't stay home with their kids. Instead, they pay other women (lesser beings, in their books), to do the actual childcare. And that is so sad, that these women will never have the support of their own mothers to raise their kids the way they choose, if that way includes staying home with them.

As a SAHM, I'm planning on supporting my daughter in any way I can, whether she chooses to be a WOHM or a SAHM, or any combination of the two. But I'll absolutely be teaching (and showing) her the value and importance of having a SAHP.

[Anonymous]

^^^^Please excuse typos. On my phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The saddest part about this thread is that some of the SAHMs who are so intent on making WOHM feel bad about themselves have daughters of their own, and will teach these daughters that they cannot both have a fulfilling career and be a good mom. Such a false choice. And when some of these daughters do try to maintain careers they've worked their entire lives for and also have children, these women will do their best make them feel awful about it.

See, I've had exactly the opposite thought. When the daughters of all gheae these WOHMs grow up, they're not even going to consider SAH with their kids because their mothers will have ingrained in them, from Day 1, that successful women simply don't stay home with their kids. Instead, they pay other women (lesser beings, in their books), to do the actual childcare. And that is so sad, that these women will never have the support of their own mothers to raise their kids the way they choose, if that way includes staying home with them.

As a SAHM, I'm planning on supporting my daughter in any way I can, whether she chooses to be a WOHM or a SAHM, or any combination of the two. But I'll absolutely be teaching (and showing) her the value and importance of having a SAHP.

Wow. Generalize much? How the hell do you know what SAH or WOH parents are teaching their kids??? I have multiple advanced degrees, and my kid recently said she wants to be a hair dresser. You know what I said? GREAT! That's a good job. You know what her second thing was that wanted to be? A mom. GREAT! If she wants to work or stay at home, it's none of my business. That's between her and her spouse, not me for crying out loud.