What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

I remember going into a neighbor’s basement for unstructured play and he proceeded to introduce us fellow 1st graders to strip poker. I got my socks off and then hightailed it out of there. So much for that!

I'm very sorry that happened to you, but i don't think thats typical

Yes, its more typical than not, especially with kids who aren't supervised and exposed to things they shouldn't be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

What you don’t seem to realize that kids with siblings have plenty of unstructured play in their own homes all the time. They don’t need to seek it out. Nobody anywhere is saying kids don’t play or their parents don’t let them it just looks different than you expect.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:To the folks that highly value unstructured kid-led playtime (I think it's important too!), but have been disappointed that kids are not outside roaming the neighborhood for your kid to play with, what have you done from there? Just given up and your unscheduled kid plays alone every day? Have you texted parents of classmates and their friends and asked them for a playdate? (Do your kids have friends?) Invite them over -- I don't believe you that no one has time for some playdates. My kids do lots of activities and so do most of their friends (we like it this way, thanks) and we arrange playdates all the time. My kids have several a week. Surely you have the bandwidth to do this since you are not dealing with EC activities. You could even also sign them up for a few afternoons of school aftercare (I'm not even kidding) -- it's typically just unstructured playtime.

Aftercare at school is not the same thing at all. School has rules and guidance for what kids do and how. At our school, the paras yell at kids for climbing up the slide instead of sliding down. Very different from 2 or 3 kids tooling around outside unsupervised and having to think, argue, cooperate, decide, keep track of time, etc.

Also, jeez, don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. My point is that there are plenty of way to get your kid unstructured playtime even if you don't have some idyllic neighborhood that you have created in your head and even if it doesn't look precisely how you describe.

That is my point. You seem to think my desire to have kids play together on their own is some weird, old fashioned ideal. Um it’s the easiest thing to do. You let two kids of a similar age outside in the yard and let them play. It’s just hard for me to do as the parent of an only child in a town full of extremely scheduled young children. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with aftercare. Im saying that doesn’t address the issue at hand.

It’s not hard to put your kid in an activity or two. If you can post here you clearly have free time. My only should not do activities just to be your child’s playmate because you refuse for your kid. My parents refused me activities and they were super selfish. I’m not doing that to my child.

It's not that easy for some ppl to just put their kids in activity or two. I'm sorr y your parents refused you, maybe they had reasons, beyond they were selfish. Maybe not all kids want to be in activities

Why isn't it? Most counties and DC have low-income waivers. If you were willing, you'd find a way. Not all kids do, but the parents here haven't even tried them and are bashing other parents for having their kids in activities to justify not having them in activities and bragging about unsupervised play dates for young kids...speaks volumes.

And if there are ways around certain obstacles that let kids play sports, great, but for some its not aa easy as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

What you don’t seem to realize that kids with siblings have plenty of unstructured play in their own homes all the time. They don’t need to seek it out. Nobody anywhere is saying kids don’t play or their parents don’t let them it just looks different than you expect.

The comment that this was referring to literally said unstructured play is overrated. It said nothing about there being different kinds of unstructured play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

What you don’t seem to realize that kids with siblings have plenty of unstructured play in their own homes all the time. They don’t need to seek it out. Nobody anywhere is saying kids don’t play or their parents don’t let them it just looks different than you expect.

The comment that this was referring to literally said unstructured play is overrated. It said nothing about there being different kinds of unstructured play.

But the premise is kids who are scheduled have no time for play. That’s obviously not true. They are playing at home all the time.

[Anonymous]

Your assumptions about playing at home, whether true or not, have nothing to do with how the studies were conducted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your assumptions about playing at home, whether true or not, have nothing to do with how the studies were conducted.

Sure they do. Never once do they specify that this play can only be with unrelated peers in other backyards and basements. Play is play. The point was that parents don’t hover in this play. That happens all the time in a home with siblngs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught in a UMC area a few years ago and when kids are constantly in motion and have activities provided to them all of the time, they become anxious/uneasy when there is down time. “What do I do know?” They couldn’t sit and draw or read for a few minutes in between classes. They would ask that question repeatedly. Any kind of downtime was a problem that they wanted an adult to solve.

What age were you expecting kids to sit and read between classes?

I taught 4th and 5th graders. By that age, kids should be able to sit quietly and read or draw for 5-10 minutes.

I can see why you are no longer a teacher.

I can see you know nothing about child development

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught in a UMC area a few years ago and when kids are constantly in motion and have activities provided to them all of the time, they become anxious/uneasy when there is down time. “What do I do know?” They couldn’t sit and draw or read for a few minutes in between classes. They would ask that question repeatedly. Any kind of downtime was a problem that they wanted an adult to solve.

What age were you expecting kids to sit and read between classes?

I taught 4th and 5th graders. By that age, kids should be able to sit quietly and read or draw for 5-10 minutes.

I can see why you are no longer a teacher.

I can see you know nothing about child development

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught in a UMC area a few years ago and when kids are constantly in motion and have activities provided to them all of the time, they become anxious/uneasy when there is down time. “What do I do know?” They couldn’t sit and draw or read for a few minutes in between classes. They would ask that question repeatedly. Any kind of downtime was a problem that they wanted an adult to solve.

What age were you expecting kids to sit and read between classes?

I taught 4th and 5th graders. By that age, kids should be able to sit quietly and read or draw for 5-10 minutes.

I can see why you are no longer a teacher.

I can see you know nothing about child development

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

Everyone knows their own kids better than a stranger with a psych degree. The problem with statistics based parenting (which some ppl erroneously call "science based parenting) is that statistics about what the average child benefits from on average have no bearing on what your specific child will benefit from in a specific instance.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

Nine year olds are in 4th grade -- which is when orchestra and band often starts in most elementary schools. What's wrong with a 4th grader learning to play an instrument?

Anyways, my middle schooler plays the flute and two sports (in different seasons), and she and her friends love riding their bikes to the playground and hanging out. I love all of it for it. You would see them there plenty.