Do you wish you had your children younger

[Anonymous]

Younger moms need to realize the workplace in 1995 when I entered is much different than it is today in 2012. I am a Fed and none of the flexibiility or telework was available back then. Flash forward to when I had my first child in 2005---I WAH 100% on a flex scheudlce--any hours M-Sat btwn 5:30am-10pm. This allowed me to stay full-time in a job while being physically around my kids to a degree I felt comfortable.

I do think women are beginning to have kids younger directly as a result of family-friendly policies over the past 10 years. So--instead of being young b*tches---you can thank the old b+tches for lobbying to get you these perks. I was one of the committee members that made this happen at my agency.

Applause, applause. And my DH wouldn't have dreamed of using paternity leave in 1994 even if it had been available, but he used the full 13 days offered in 2001.

Thank you, thank you! End of story. Now let's get back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who needs an MBA to be a mother?

Maybe some 40 year old nuerotic with a child care manual in the armpit
You really do look ridiculous when you read and do everything according to the manual

Do you ever have the energy to take the kids to the park to play and kick a ball with them?[/quote]

sure

At 45, I leave work at 11. (I work PT.), take an hour-long walk, and then pick up my 3 yo from preschool. We either go to the playground at my daughter's school, take a walk around the neighborhood or I have him jump around in our moon bounce. Then we pick up my daughter and either stay at the playground a little longer or head home to ride bikes if the weather is nice.

Sweetie, we WROTE the manuals, btw. So there's no need for us to read them.

[Anonymous]

21:44PP - I'm the one that posted that. It's totally cool that you chose to wait to have kids - nothing wrong with doing that. Some of the earlier posters on this thread seem kind of gleeful at the idea that there are women who waited on purpose for what they consider shallow reasons (like building a good relationship with the spouse and getting a career in order or just feeling more ready) because some of those women then had trouble conceiving. I dislike the idea that everyone should fit one mold (whether it's have kids early or have kids late) and feel bad about whatever choice they made.

My post was more about my own personal circle - which is large. I don't know many people who waited very long to have kids once they met their husband, unless they met him very young. The only couples I know who waited more than a few years after marriage did so because of issues conceiving or circumstances that made starting a family undesirable. I was pointing out that for some of us, the choice to have babies later was made for us, because we didn't meet the guy until later, but that most of us manage to be fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of all you old bitches acting like anyone under age 40 is incompetent as a mother. Jesus Christ. I don't care that your hair looks like shit, I don't care that you now have three asses instead of one, I care that you sneer at me because even though our kids are the same age, I'm under 30 and you think that makes me a piece of white trash.

Point taken. So where DID you get your MBA, and how DID you manage to get that and have a career while still having two kids by age 25?

New poster, here, but HUH? I have a MA in economics from Georgetown and had two children before my 30th birthday. I actually finished my masters program when my first was 4 months old. I'm still a FT working mom. Having children at a "young" age has not at all hurt or held back my carrer as women like to zealously imply here. We are living in the new Millennium and I can have my cake and eat it too!

Please take a step back from the early 80s.

Oh really? Do you make a lot of money?

What's alot? My W2 was 142K this year.

I would say that I'm pretty comfortable with a combined HHI over 300K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what we younger Moms need to understand is that most Moms over 40 wished they'd had their kids earlier. They can spin it however they want (career, travel, etc), but the fact is that some of them envy younger Moms their youth. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting it.

While having a great career and being financially comfortable is wonderful, not all 40+ Moms are rolling in the dough. In fact, many are probably living paycheck to paycheck like a lot of other folks. To assume that most older Moms are these accomplished women who are world travelers with hundreds of thousands in the bank is absurd.

Then there are moms who had all their kids in their 20s who are now almost 40 and still don't have any idea what they want to do with their lives. I had my kids at 34 and 36, by the way, so I have no personal dog in this fight.

Why do you assume that most women want high-powered careers? I don't, BUT if I do, I'd much rather do it later when my kids are out of the home rather than trying to do it while shuffling child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who needs an MBA to be a mother?

Maybe some 40 year old nuerotic with a child care manual in the armpit
You really do look ridiculous when you read and do everything according to the manual

Do you ever have the energy to take the kids to the park to play and kick a ball with them?

sure

At 45, I leave work at 11. (I work PT.), take an hour-long walk, and then pick up my 3 yo from preschool. We either go to the playground at my daughter's school, take a walk around the neighborhood or I have him jump around in our moon bounce. Then we pick up my daughter and either stay at the playground a little longer or head home to ride bikes if the weather is nice.

Sweetie, we WROTE the manuals, btw. So there's no need for us to read them.

You wrote the manual, yet you've not yet learned how to master properly quoting someone. Based on the many posts in the General Parenting forum, there are plenty of clueless 40+ Moms in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what we younger Moms need to understand is that most Moms over 40 wished they'd had their kids earlier. They can spin it however they want (career, travel, etc), but the fact is that some of them envy younger Moms their youth. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting it.

While having a great career and being financially comfortable is wonderful, not all 40+ Moms are rolling in the dough. In fact, many are probably living paycheck to paycheck like a lot of other folks. To assume that most older Moms are these accomplished women who are world travelers with hundreds of thousands in the bank is absurd.

Me too. It was a choice. Younger moms need to realize the workplace in 1995 when I entered is much different than it is today in 2012. I am a FEd and none of the flexibiility or telework was available back then. Flash forward to when I had my first child in 2005---I WAH 100% on a flex scheudlce--any hours M-Sat btwn 5:30am-10pm. This allowed me to stay full-time in a job while being physically around my kids to a degree I felt comfortable.

I do think women are beginning to have kids younger directly as a result of family-friendly policies over the past 10 years. So--instead of being young b*tches---you can thank the old b+tches for lobbying to get you these perks. I was one of the committee members that made this happen at my agency.

I don't work at your agency, so I don't owe you any applause. You should probably ask for thanks from the 40+ Moms who are bragging about putting in time in order to now work a flexible schedule.

Oh...and where is your proof that these changes came about because of 40+ Moms? I can almost guarantee you that you're wrong. 40+ Moms are a new craze.

[Anonymous]

there was a cnn special on this. Crazy New York woman froze her eggs and is pushing 40 hasn't even found a husband yet.

[Anonymous]

What is crazy about that? I am TTC as a single 40plus person w/ no luck so far. Wish I had frozen my eggs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is crazy about that? I am TTC as a single 40plus person w/ no luck so far. Wish I had frozen my eggs.

You are trying to be an elderly single mom? Hope you make millions to handle that

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 26 and third at 31. I feel like it was exactly the wrong timing! My parents had kids young. I was the youngest of three and my mom was 23 when I was born. DH was 34 when our first was born. so, DH had his 20s to spend money, travel, build his career. My parents were empty-nesters when they were in their 40s, so they were still young and energetic for many years and had the time of their lives. As for me, I had just started out in my career when I quit working to stay home with my kids. by the time we get our kids through college, I will be in my mid 50s. Also, this sounds stupid, but DH being older than me makes me feel older somehow. I'm 37, but I feel like I'm 44 by marriage! Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what we younger Moms need to understand is that most Moms over 40 wished they'd had their kids earlier. They can spin it however they want (career, travel, etc), but the fact is that some of them envy younger Moms their youth. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting it.

While having a great career and being financially comfortable is wonderful, not all 40+ Moms are rolling in the dough. In fact, many are probably living paycheck to paycheck like a lot of other folks. To assume that most older Moms are these accomplished women who are world travelers with hundreds of thousands in the bank is absurd.

Me too. It was a choice. Younger moms need to realize the workplace in 1995 when I entered is much different than it is today in 2012. I am a FEd and none of the flexibiility or telework was available back then. Flash forward to when I had my first child in 2005---I WAH 100% on a flex scheudlce--any hours M-Sat btwn 5:30am-10pm. This allowed me to stay full-time in a job while being physically around my kids to a degree I felt comfortable.

I do think women are beginning to have kids younger directly as a result of family-friendly policies over the past 10 years. So--instead of being young b*tches---you can thank the old b+tches for lobbying to get you these perks. I was one of the committee members that made this happen at my agency.

I don't work at your agency, so I don't owe you any applause. You should probably ask for thanks from the 40+ Moms who are bragging about putting in time in order to now work a flexible schedule.

Oh...and where is your proof that these changes came about because of 40+ Moms? I can almost guarantee you that you're wrong. 40+ Moms are a new craze.

True that, definitly a new trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is crazy about that? I am TTC as a single 40plus person w/ no luck so far. Wish I had frozen my eggs.

Why did you wait until 40+? Why not 35? I hope you have a strong support system in place. While none of us are promised tomorrow, I think you're being a bit unfair to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what we younger Moms need to understand is that most Moms over 40 wished they'd had their kids earlier. They can spin it however they want (career, travel, etc), but the fact is that some of them envy younger Moms their youth. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting it.

While having a great career and being financially comfortable is wonderful, not all 40+ Moms are rolling in the dough. In fact, many are probably living paycheck to paycheck like a lot of other folks. To assume that most older Moms are these accomplished women who are world travelers with hundreds of thousands in the bank is absurd.

Me too. It was a choice. Younger moms need to realize the workplace in 1995 when I entered is much different than it is today in 2012. I am a FEd and none of the flexibiility or telework was available back then. Flash forward to when I had my first child in 2005---I WAH 100% on a flex scheudlce--any hours M-Sat btwn 5:30am-10pm. This allowed me to stay full-time in a job while being physically around my kids to a degree I felt comfortable.

I do think women are beginning to have kids younger directly as a result of family-friendly policies over the past 10 years. So--instead of being young b*tches---you can thank the old b+tches for lobbying to get you these perks. I was one of the committee members that made this happen at my agency.

I don't work at your agency, so I don't owe you any applause. You should probably ask for thanks from the 40+ Moms who are bragging about putting in time in order to now work a flexible schedule.

Oh...and where is your proof that these changes came about because of 40+ Moms? I can almost guarantee you that you're wrong. 40+ Moms are a new craze.

True that, definitly a new trend.

Right along with the explosion of "special needs" kids and helicopter parents. 40+ parents are like grandparents...they spoil the children and are entirely too overprotective. But...in small doses, it's great. Only problem is...they are the parents and so the kids are constantly exposed to this over the top parenting style. No wonder young adults are same damn useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what we younger Moms need to understand is that most Moms over 40 wished they'd had their kids earlier. They can spin it however they want (career, travel, etc), but the fact is that some of them envy younger Moms their youth. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting it.

While having a great career and being financially comfortable is wonderful, not all 40+ Moms are rolling in the dough. In fact, many are probably living paycheck to paycheck like a lot of other folks. To assume that most older Moms are these accomplished women who are world travelers with hundreds of thousands in the bank is absurd.

Me too. It was a choice. Younger moms need to realize the workplace in 1995 when I entered is much different than it is today in 2012. I am a FEd and none of the flexibiility or telework was available back then. Flash forward to when I had my first child in 2005---I WAH 100% on a flex scheudlce--any hours M-Sat btwn 5:30am-10pm. This allowed me to stay full-time in a job while being physically around my kids to a degree I felt comfortable.

I do think women are beginning to have kids younger directly as a result of family-friendly policies over the past 10 years. So--instead of being young b*tches---you can thank the old b+tches for lobbying to get you these perks. I was one of the committee members that made this happen at my agency.

I don't work at your agency, so I don't owe you any applause. You should probably ask for thanks from the 40+ Moms who are bragging about putting in time in order to now work a flexible schedule.

Oh...and where is your proof that these changes came about because of 40+ Moms? I can almost guarantee you that you're wrong. 40+ Moms are a new craze.

True that, definitly a new trend.

Right along with the explosion of "special needs" kids and helicopter parents. 40+ parents are like grandparents...they spoil the children and are entirely too overprotective. But...in small doses, it's great. Only problem is...they are the parents and so the kids are constantly exposed to this over the top parenting style. No wonder young adults are same damn useless.

At least their kids can push their wheel chairs