Do you wish you had your children younger

[Anonymous]

I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. Had my children at 15, 19, 21 & 28. I'm 31 and my oldest is 16.

It's definitely a challenge and being a young family has its ups and downs (financially comfortable, but I have a job more so than I do a career and I could probably stand to be a bit more patient).

In the long run, my husband and I will be 46/48 when the house empties. I do kind of wish I'd had my youngest earlier (even though she was a surprise)! I would've been home free before 40!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, especially when I see the inane things that young parents do.

Was wondering when someone would make this a "young parents are incompetent" issue. Why are young parents fair game while older parents are to be respected for their choices?

[Anonymous]

PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, you know 15 is below the age of consent, right? In many jurisdictions (including DC) that would be statutory rape. How do you discuss this with your kids?

What is your point? My husband and I have now been married for 10 years; we've been together since I was 13. Should I call the police and have him arrested now?

I teach my children the same thing that you hopefully teach yours: to abstain from sex until they are married/in a committed relationship.

[Anonymous]

Mom @ 15: I totally respect your position. But I admit that I have used the statutory rape legal argument with my just turned 18 yo son (when discussing his relationship with his 16 yo girlfriend).

[Anonymous]

Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.

[Anonymous]

Back on topic: If I could have everything I have now, but just be younger, yes. I am 45 with a 6 year old and a 5 month old. At 38 with my first, it wasn't so bad. At 45 with my second, everything hurts, and I am pretty fit.

That being said, DH is 50 and he and I still run around chasing the 6 y.o. and playing. They do keep you young.

DH will be 69 and I'll be 63 when no. 2 graduates from high school. 73 and 67 when she gets out of college. Then we'll travel the world (oh, wait, we did that before kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.

You must have met your mate young. I didn't and I am grateful to have kids at my age. It isn't about being selfish sometimes, it's about making a family with the right mate.

[Anonymous]

Correction, no, "young parents are incompetent".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.

This is what I am concerned about as well, I am never see my grandchildren and may need to kids to take care of me just when they just start having kids of their own. In contrast my mom is 59 and is having a blast with her grandkids (7 and 2). Do I regret the years spent living the life of a jetsetting singleton - not yet, but I may. We shall she. At least my two girls will be rich so I guess it was not all for nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom @ 15: I totally respect your position. But I admit that I have used the statutory rape legal argument with my just turned 18 yo son (when discussing his relationship with his 16 yo girlfriend).

Very interesting. My husband is two years older and we honestly never had this discussion nor did I ever have this conversation with my parents. I guess because it didn't apply until I was 16 and by that point, we'd had a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back on topic: If I could have everything I have now, but just be younger, yes. I am 45 with a 6 year old and a 5 month old. At 38 with my first, it wasn't so bad. At 45 with my second, everything hurts, and I am pretty fit.

That being said, DH is 50 and he and I still run around chasing the 6 y.o. and playing. They do keep you young.

DH will be 69 and I'll be 63 when no. 2 graduates from high school. 73 and 67 when she gets out of college. Then we'll travel the world (oh, wait, we did that before kids).

If you're alive then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom @ 15: I totally respect your position. But I admit that I have used the statutory rape legal argument with my just turned 18 yo son (when discussing his relationship with his 16 yo girlfriend).

Very interesting. My husband is two years older and we honestly never had this discussion nor did I ever have this conversation with my parents. I guess because it didn't apply until I was 16 and by that point, we'd had a child.

Not getting this part. BTW while the two year age gap took him out of that statutory rape category it did not take him out of second degree rape because you were under 14 at the time. Anyway, I think that we can all agree that this is not a moot point.

Just curious (I have two daughters) what was your living arrangement between the time of your first child and the time you got married and how did your parents react to the "surprise" grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it gets a little old hearing people talk about how they needed to live their lives before having a kid at 40. You will likely die before your child is finished needing you, and not really get to have much of an experience with grandchildren. Kinda selfish to keep saying me, me, me, I traveled!! Think it, fine, but no one is impressed. You should be less worried about your energy level than the fact that you will probably miss out on a lot of DC's life, and may saddle the kid with an aging parent while he/she has young children. Just sayin', save the "I lived, and that's what's important" crap.

I had just turned 31 with my first and I will have just turned 35 when my second arrives. There is no way I was ready for marriage or children any earlier. I met DH when I was 26 and we got married when I was 29. I needed to work on some issues that I had stemming from my youth before I could settle down and be a wife/mother myself.

For what it's worth, my mother had me when she was 25 and she was youthful and vibrant going into her 50's. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with cancer and passed away at 57. Just because she was a young mother, does not mean she got to enjoy be a grandparent and she passed away when I still needed her. I wish I had the chance to help care for her in her old age.

[Anonymous]

too many self centered career women who don't realize their eggs are rotting away and their health.