13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

BMI *is* used for kids. The CDC has it standardized for 2-20 years old. It's linked and referenced by the AAP.

I get that you look at a girl like this and think "'overweight' is the wrong word, because this isn't what I mean by 'overweight." But overweight doesn't mean you are fat, or that you don't eat healthy, or are not active, or are a bad person. In kids, it is defined -- yes, defined -- as being in a certain percentile range on a distribution of values on a growth chart.

Maybe you should stop thinking that this can't be "overweight" because that's not what YOU mean by overweight, but instead think about the fact that maybe overweight just doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the whole thread, but didn’t see that OP said anything about her eating habits. But why would it be a problem to talk to a teen about their health, to include diet and weight? Conversations about health don’t automatically lead to eating disorders like some of you want to believe.

And in many instances they do. A former colleague's daughter died from anorexia. The trigger? A pre-college warning from an ostensibly well meaning relative not to gain the freshman 15. I'm sure there were other issues, but you never know what is going to set someone off. For me it was boys at school saying "big legs" when I walked down the hall in my cheerleading uniform. I was 5'6" and 124 lbs. with muscular legs, but those comments triggered a years long struggle with anorexia and bulimia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Totally fine with this. Long term obesity is a health issue that should be spoken about. Like smoking

Right, body shaming teen girls has done wonders at keeping obesity rates under control for the past few decades!

Body shaming? He gave a medical diagnosis based on data.

So then go back and reread the OP and tell us what you think the girl (or her parents) should do. Do you think a teen who is getting plenty of exercise should start restricting calories? Do you think she should start tracking everything she eats?

Dp. Did anyone say anything about restricting calories? I don’t see anything wrong with talking to a teenager about healthy eating habits.

Did OP ever indicate that her DD doesn’t have healthy eating habits? If she’s truly overweight as many of you insist, and also very active, then she’s going to have to reduce her caloric intake in order to get to a “satisfactory” weight.

I haven’t read the whole thread, but didn’t see that OP said anything about her eating habits. But why would it be a problem to talk to a teen about their health, to include diet and weight? Conversations about health don’t automatically lead to eating disorders like some of you want to believe.

It’s an incredibly delicate matter with many girls this age, and depending on how it’s delivered, conversations like this can absolutely plant a seed for an eating disorder. There’s are many posters in this thread—myself included—who know this firsthand. There are ways to incorporate healthy lifestyle choices in your household without specifically telling your daughter that there’s a problem with her body.

Of course it’s delicate. Who said it wasn’t? I grew up with a sister whose severe eating disorder landed her in the hospital twice. Doesn’t mean that doctors shouldn’t give her facts about her heath. Which is what this doctor did. Mom can have the conversation however delicately she wants or not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

BMI is most certainly used for kids. Except it isn’t used as a raw number. They look at where your child’s BMI falls when compared to other kids at the same age and height. So it is the BMI PERCENTILE that determines if a child/teen is overweight. If your child/teen’s BMI is higher than 85% if kids their same age and height, then they are considered overweight. OP’s daughter’s BMI is higher than 93% of 65 inch 13 yr olds. That makes her overweight according to medical definition. Understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I haven’t read the whole thread, but didn’t see that OP said anything about her eating habits. But why would it be a problem to talk to a teen about their health, to include diet and weight? Conversations about health don’t automatically lead to eating disorders like some of you want to believe.

And in many instances they do. A former colleague's daughter died from anorexia. The trigger? A pre-college warning from an ostensibly well meaning relative not to gain the freshman 15. I'm sure there were other issues, but you never know what is going to set someone off. For me it was boys at school saying "big legs" when I walked down the hall in my cheerleading uniform. I was 5'6" and 124 lbs. with muscular legs, but those comments triggered a years long struggle with anorexia and bulimia.

So your eating disorder was not triggered by a doctor having a conversation with you about your health, which is quite literally their job. There are a ton of things in this world that could trigger mental health problems. That doesn’t mean that we can not or should not have conversations about physical health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old is 5’9 and 137. I’m sorry op but your child is overweight. Not sure how they could have handled this, as to tell you privately they would have needed to ask you to leave the room. I’m sure then your child would have had questions and then you would have just lied?

OMG. You felt the need to post your DDs height and weight for what reason? It helps OP how? You want to brag? You think it somehow makes you fit to comment?

You are a nightmare. You and any other PP on here who posted their own weight or their daughter's weight.

F'd up women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I haven’t read the whole thread, but didn’t see that OP said anything about her eating habits. But why would it be a problem to talk to a teen about their health, to include diet and weight? Conversations about health don’t automatically lead to eating disorders like some of you want to believe.

And in many instances they do. A former colleague's daughter died from anorexia. The trigger? A pre-college warning from an ostensibly well meaning relative not to gain the freshman 15. I'm sure there were other issues, but you never know what is going to set someone off. For me it was boys at school saying "big legs" when I walked down the hall in my cheerleading uniform. I was 5'6" and 124 lbs. with muscular legs, but those comments triggered a years long struggle with anorexia and bulimia.

So your eating disorder was not triggered by a doctor having a conversation with you about your health, which is quite literally their job. There are a ton of things in this world that could trigger mental health problems. That doesn’t mean that we can not or should not have conversations about physical health.

DP. Are you so daft you can't understand that there are good ways and bad ways to have these conversations about physical health?

I hope you work in a field with zero human interaction. Good Lord.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 5 ft even and 125 lbs. Is she overweight?

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread is depressing and makes me relieved I have a son. My wife would no doubt f*** up our daughter with this self-hatred BS. It's pathetic that you women don't want to do better for your daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine with this. Long term obesity is a health issue that should be spoken about. Like smoking

Right, body shaming teen girls has done wonders at keeping obesity rates under control for the past few decades!

Body shaming? He gave a medical diagnosis based on data.

So then go back and reread the OP and tell us what you think the girl (or her parents) should do. Do you think a teen who is getting plenty of exercise should start restricting calories? Do you think she should start tracking everything she eats?

Yes. She needs to look at her diet and portions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 5 ft even and 125 lbs. Is she overweight?

That depends on her age and what you mean by the word "overweight."

It's one thing to tell you if her numbers fit in a certain box, but it would be misleading to give it to you in language that was fraught with erroneous meaning for you.

[Anonymous]

It probably has something to do with the new AAP childhood obesity guidelines they released this year. BMI does not account for muscle and your kid sounds athletic.
For the past few years my daughter was a gymnast training 12-16 hours per week and weighed 86 lbs last year. Every time she went to the doctor they were saying she was in the “obese” range. She decided to move on at the end of the summer last year and try another sport. Her new sport has much less conditioning so she has lost most of the “weight” which was all muscle. She is now 2 inches taller but only 71 lbs. I don’t listen to the BMI charts at all for my kids.

[Anonymous]

150 is huge for 5-2 and at 13….. total mom fail. I’m 5’2 as well, I was 95 pounds at that age. Your daughter is a big girl, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:150 is huge for 5-2 and at 13….. total mom fail. I’m 5’2 as well, I was 95 pounds at that age. Your daughter is a big girl, sorry.

She's 5'5", sounds like you need some carbs to fuel your brain

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It probably has something to do with the new AAP childhood obesity guidelines they released this year. BMI does not account for muscle and your kid sounds athletic.
For the past few years my daughter was a gymnast training 12-16 hours per week and weighed 86 lbs last year. Every time she went to the doctor they were saying she was in the “obese” range. She decided to move on at the end of the summer last year and try another sport. Her new sport has much less conditioning so she has lost most of the “weight” which was all muscle. She is now 2 inches taller but only 71 lbs. I don’t listen to the BMI charts at all for my kids.

Not sure how you got from 86 lbs to 151 lbs...