Why would he be in a random parking lot?

[Anonymous]

Would you rather him rush home? Say hi and then head out to the gym for 2 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is reason to suspect your spouse is cheating -- tracking them is hovering too much. No detail about family life should be sooo important that tracking them becomes normal. Who cares what he's doing? Not your business. He should never have to tell you. He/She doesn't need to justify it.

You people sound like you have trust issues/something you don't want discovered. My husband's car has an app, which we both have (you use the app/your phone as the key). On the app it tells you where the car is. I have looked to see how long it'll be until he is home. I'm not zooming in on his location or checking to make sure he's taking the route I would have taken to get home. It's information. And since he's not cheating, why would he care that I could tell where he was? I wouldn't care if he looked on the app while I was out. Because we have nothing to hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my husband to do this on his way home. He literally pulls over into a parking lot and watches movies to wind down from his day. He comes home so much calmer.

What kind of movies would have him coming home "so much calmer?" Serious question. Can't they watch movies at home?

DP. Do you not understand, PP? Being at home is part of the problem, when one is trying to decompress between work and home. Hard to watch movies as a calming break, if kids are coming in and wanting attention, or spouse is asking questions about household things, etc. That is why "Can't they watch movies at home?" is unhelpful. Home itself is a reason for the need to decompress, sometimes, for some people. And that's OK, if watching movies in the car for a while helps a person walk in the front door at home calmer and more relaxed, and readier to deal with the kids, dinner, questions, etc.

Ok let’s call a spade a spade.

Having out yourself for 30-60 minutes when you have household, children, meal, planning responsibilities is exactly what it is: Dodging responsibilities

Now, if you have autism and are constantly overwhelmed and fatigued and giving your 5-6 hours of energy only to work, then get therapy. Then come to agreement that the only way you function is with big breaks throughout the day. Sorry spouse! Sorry kids!

You think taking 30 minutes to yourself is dodging responsibilities? You sounds angry and weird, which would be consistent with that. PP said that she suggests her DH take a little break before coming home to decompress. That seems like a nice idea. Is it better to come in refreshed and ready to be present with the kids? Or to stick with the martyrdom and coming in ready to be angry at everyone?

Also, not everyone has some middle manager fed or NGO job where the only stress is boredom. Some people have really hectic or stressful jobs, and taking a little time to decompress makes a lot of sense.

Also, OP said he did this twice over the course of more than a month. We all need breaks. Ideally we'd be able to tell our spouses that. But "dodging responsibilities" twice over 45 days or so? Doesn't sound like a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

I have nothing to hide but it's very odd that you need to know where your partner is at every minute of every day..... And I would be very skeptical of my husband if he was tracking my whereabouts. We do trust each other that's why we don't need to.... That is just creepy and odd. And how do you think people have survived this long without having their spouses tracked every second of their life?.
It would make me almost want to get an old beater of a car just so you couldn't be tracking me around

[Anonymous]

So we are the one to have trust issues even though we are not the ones tracking our spouses every movement


Got it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simple. Him being in a parking lot for up to an hour right after work, causing him to be late coming home which OP says is like clockwork normally, is unusual. So OP asks him what's going on. If it were me I'd text him while he was sitting there and ask if he's ok. Then if he said I just need a little time to myself to decompress before I head home I'd say, Ok! That would be the end of it.

For me to be suspicious of him I'd have to have something more than this to go on. If it all added up to he's up to something that would be different, but if this is all he's doing wrong then it's nothing.

He wasn't late

Re-read the original post. He was late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop tracking your husband.

Tracking is another word for STALKING. “Work” from home busybodies drive themselves insane from boredom and solitude.

[Anonymous]

If he really wanted to cheat on you he could just leave his phone in his office and give the mistress a burner phone or Google number to communicate with him and rendezvous at a hotel after work. You’d think he was at the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have nothing to hide but it's very odd that you need to know where your partner is at every minute of every day..... And I would be very skeptical of my husband if he was tracking my whereabouts. We do trust each other that's why we don't need to.... That is just creepy and odd. And how do you think people have survived this long without having their spouses tracked every second of their life?.
It would make me almost want to get an old beater of a car just so you couldn't be tracking me around

I feel like you don't understand how this stuff works...

Phones (and some cars) have tracking on them. So yes, in theory you could open the app and track the person all day. But I'm pretty sure not a single person on here said they did that. People said they would check location to see what time someone would be home, which equates to opening the app at a single point in time, checking the location, and then closing the app. NO ONE IS CHECKING WHERE SOMEONE IS EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY. Since you seen unable to understand that.

Also, do you just leave the house without your phone for most of the day? Of course not, because we have become reliant on them. If you're Gen X, you didn't have cell phones until likely after college, and somehow we managed, yet today it feels weird to be without it. See how that works?

[Anonymous]

I would never track my spouse unless I suspect cheating. Call or text if you want to know so badly. Unless they 100% are cool with it. Seems creepy and controlling

[Anonymous]

It seems creepy and controlling because it is.

[Anonymous]

To a pp: plenty of people *who do understand* find it very inappropriate to check-up on the location of one's spouse.

[Anonymous]

If you do understand then you must not have read that most people don't track their spouse without permission. It's a thing people allow each other to do. That's not stalking or creepy or inappropriate. That seems to be the part you don't understand.

[Anonymous]

He was with the CPA cfo lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds suspicious, but, now he’s on to you tracking him. You played your cards wrong.

This.

Also my spouse does not have phone key access to my Tesla, only a keycard. Because even the thought that they can track me (and I'm not doing anything shady) creeps me out. If you want to know where I am in relation to home because you're making dinner, just call me and ask how traffic is. No one needs that much access to my whereabouts at any given time (and I don't stop in parks to decompress).