NCS and St. Albans misconduct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, girls should not be lady like? Ncs should not talk to girls about character ... Only sta? Obviously boys need to learn about character in HS, but so must girls.

Different poster. No one's saying NCS girls should not show character. The problem is that you seem to be pointing to the girls' character as a way to (1) justify the bad behavior of STA boys, and (2) change the subject from an examination of the STA boys' bad behavior.

No I don't. Other posters might. I believe both NCS and STA need to work on character building for their students. This issue is not only a boy issue. Girls are aggressive, boys are rude... Both need adults to guide them to show better character and to make better decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, girls should not be lady like? Ncs should not talk to girls about character ... Only sta? Obviously boys need to learn about character in HS, but so must girls.

Different poster. No one's saying NCS girls should not show character. The problem is that you seem to be pointing to the girls' character as a way to (1) justify the bad behavior of STA boys, and (2) change the subject from an examination of the STA boys' bad behavior.

No I don't. Other posters might. I believe both NCS and STA need to work on character building for their students. This issue is not only a boy issue. Girls are aggressive, boys are rude... Both need adults to guide them to show better character and to make better decisions.

Um.

Do you think that "aggressive" and "rude" are equivalent behavior problems? I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you only knew what your NCS daughter send my son through snapchat.

some of you NCS parents need to get real.

I'm not defending the STA boys whatsoever but its goes both ways.

Both male and female are making sexual advances towards one another. Whether its in a public setting or in a private setting or via social media (snap chatt, twitter, facebook, instagram etc. etc). Both partiees are at fault.

The allegations aren't about sexual advances they are that when girls expressed how they felt about unwanted sexual aggression they were demeaned by many boys. It would have been perfectly appropriate for a boy to say he has been victimized as well, if that's what you are getting at. But no boy appears to have done that. Instead they piled on.

What I do when my boys receive inappropriate picture or when my daughters friends post inappropriate pictures is contact the counselor at the girls school because we are made to believe that it will be handled as a character or self esteem issue not a disciplinary issue.

I am not sure why anybody would want to humiliate a teenager on a public forum during important formative years.

It is obvious some others agreed which is why the doc was taken down and now not available.

[Anonymous]

Actually, my daughter just told me that the STA boys are very sexually aggressive in and out of school.
When I mentioned the middle school dance behavior, she said when she was in middle school the NCS admins would have blamed the girls and punished them.

She then got very quiet. I did not push it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^The pants dance. All girls were asked to wear yoga pants. Some of the girls changed in bushes outside the school or on their way to the party.

Parents of girls and boys please check bags/backpacks for alcohol and inappropriate clothing.

Revealing unladylike inappropriate yoga pants? Really?

Yoga pants and leggings are both banned at NCS. They must see it as unladylike. It's ok to have a dress code. What I wonder is if the father who thinks its ok to insult girls who don't dress the way he likes- does he insult his wife when she runs errands in yoga pants? I have seen moms from both schools running around in yoga pants. Can we now call out slut when we see them at the grocery store? No . there is no excuse for the demeaning insulting actions of the boys or their fathers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are dances with " Ho" themes allowed by the school? That doesn't make sense.

STA parents: is this true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, girls should not be lady like? Ncs should not talk to girls about character ... Only sta? Obviously boys need to learn about character in HS, but so must girls.

Different poster. No one's saying NCS girls should not show character. The problem is that you seem to be pointing to the girls' character as a way to (1) justify the bad behavior of STA boys, and (2) change the subject from an examination of the STA boys' bad behavior.

No I don't. Other posters might. I believe both NCS and STA need to work on character building for their students. This issue is not only a boy issue. Girls are aggressive, boys are rude... Both need adults to guide them to show better character and to make better decisions.

Um.

Do you think that "aggressive" and "rude" are equivalent behavior problems? I don't.

Depends how aggressive and how rude.

Topless pictures trump rude.
Texting a boy so often he wants to lock his number is not as bad and I think it is rude to block the number, the boy can just ignore it until the fervor dies down. Plus the boy should not humiliate the girl for being aggressive she is young and needs to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, girls should not be lady like? Ncs should not talk to girls about character ... Only sta? Obviously boys need to learn about character in HS, but so must girls.

Different poster. No one's saying NCS girls should not show character. The problem is that you seem to be pointing to the girls' character as a way to (1) justify the bad behavior of STA boys, and (2) change the subject from an examination of the STA boys' bad behavior.

No I don't. Other posters might. I believe both NCS and STA need to work on character building for their students. This issue is not only a boy issue. Girls are aggressive, boys are rude... Both need adults to guide them to show better character and to make better decisions.

Um.

Do you think that "aggressive" and "rude" are equivalent behavior problems? I don't.

Depends how aggressive and how rude.

Topless pictures trump rude.
Texting a boy so often he wants to lock his number is not as bad and I think it is rude to block the number, the boy can just ignore it until the fervor dies down. Plus the boy should not humiliate the girl for being aggressive she is young and needs to learn.

My daughter was texted over 100 times by a StA boy one Saturday in the 8th grade. He asked her to the movies and she said ok but just as friends it's not a date. He said yes it is a date. That is aggressive weird creepy behavior and I did not let her go.

[Anonymous]

Read the story. Again, if you haven't already. http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/accounts-of-unwanted-sexual-advances-and-other-incidents-roil-two-private-schools/2014/12/22/9f7e786e-89f9-11e4-a085-34e9b9f09a58_story.html

Review the timeline and the facts.
Please stop speculating on the unknowns.

[Anonymous]

Isn't snap chat the pictures that disappear? I would not neccessarily believe a boy who claims this. It could be true but it could be a StA boy who wants to show off himself while bad mouthing an NCS girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends how aggressive and how rude.

Topless pictures trump rude.
Texting a boy so often he wants to lock his number is not as bad and I think it is rude to block the number, the boy can just ignore it until the fervor dies down. Plus the boy should not humiliate the girl for being aggressive she is young and needs to learn.

The NCS head of upper school wrote "of unwanted sexual advances at parties, of inappropriate sexual comments, and of sexual and social behaviors that our schools do not condone." Are you trying to categorize those behaviors are merely "rude"? Surely you'd agree that any STA boy engaging in such behavior ought to be disciplined severely, wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up boys did not throw insulting epithets at girls . That was something blue collar construction workers did. Now it's being excused at a private school. Things are getting worse, not better.

+1

When I was growing up, boys at school snapped girls' bra straps, slapped girls' behinds, and had pin-ups in their lockers, and everybody accepted this as boys being boys. Things are getting better, not worse.

They did not act that way at my private school. I think standards are slipping here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends how aggressive and how rude.

Topless pictures trump rude.
Texting a boy so often he wants to lock his number is not as bad and I think it is rude to block the number, the boy can just ignore it until the fervor dies down. Plus the boy should not humiliate the girl for being aggressive she is young and needs to learn.

The NCS head of upper school wrote "of unwanted sexual advances at parties, of inappropriate sexual comments, and of sexual and social behaviors that our schools do not condone." Are you trying to categorize those behaviors are merely "rude"? Surely you'd agree that any STA boy engaging in such behavior ought to be disciplined severely, wouldn't you?

It depends.

If a boy says to a girl nice tits that is rude.

If a girl flashes a boy and then he says nice tits... Well ... That is a different story.

What we do not have here is the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up boys did not throw insulting epithets at girls . That was something blue collar construction workers did. Now it's being excused at a private school. Things are getting worse, not better.

+1

When I was growing up, boys at school snapped girls' bra straps, slapped girls' behinds, and had pin-ups in their lockers, and everybody accepted this as boys being boys. Things are getting better, not worse.

They did not act that way at my private school. I think standards are slipping here.

Did you wear tank tops that don't have sides with just a bra? Or a lax penny with just a bra.

I agree the kids are slipping down a slippery slope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends how aggressive and how rude.

Topless pictures trump rude.
Texting a boy so often he wants to lock his number is not as bad and I think it is rude to block the number, the boy can just ignore it until the fervor dies down. Plus the boy should not humiliate the girl for being aggressive she is young and needs to learn.

The NCS head of upper school wrote "of unwanted sexual advances at parties, of inappropriate sexual comments, and of sexual and social behaviors that our schools do not condone." Are you trying to categorize those behaviors are merely "rude"? Surely you'd agree that any STA boy engaging in such behavior ought to be disciplined severely, wouldn't you?

It depends.

If a boy says to a girl nice tits that is rude.

If a girl flashes a boy and then he says nice tits... Well ... That is a different story.

What we do not have here is the whole story.

It appears you think that whatever the NCS girls were discussing in this google doc, it could only be classified as "rude" behavior by STA boys at worst (your first example), or not-quite-rude if you think it was instigated by the girl (your second example). Is that really what you're saying? Do you even allow for the possibility it might have described something more severe than merely "rude" behavior by the STA boys? If not, I think you may have a blind spot.