How to handle a kid who does not want a Bar Mitzvah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

The point is, if you want meaningful interfaith dialogue, you need to give meaningful interfaith dialogue. Bashing Christianity, the understanding of key texts, and Christians is not it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

The point is, if you want meaningful interfaith dialogue, you need to give meaningful interfaith dialogue. Bashing Christianity, the understanding of key texts, and Christians is not it.

Ok, but:
a) This thread is not about interfaith dialogue. It was a Jewish parent asking for Jewish input on her son's upcoming Jewish ritual.
b) The desire for spaces to discuss shared religious values is a reasonable and sometimes necessary thing. PP being sarcastic about blood samples and genealogy is not necessary or appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read this whole thread but “having a bar mitzvah” has no actual significance in Jewish law— it’s the equivalent of a quinceanara, sweet sixteen or HS grad party— a marking of a milestone reached but the milestone occurs regardless of whether it’s marked or not.

And I truly can’t see how forcing a kid to prepare for a bar mitzvah is going to make them identify more with Judaism. If they aren’t intrinsically motivated to identify as Jewish and participate in the rituals, creating unpleasant dynamics around Jewish ritual certainly isn’t going to help.

The bolded is not true. I was SO proud to be counted as part of a minyan when we needed to go to the temple for a mourner's kiddush at age 14.

But whether you were counted as part of the minyan at 14 had nothing to do with whether you were given an aliyah, read haftarah, gave a drash or had a big party once you were 13. All you had to do to be counted was turn 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

The point is, if you want meaningful interfaith dialogue, you need to give meaningful interfaith dialogue. Bashing Christianity, the understanding of key texts, and Christians is not it.

Ok, but:
a) This thread is not about interfaith dialogue. It was a Jewish parent asking for Jewish input on her son's upcoming Jewish ritual.
b) The desire for spaces to discuss shared religious values is a reasonable and sometimes necessary thing. PP being sarcastic about blood samples and genealogy is not necessary or appropriate.

OK, but: the threads where you guys trash Christianity usually start off as discussions among Christians about holidays, scripture or whatever. Are there different rules for different groups?

[Anonymous]

Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

Good luck finding "like-minded Jews" anywhere. There's a saying "2 Jews, 3 opinions." Asking for Jewish advice doesn't mean you would get an echo chamber answer. You can see from this thread that there are all sorts of Jewish opinions on the issue. And, again, there are plenty of times and places where interfaith dialogue and input is encouraged and welcome. It's not "closed-minded" to want advice from people who have gone through a bar mitzvah (as a child or as a parent) and/or understand the cultural mindset behind the ritual. There is a different mindset toward communal vs. individualism between Judaism and Christianity (or Judaism and no-religion/atheism) that has come into play in some of the responses. I think that's all PP was trying to call out in asking for Jewish-centered or Jewish-only discussions.

As for the idea of being rude by offering perspectives, I would say that some of the responses were incredibly rude, accusing the parents of perpetrating "religious trauma" against their son, claiming that forcing him to go through with it might be a violation of the first amendment (spoiler, it's not), and generally accusing OP of forcing it on him for her own personal vanity. Besides all the other comments that just plain don't understand what a bar mitzvah entails or what it signifies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

Good luck finding "like-minded Jews" anywhere. There's a saying "2 Jews, 3 opinions." Asking for Jewish advice doesn't mean you would get an echo chamber answer. You can see from this thread that there are all sorts of Jewish opinions on the issue. And, again, there are plenty of times and places where interfaith dialogue and input is encouraged and welcome. It's not "closed-minded" to want advice from people who have gone through a bar mitzvah (as a child or as a parent) and/or understand the cultural mindset behind the ritual. There is a different mindset toward communal vs. individualism between Judaism and Christianity (or Judaism and no-religion/atheism) that has come into play in some of the responses. I think that's all PP was trying to call out in asking for Jewish-centered or Jewish-only discussions.

As for the idea of being rude by offering perspectives, I would say that some of the responses were incredibly rude, accusing the parents of perpetrating "religious trauma" against their son, claiming that forcing him to go through with it might be a violation of the first amendment (spoiler, it's not), and generally accusing OP of forcing it on him for her own personal vanity. Besides all the other comments that just plain don't understand what a bar mitzvah entails or what it signifies.

It’s a shame you’re unable to value non-Jewish opinions on the matter. Because of that, you’re missing out on advice and suggestions that could be helpful. You’re limiting yourself to be so closed minded and think someone who is Christian can’t offer some wisdom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

Good luck finding "like-minded Jews" anywhere. There's a saying "2 Jews, 3 opinions." Asking for Jewish advice doesn't mean you would get an echo chamber answer. You can see from this thread that there are all sorts of Jewish opinions on the issue. And, again, there are plenty of times and places where interfaith dialogue and input is encouraged and welcome. It's not "closed-minded" to want advice from people who have gone through a bar mitzvah (as a child or as a parent) and/or understand the cultural mindset behind the ritual. There is a different mindset toward communal vs. individualism between Judaism and Christianity (or Judaism and no-religion/atheism) that has come into play in some of the responses. I think that's all PP was trying to call out in asking for Jewish-centered or Jewish-only discussions.

As for the idea of being rude by offering perspectives, I would say that some of the responses were incredibly rude, accusing the parents of perpetrating "religious trauma" against their son, claiming that forcing him to go through with it might be a violation of the first amendment (spoiler, it's not), and generally accusing OP of forcing it on him for her own personal vanity. Besides all the other comments that just plain don't understand what a bar mitzvah entails or what it signifies.

It’s a shame you’re unable to value non-Jewish opinions on the matter. Because of that, you’re missing out on advice and suggestions that could be helpful. You’re limiting yourself to be so closed minded and think someone who is Christian can’t offer some wisdom.

PLus, OP hasn't complained -- unless she's masquerading as different posters. She may have left the scene completely.

I think the beauty of an anonymous message board is that people can be candid. Of course, I don't think there's anything beautiful about being mean or rude, but that's another story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

Good luck finding "like-minded Jews" anywhere. There's a saying "2 Jews, 3 opinions." Asking for Jewish advice doesn't mean you would get an echo chamber answer. You can see from this thread that there are all sorts of Jewish opinions on the issue. And, again, there are plenty of times and places where interfaith dialogue and input is encouraged and welcome. It's not "closed-minded" to want advice from people who have gone through a bar mitzvah (as a child or as a parent) and/or understand the cultural mindset behind the ritual. There is a different mindset toward communal vs. individualism between Judaism and Christianity (or Judaism and no-religion/atheism) that has come into play in some of the responses. I think that's all PP was trying to call out in asking for Jewish-centered or Jewish-only discussions.

As for the idea of being rude by offering perspectives, I would say that some of the responses were incredibly rude, accusing the parents of perpetrating "religious trauma" against their son, claiming that forcing him to go through with it might be a violation of the first amendment (spoiler, it's not), and generally accusing OP of forcing it on him for her own personal vanity. Besides all the other comments that just plain don't understand what a bar mitzvah entails or what it signifies.

It’s a shame you’re unable to value non-Jewish opinions on the matter. Because of that, you’re missing out on advice and suggestions that could be helpful. You’re limiting yourself to be so closed minded and think someone who is Christian can’t offer some wisdom.

PLus, OP hasn't complained -- unless she's masquerading as different posters. She may have left the scene completely.

I think the beauty of an anonymous message board is that people can be candid. Of course, I don't think there's anything beautiful about being mean or rude, but that's another story.

OP did ask (back on page 3 or something) for non-Jews to stop commenting. She said it nicely, not as a complaint, and pointed out that some of the non-Jewish examples weren't really analogous to her Jewish situation.

Also, I haven't said I don't value non-Jewish opinions. Again, there are plenty of spaces for interfaith discussion. That's just not really what this thread was, and it seemed like a lot of the non-Jewish input was either offensive (accusations of religious trauma or self-centeredness on the part of OP) or a misunderstanding of what it means to have a bar mitzvah. I thought the comparison to Confirmation from the Catholic poster somewhere in the first three pages was nice. I think there was a a Hindu poster who added an interesting perspective about community. But it's not closed-minded to want advice from people who have gone through this and understand what it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant here. All perspectives are welcome at any Bible class I’ve attended. We do learn from each other actually. I was always taught that Christianity is rooted in Judaism. But there is a lot of individualism within Christianity and even within a congregation. So I cannot speak on behalf of all Christians.
That said, I honestly cannot imagine anyone in my congregation requesting “no input from outsiders” - that sounds really close-minded and narrow-minded to me.
You know, we are all similar in some ways. Religious affiliation is only one identifier. The OP is a parent - as are many of the responders. But okay I think we all get it now, the only responses should be from like-minded Jews. I don’t think anyone was trying to be rude by offering perspective.

Good luck finding "like-minded Jews" anywhere. There's a saying "2 Jews, 3 opinions." Asking for Jewish advice doesn't mean you would get an echo chamber answer. You can see from this thread that there are all sorts of Jewish opinions on the issue. And, again, there are plenty of times and places where interfaith dialogue and input is encouraged and welcome. It's not "closed-minded" to want advice from people who have gone through a bar mitzvah (as a child or as a parent) and/or understand the cultural mindset behind the ritual. There is a different mindset toward communal vs. individualism between Judaism and Christianity (or Judaism and no-religion/atheism) that has come into play in some of the responses. I think that's all PP was trying to call out in asking for Jewish-centered or Jewish-only discussions.

As for the idea of being rude by offering perspectives, I would say that some of the responses were incredibly rude, accusing the parents of perpetrating "religious trauma" against their son, claiming that forcing him to go through with it might be a violation of the first amendment (spoiler, it's not), and generally accusing OP of forcing it on him for her own personal vanity. Besides all the other comments that just plain don't understand what a bar mitzvah entails or what it signifies.

It’s a shame you’re unable to value non-Jewish opinions on the matter. Because of that, you’re missing out on advice and suggestions that could be helpful. You’re limiting yourself to be so closed minded and think someone who is Christian can’t offer some wisdom.

PLus, OP hasn't complained -- unless she's masquerading as different posters. She may have left the scene completely.

I think the beauty of an anonymous message board is that people can be candid. Of course, I don't think there's anything beautiful about being mean or rude, but that's another story.

OP did ask (back on page 3 or something) for non-Jews to stop commenting. She said it nicely, not as a complaint, and pointed out that some of the non-Jewish examples weren't really analogous to her Jewish situation.

Also, I haven't said I don't value non-Jewish opinions. Again, there are plenty of spaces for interfaith discussion. That's just not really what this thread was, and it seemed like a lot of the non-Jewish input was either offensive (accusations of religious trauma or self-centeredness on the part of OP) or a misunderstanding of what it means to have a bar mitzvah. I thought the comparison to Confirmation from the Catholic poster somewhere in the first three pages was nice. I think there was a a Hindu poster who added an interesting perspective about community. But it's not closed-minded to want advice from people who have gone through this and understand what it means.

Points taken -- personally I think it IS close minded to expect people with perceived inappropriate advice to get lost. This is a public forum. Don't like it? ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

The point is, if you want meaningful interfaith dialogue, you need to give meaningful interfaith dialogue. Bashing Christianity, the understanding of key texts, and Christians is not it.

Ok, but:
a) This thread is not about interfaith dialogue. It was a Jewish parent asking for Jewish input on her son's upcoming Jewish ritual.
b) The desire for spaces to discuss shared religious values is a reasonable and sometimes necessary thing. PP being sarcastic about blood samples and genealogy is not necessary or appropriate.

Upthread PP here. OP got Jewish input that included Jewish input that said “don’t do it!” Then the posts about dog whistles and haters started.

OP still has the same decision to make: is conformity with the values of the community more important than her relationship with her child?

The dog whistle posters have certainly succeeded at illuminating the pressure to conform in thought and action within the community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a different poster, but I suggest as I did earlier here that we Jewe stop engaging with non-Jews about Jewish concerns. It is clear that they just don't understand what is at stake or appreciate our thousands of years-long project and the responsibility each of us has to not break the chain.

So where should these questions be discussed? I think we need a more appropriate forum, where Protestants and their secular intellectual descendants won't butt in with their completely contradictory values? It would also be good to have a place where Jew-hating dog whistles aren't tolerated. That hasn't been an issue on this thread, but it has been on others and Jeff just doesn't hear the whistles.

Yes there should absolutely be a no non- Jews allowed forum. You would have to prove your Jewish identity by blood sample, some genealogy paperwork, and go before a panel of judges to make sure that your Jewish values are correct.
There could be clubs and entire communities built on the same premise. Genius.

DP. What PP wants is different and I think you know that. In the same way that Christians probably don't want Jews at their Bible study all the time challenging their understanding of the texts. It's not that that Bible study couldn't generate an interesting or even positive discussion, but it's not going to be the same as a Christian-only Bible study, where certain assumptions about the text and religious values can be made.

There is a time and place for meaningful interfaith dialogue, and also a time and place to discuss ideas and values within the confines of your own religious community. This particular thread was about meant to discuss Jewish rituals and Jewish values and it would make sense for that discussion to remain "in-house" so to speak.

The point is, if you want meaningful interfaith dialogue, you need to give meaningful interfaith dialogue. Bashing Christianity, the understanding of key texts, and Christians is not it.

Ok, but:
a) This thread is not about interfaith dialogue. It was a Jewish parent asking for Jewish input on her son's upcoming Jewish ritual.
b) The desire for spaces to discuss shared religious values is a reasonable and sometimes necessary thing. PP being sarcastic about blood samples and genealogy is not necessary or appropriate.

Upthread PP here. OP got Jewish input that included Jewish input that said “don’t do it!” Then the posts about dog whistles and haters started.

OP still has the same decision to make: is conformity with the values of the community more important than her relationship with her child?

The dog whistle posters have certainly succeeded at illuminating the pressure to conform in thought and action within the community.

And the Jewish input that said "don't do it" was based on a Jewish understanding of what a bar mitzvah is, the importance of it to a family, what it means to be part of a Jewish community, etc. I have explicitly stated upthread that answers only from Jews doesn't mean it's going to be an echo chamber. We are a diverse people with lots of differing opinions and that's ok!

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think it's OK to expect civil responses, but not to expect responses from only people of a certain religion on an open forum such as this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's OK to expect civil responses, but not to expect responses from only people of a certain religion on an open forum such as this.

+1. It’s like posters saying “moms of 2 kids only post” — even when there’s arguably a good reason for it it’s a bad idea