SAHMs - what made you decide to SAH? Question from new SAHM

[Anonymous]

Working blows. Stay home if you can

[Anonymous]

12:41, your idea of how this thread should have gone is that SAHMs would post, "I decided to stay home so little Johnny and Janey would turn out better than if I WOH," and WOHMs wouldn't participate?

Really?

[Anonymous]

12:44, I hope all my SAHM friends aren't secretly this illogical and close minded to other family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Lesson Learned - Teachers are crappy writers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:41, your idea of how this thread should have gone is that SAHMs would post, "I decided to stay home so little Johnny and Janey would turn out better than if I WOH," and WOHMs wouldn't participate?

Really?

Work outside turned work at home part time here:

Really.

Because what some stranger says on a forum doesn't matter at all. What you know and what you are living matters. You would not like these people if you met them (if you were both honest) and they would probably not like you (if you were honest).

We don't need to prove to one another that we are just as good. That's a good thing because there is no way we could prove it.

This thread is interesting, amusing, and scary but it doesn't upset me because strangers' opinions don't matter to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:41, your idea of how this thread should have gone is that SAHMs would post, "I decided to stay home so little Johnny and Janey would turn out better than if I WOH," and WOHMs wouldn't participate?

Really?

All I know is that when I read "SAHM are naive leeches who have no skills and will be totally screwed when (not if) their husbands leave them," I don't participate. (And I haven't in the nonsensical back and forth on this thread, either.) I also don't participate when people ask why others chose to go back to work, and I don't read a personal attack into something as benign as "because I thought it would be better for my kids," which is where all the hullabaloo started on this thread.

[Anonymous]

PP, if I can open just one new SAHM's mind to the possibility that working and parenting is not impossible or even unpleasant, it's worth it. I don't believe there's a SAHM type and a WOHM type.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't anyone SAH just because they haven't found work they'd like to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, if I can open just one new SAHM's mind to the possibility that working and parenting is not impossible or even unpleasant, it's worth it. I don't believe there's a SAHM type and a WOHM type.

I love the condescension that SAHMs must be close-minded, therefore you are doing them some sort of community service.

I've done both SAHM and WOHM, seen the good and the bad of both. And I have met people in BOTH worlds who can be quite myopic about the running of other people's affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, if I can open just one new SAHM's mind to the possibility that working and parenting is not impossible or even unpleasant, it's worth it. I don't believe there's a SAHM type and a WOHM type.

Every woman I know (in person) knows this, from personal experience or from observing others. I fail to see how anything actually on this thread that is substantively about working and parenting or that is from a working parent would impact someone who didn't already see that this is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, if I can open just one new SAHM's mind to the possibility that working and parenting is not impossible or even unpleasant, it's worth it. I don't believe there's a SAHM type and a WOHM type.

I love the condescension that SAHMs must be close-minded, therefore you are doing them some sort of community service.

I've done both SAHM and WOHM, seen the good and the bad of both. And I have met people in BOTH worlds who can be quite myopic about the running of other people's affairs.

Weren't you paying attention? Saying anything other than "I couldn't afford daycare" is apparently illogical and close-minded.

[Anonymous]

I stay home because I can, and because of the sheer joy I feel spending so much time with my little girls. They are 1 and 3. I do not care if staying home with them confers some type of "benefit" or not...I do it because I can, and I love it. They are a joy when all is said and done and I love that I have so much time to experience them and so much time to make wonderful memories with them. It is for them, and for me. My DH does not work long hours and he is fabulous with his children. He works and I SAH because he makes more in his field and one of us has to work. My children will see me work in the future, but my personal opinion is that if SAH is a choice and not something that a person is forced into due to circumstance then choosing to stay home to take care of your children shouldn't be viewed as a bad example. I know you can't please all the people all the time though, so if some of you think I'm setting a bad example, I can live with that. We'd probably disagree about other stuff too, and that's life.

My consolation if someone judges me harshly for whatever reason about SAH are my little girls. There they are and I can hug 'em and love on 'em and play with them all day and that's what really matters to me, not what anyone else (other than DH obviously) thinks.

Cheers to all of you!

[Anonymous]

13:24, enjoy your little girls and your time at home with them.

I'm one of those weird moms who did SAH and didn't enjoy it. I think if you can afford to SAH and you enjoy it, go for it! Life is short, if you have a choice, do what suits your family. I have no idea if my working is helping or hurting my kids, but it's what I want to do, so I choose to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"It seems a lot of this is coming from bored SAHMs who need to justify their decisions? Why not just live your lives and be happy with your choices? "

I'm shocked to learn how many ignorant teachers there are.

How is a teacher ignorant if they happen to notice that their better performing students have sahms?

Ignorant that their anecdotal experience is just that. Ignorant that the majority of studies show that income and educational levels are more important than SAH vs WOTH.

Assuming that two families have similar income and educational levels. Does it really seem out there to suspect that the family that has a sahm -someone who has chosen to make her child's well-being her career, might have an edge in having a high achieving kid?

Yes, it does seem out there. It would never occur to me to think that - I guess because I have never seen any evidence that children of SAHMs achieve more than children of WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Why are you moms so terrible to each other?