I hate where we live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still won't say where it is you would like to move back to. You don't have to give away the exact town but come ON. How is anyone supposed to objectively evaluate whether your desire to move "back home" makes sense if you refuse to say where "home" is? That doesn't make sense. With the way you claim to love it, you should be bragging about it, right?

"I'm from the Florida panhandle.". "I'm from upstate NY ". "I'm from southern Cal." "I'm from the Dallas-Ft. Worth area.". "I'm from Philly". And so forth.

Also, of course D.C. and places with a similar SES profile are filled with careerists. And you knew that when you moved here and benefited from it. You can't just ignore all the benefits of where you have been living.

You don't like the traffic, fine. Can't YOU look for another job that is remote or WFH or a bit more flexible to help address the commute?

You don't like the weather. You miss the snow (I guess that's a hint but not a really specific one.). You can't take a week of PTO and visit the slopes or something? Although you don't say you miss skiing. Yes it can get humid, that's what air conditioners are for.

Your "reasons" are so vague and generic that it trivializes what is going to be a huge traumatic life change for your family. No wonder you're not getting any buy in from your spouse. You sound childish.

I’m pretty familiar with everything north of DC in PA, NY, MD, DE, NJ, and New England: I doubt OP could name a place in that arc where DCUMers would not instantly man/woman-splain to her how craptastic it is or how it’s afflicted at least as badly by DMV-like problems, albeit with less summer heat/humidity.

The only places in that arc where I would rather raise a family than in the DMV are a few well-located college towns like Princeton, NJ. Huge swaths of the northeast away from the eastern seaboard are straight-up Appalachia, and don’t get me started on how many cloudy days Pittsburgh has, how screwed up is Hartford, the special concentrated insanity of the Boston area, etc.

So I’m guessing OP has no interest in reading those kinds of responses, but for the rest of us it might be fun.

OP here. The Princeton area is actually where home is.

Holy smokes! PP here. I feel like I got Wordle right on zero tries! And I’m totally team OP now! Also, DCUM detectives, please show me some love about guessing right with zero clues. Although do I even believe OP — what’s better about Princeton winters?

Yes you nailed it PP. But everyone goes to Princeton for the snowy winters and ski slopes/s.

This HAS to be about an old flame or an affair partner. There is no other reason it took so long for OP to say where "home" was because it just doesn't make sense to move lock stock and barrel from d.c. to Princeton for the reasons she has claimed.

I would bet maybe something like her college or high school boyfriend got divorced and OP thinks she might have a chance with him but needs to be in the same town to make it happen.

There is no other explanation.

You are oddly obsessed with this theory. It’s totally normal to want to move closer to family. I’m sure this has nothing to do with an old boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

There are so many hostile people on this thread. I know so many people who decided they don’t like it here and they moved. It’s totally possible. If it was the DH who wanted to move, everyone would tell OP to give it a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still won't say where it is you would like to move back to. You don't have to give away the exact town but come ON. How is anyone supposed to objectively evaluate whether your desire to move "back home" makes sense if you refuse to say where "home" is? That doesn't make sense. With the way you claim to love it, you should be bragging about it, right?

"I'm from the Florida panhandle.". "I'm from upstate NY ". "I'm from southern Cal." "I'm from the Dallas-Ft. Worth area.". "I'm from Philly". And so forth.

Also, of course D.C. and places with a similar SES profile are filled with careerists. And you knew that when you moved here and benefited from it. You can't just ignore all the benefits of where you have been living.

You don't like the traffic, fine. Can't YOU look for another job that is remote or WFH or a bit more flexible to help address the commute?

You don't like the weather. You miss the snow (I guess that's a hint but not a really specific one.). You can't take a week of PTO and visit the slopes or something? Although you don't say you miss skiing. Yes it can get humid, that's what air conditioners are for.

Your "reasons" are so vague and generic that it trivializes what is going to be a huge traumatic life change for your family. No wonder you're not getting any buy in from your spouse. You sound childish.

I’m pretty familiar with everything north of DC in PA, NY, MD, DE, NJ, and New England: I doubt OP could name a place in that arc where DCUMers would not instantly man/woman-splain to her how craptastic it is or how it’s afflicted at least as badly by DMV-like problems, albeit with less summer heat/humidity.

The only places in that arc where I would rather raise a family than in the DMV are a few well-located college towns like Princeton, NJ. Huge swaths of the northeast away from the eastern seaboard are straight-up Appalachia, and don’t get me started on how many cloudy days Pittsburgh has, how screwed up is Hartford, the special concentrated insanity of the Boston area, etc.

So I’m guessing OP has no interest in reading those kinds of responses, but for the rest of us it might be fun.

OP here. The Princeton area is actually where home is.

Holy smokes! PP here. I feel like I got Wordle right on zero tries! And I’m totally team OP now! Also, DCUM detectives, please show me some love about guessing right with zero clues. Although do I even believe OP — what’s better about Princeton winters?

Yes you nailed it PP. But everyone goes to Princeton for the snowy winters and ski slopes/s.

This HAS to be about an old flame or an affair partner. There is no other reason it took so long for OP to say where "home" was because it just doesn't make sense to move lock stock and barrel from d.c. to Princeton for the reasons she has claimed.

I would bet maybe something like her college or high school boyfriend got divorced and OP thinks she might have a chance with him but needs to be in the same town to make it happen.

There is no other explanation.

You are oddly obsessed with this theory. It’s totally normal to want to move closer to family. I’m sure this has nothing to do with an old boyfriend.

But OP clarified that it's not really because she is missing her family. She said she would still be unhappy if her extended family moved close to her.

The story keeps changing and makes no sense.

Not uncommon at DCUM.

She took this long to admit it was Princeton because OP knew it's ridiculous to claim she misses her family when she lives close enough to visit every weekend if that were the real issue.

She also knows that the issues she complained of are mostly the same. Rush hour in the Princeton area is terrible. 206 is a parking lot. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent multiple decades in DC. I moved to the most conservative district in NC. I haven't seen a burka in almost 2 years. The DMV isn't in 8 languages. It's glorious and I miss NOTHING about DC. Every aspect of my life has improved since leaving that shi*hole.

The DMV didn't used to suck when I first moved to NoVA in the 70s. Fairfax was red then. Things were normal. I went through ACPS for school and it was Remember the Titans.

The crazy libs and the invaders turned the place to a an overpriced sh*thole over the decades. If you decide to move to a "nice" place out-of-state, stop voting your BS Dems in office. That's what turns nice areas to crap. Just don't vote. Or realize that blue doesn't work.

This message will be deleted by the mods in 3, 2, [poof]

burka?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP is carrying a torch for her high school boyfriend or some other guy she knew back when. Her level of obsession and yearning isn't just because she wants to be near family. She's got a hidden agenda that she's not sharing either with her husband or DCUM because it wouldn't reflect.well on her. That's why she isn't telling where it is she wants to move back to. Because if she did everyone would wonder what's so special about that place? It's because that's where her old boyfriend lives.

Yeah. I promise you that women think about their mom, sisters, and kids much more than they think about their old boyfriends. Sorry.

+1 seriously. yeah, as my mom deals with parkinson's, and a hundred doctors appointments every week, with my dad as her caregiver - and now his eyesight is starting to fail. sure, yeah, it's my old boyfriend that makes me think it might be time to go home. rightio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

Also, Princeton and surrounds have beautiful countryside in multiple directions, nothing at all like Alexandria and anything near the beltway. If your kids and DH didn’t love it there, there’s something wrong with them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

Also, Princeton and surrounds have beautiful countryside in multiple directions, nothing at all like Alexandria and anything near the beltway. If your kids and DH didn’t love it there, there’s something wrong with them!

I haven’t been to Princeton in years but I remember it as a picturesque charming small college town. I’m sure there are traffic and crime issues, but overall it is a very different feel than anywhere in the DC area.

While I am very happy in my DC exurb, I also completely understand those who can’t stand this area and yearn to leave. I’m not sure why people feel the need to gaslight OP about her feelings or claim she is seeking a long lost love. Many of my friends would be just an unhappy as OP if they were living in the DC area. It’s not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Op should not respond to the angry fantastical posts full of stupid accusations. This was a nice thread to commiserate and discuss issues surrounding being stuck and what remedies help (not debating the merits of someone else's opinions on location).

Accusations of affairs and demanding op divorce and leave her kids are all idiotic and would leave op more miserable. Why are those trolls even on this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still won't say where it is you would like to move back to. You don't have to give away the exact town but come ON. How is anyone supposed to objectively evaluate whether your desire to move "back home" makes sense if you refuse to say where "home" is? That doesn't make sense. With the way you claim to love it, you should be bragging about it, right?

"I'm from the Florida panhandle.". "I'm from upstate NY ". "I'm from southern Cal." "I'm from the Dallas-Ft. Worth area.". "I'm from Philly". And so forth.

Also, of course D.C. and places with a similar SES profile are filled with careerists. And you knew that when you moved here and benefited from it. You can't just ignore all the benefits of where you have been living.

You don't like the traffic, fine. Can't YOU look for another job that is remote or WFH or a bit more flexible to help address the commute?

You don't like the weather. You miss the snow (I guess that's a hint but not a really specific one.). You can't take a week of PTO and visit the slopes or something? Although you don't say you miss skiing. Yes it can get humid, that's what air conditioners are for.

Your "reasons" are so vague and generic that it trivializes what is going to be a huge traumatic life change for your family. No wonder you're not getting any buy in from your spouse. You sound childish.

I’m pretty familiar with everything north of DC in PA, NY, MD, DE, NJ, and New England: I doubt OP could name a place in that arc where DCUMers would not instantly man/woman-splain to her how craptastic it is or how it’s afflicted at least as badly by DMV-like problems, albeit with less summer heat/humidity.

The only places in that arc where I would rather raise a family than in the DMV are a few well-located college towns like Princeton, NJ. Huge swaths of the northeast away from the eastern seaboard are straight-up Appalachia, and don’t get me started on how many cloudy days Pittsburgh has, how screwed up is Hartford, the special concentrated insanity of the Boston area, etc.

So I’m guessing OP has no interest in reading those kinds of responses, but for the rest of us it might be fun.

I agree that the Princeton area is nice. But OP might say it's "too expensive ". She wants all the benefits of living in a "careerist" UMC SES area but is unwilling to accept the things that go with it, like traffic, crowded, higher cost of living, maybe weather not to her liking at times of the year.

In the absence of a more specific explanation, OP is just being immature and unrealistic.

She even finally admitted it really has nothing to do with missing her family when she said even if her extended family moved to be near her, she still wouldn't be happy.

It's her.

OP is the problem.

Not her husband,not where she lives,not the traffic,not the cost of living,not the weather.

She is just another DCUM narcissist who thinks it's all about her and her childish whims and will likely age to become the kind of MIL who rearranges her DILs kitchen without permission.

Folks, the kind of wife that OP is matures into the kind of MIL that stains your floors and paints your living room while you're at work without bothering to find out if you're down with it first.

Op is a larval nightmare MIL.

This post is a nightmare. Do you realize how miserable of a person you are showing yourself to be? How terrible is your life that these attacks sound sane to you? Are you ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

Who said OP has to make a round trip in a single day? The point is she is very close to her family and the Princeton area and could very easily make multiple trips per year for holidays, long weekends, school vacations, and so on.

And yes obviously traffic is bad anywhere in the Northeast corridor.

So when OP says she wants to move to Princeton because of the traffic in D.C.....really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

Also, Princeton and surrounds have beautiful countryside in multiple directions, nothing at all like Alexandria and anything near the beltway. If your kids and DH didn’t love it there, there’s something wrong with them!

Well yes Princeton is very nice. But it's just as expensive as where OP lives right now. The cost of living is not lower in Princeton.

So all four of her reasons don't make sense: it's not about family; it's not about traffic; it's not about cost of living; it's not about liking "snow."

That's why she's not getting any buy in from her spouse.

She's not telling him, or us, the real reason she wants to move back home.

Very few things would make someone want to uproot their entire family for these kinds of excuses when the two areas are largely comparable in almost every significant way, and so close that it's a simple trip up I 95 for a weekend visit now and then.

She complains she doesn't like her commute. Why does she think her commute would be any easier in the Princeton area? Has she tried, you know, looking for a job with a better commute where she is living now?

Look OP deliberately hid that it was Princeton until PP guessed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok now that you've finally admitted where home is, OP, what is this really all about?

Princeton is 180 miles straight shot on I 95 to D.C. 3 hrs 16 minutes of you stay in the speed limit.

If you missed the fam that much you could leave RIGHT NOW and get there in time for lunch, easy.


Time to fess up. It's an old boyfriend or affair partner that you want to be closer to isn't it?

what is wrong with you? it's not just so easy for most people to drive 7 hours rt on any given day - and princeton is further once you factor in.... traffic! you are really a nasty piece of work

Also, Princeton and surrounds have beautiful countryside in multiple directions, nothing at all like Alexandria and anything near the beltway. If your kids and DH didn’t love it there, there’s something wrong with them!

I haven’t been to Princeton in years but I remember it as a picturesque charming small college town. I’m sure there are traffic and crime issues, but overall it is a very different feel than anywhere in the DC area.

While I am very happy in my DC exurb, I also completely understand those who can’t stand this area and yearn to leave. I’m not sure why people feel the need to gaslight OP about her feelings or claim she is seeking a long lost love. Many of my friends would be just an unhappy as OP if they were living in the DC area. It’s not for everyone.

That's fine and maybe your friends who you think couldn't stand d.c. would be able to give real reasons that make sense. So far OP hasn't.

[Anonymous]

This is you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many hostile people on this thread. I know so many people who decided they don’t like it here and they moved. It’s totally possible. If it was the DH who wanted to move, everyone would tell OP to give it a chance.

+1
OP has someplace great to go - not everyone has that!