Do you wish you had your children younger
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Anonymous
| I was reading the "how do you see yourself when you are elderly" thread and it just dawned on me that I will be 58 when you youngest child hits 18 (goes off to college). If they follow my lead in terms of when they have children I will be 70 before I see a grandchild. I am already having a hard time dealing with a 2yo - not becasue of low energy or anything like that - I just dont want to be bothered with the usual toddler drama. I am hoping its just a phase but I really wish that my kids were teenagers already - why did I wait so long. |
Anonymous
No. I had my DD when I was 28, and I wish we'd waited (she wasn't planned). I feel like we've been digging out of a financial hole ever since; I had her right after finishing grad school, and trying to afford child care while establishing a career sucked. We've always wanted more than one child, and we still can't really afford another one, and I'm closing in on 35. I guess the grass is always greener? 
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Anonymous
| Not me..had my time to career..saw the world..met the man i wouldn't have considered inmy twenties as he wouldn't have been wild enough for me haha..changed in who I was..hopefully for the better..then the kids. I feel fulfilled in a way I wouldn't if I had them younger (for me). Kids are tiring when they are young. Had my last at 40 and the first three years were tough but now having the youungest almost 4..not so hard and so much fun! Fwiw..don't look backwards..be in the present and you will find your joy. |
Anonymous
No! I was mid 30s when I had my first. Plenty of time to have lived life, plenty young to enjoy the kids 
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Anonymous
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I didn't have my child until almost 40. I wanted to be in a stable marriage before having a child, and it took me that long to find a great partner. Sure, I would have liked to have had a child earlier, but it didn't happen.
I don't focus on age so much as health. It's much easier that way. 
Not so long ago, people couldn't control when they had babies. It's a new privilege that we have and sometimes I think we focus too much on what would be ideal or not. Just stay healthy to the best of your abilities. The energy will flow from there. |
Anonymous
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Yes, but only sliightly. Wish I had had both of them while still in my 20s, had #1 at 28 and #2 at 32. Wish I had done 25 and 27 for the exact reasons OP states.
its great and all to live your life and have buckets of money, but I have a young mom and she sure is living it up in her 50s, traveling the world and when she is back in the states has a busy tennis and golf schedule. I love the fact that she is very involved in my children's lives and will be around for many years to come. |
Anonymous
Same ages, different story. Ours was planned at 28, but we waited until she was 4 to start trying for #2 for multiple reasons. Now, after almost 2 years, we are in the middle of fertility testing. I'd like a second, but we may not be able to have one. Wish we had been able to start trying for #2 earlier, but life doesn't always work out perfectly. So, we are looking probably at fertility treatments or adoption (and my heart isn't really in treatments since one of the main culprits for possible infertility is the number pregnancy did on my body the first time around, leaving me with an autoimmune disease). We also would have to cut back on any kind of savings in order to afford daycare. ACK! |
Anonymous
| yes, we were physically designed to have kids ages 20-23. Anything older is going to be much harder on ourselves. Granted more money does help it still takes a physical toll. Thats why we have nannies in their 20s |
Anonymous
No, don't think of it like that! Get out there with the kids and run around! It keeps you young! |
Anonymous
I'm sorry, but it IS exhausting to have children when you are older, I know this from experience. I'm slim and very fit and its no joke. |
Anonymous
| Yes, but just a couple of years younger. I was 33 (almost 34) with the first and we are now working on #2. Even if I get pregnant today, I will be 36 with the second. I would probably like to have more space in between the two kids but want to start sooner rather than later. Who knows, I may have more time than I want between the two. I wish I would have started closer to 30 but I chose to go to grad school instead. In retrospect, I would have gone to grad school a few years earlier but was never in a job at that point that allowed a flexible enough schedule to do it. |
Anonymous
Sorry about that. I'm a PP who had my kid at 40. I love it. I get to play sports all over again, camp out, hike, swim in lakes, etc. Way more fun that just going to the gym, which is what I used to do. |
Anonymous
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In relation to me - No. I was an idiot who didn't have my shit together at all. But I had some fun.
In theory, yes. But in theory I would've been mature and financially able to handle it as well. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely. Which is not to say that I could have done so -- didn't meet DH until I was 28, married at 29, had DCs at 31, 33, and 35. But in an ideal world, would I have married and had kids starting in my early to mid 20s? Yes. My parents were 25 and 27 when I was born and they are starting to decline physically already such that they can't do all the things with their grandchildren that my mom's parents did. Too many years between generations is for the birds! I may not even get to see my grandchildren if my DCs follow my pattern and that SUCKS. |
Anonymous
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No. I couldn't imagine having an empty nest at 45. A lot of marriages break up at this point. I figure by the time our kids are out of the house we'll be too old to want to find a new model.
I had mine at 35 and 1 day after I turned 38. We traveled and lived abroad extensively in the 10 years we were together prior to having them. I definitely know that I couldn't handle one after 40 though. The age I had them was the perfect age in my career (terms of flexibility and seniority) and life with DH (ready for more mellow, kid-centric time). |