13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the doctor should have spoken to her without speaking to you first and I think you should tell them that.

However, I think you are kidding yourself a bit here if you are thinking it's not an issue that will come up. If you have the resources maybe look for a sports medicine doctor or someone that looks beyond BMI. The sad and depressing fact is that being overweight/obese (not that your daughter is obese!) when you are young makes it harder to maintain a healthy weight as an adult. According to the CDC BMI chart your daughter is in the range for obesity.

5-5 and 151 lbs is BARELY in the BMI overweight category. Like literally, one tenth of one percent into the overweight BMI.

A 13 yr old BMI standard for overweight is NOT the same as the adult standard. 13 yr olds fall into the BMI percentile. OPs daughter’s BMI is 93rd percentile for her age/height/weight. Over 85th percentile is concerned overweight

[Anonymous]

This is overweight. Do you want your child to be in a bubble forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI is 24.7 which is still in the healthy range

For an adult, which she is not. You cannot compare to adult standards

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old is 5’9 and 137. I’m sorry op but your child is overweight. Not sure how they could have handled this, as to tell you privately they would have needed to ask you to leave the room. I’m sure then your child would have had questions and then you would have just lied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine with this. Long term obesity is a health issue that should be spoken about. Like smoking

Right, body shaming teen girls has done wonders at keeping obesity rates under control for the past few decades!

Body shaming? He gave a medical diagnosis based on data.

So then go back and reread the OP and tell us what you think the girl (or her parents) should do. Do you think a teen who is getting plenty of exercise should start restricting calories? Do you think she should start tracking everything she eats?

Dp. Did anyone say anything about restricting calories? I don’t see anything wrong with talking to a teenager about healthy eating habits.

Did OP ever indicate that her DD doesn’t have healthy eating habits? If she’s truly overweight as many of you insist, and also very active, then she’s going to have to reduce her caloric intake in order to get to a “satisfactory” weight.

I haven’t read the whole thread, but didn’t see that OP said anything about her eating habits. But why would it be a problem to talk to a teen about their health, to include diet and weight? Conversations about health don’t automatically lead to eating disorders like some of you want to believe.

It’s an incredibly delicate matter with many girls this age, and depending on how it’s delivered, conversations like this can absolutely plant a seed for an eating disorder. There’s are many posters in this thread—myself included—who know this firsthand. There are ways to incorporate healthy lifestyle choices in your household without specifically telling your daughter that there’s a problem with her body.

[Anonymous]

So your daughter is hard core cross fitter at age 13? The lady cross fitters that I know have a lot of muscles.

My sister was an Olympic Athlete. She was 5'6" and weighed 168 pounds. Here is the thing---she looked tiny. If you saw her you would have guessed she weighed 125.

She had an emergency appendectomy. The surgeon called a lot of medical professionals into the room during the surgery to observe the surgery because unlike the rest of the US population she had very, very little stomach fat.
Most of the medical professionals had not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np but we all need to have more conversations about weight. Burying our heads in the sand clearly is not working. Look around anywhere you go. Americans have a weight problem and it’s getting worse.

What makes you think "conversations" and shaming about weight help? If they helped, nobody would be overweight. That's what's so stupid about this conversation. The doctor had zero useful to say. Generally you don't diagnose something without having any evidence-based recommendations to make. Conversely it is well known that starting girls on dieting at an early age leads to eating disorders and weight gain. People PRETEND that information women that they are fat is due to concern with their health; but when you dig down it's really about the need to shame them. This girl is likely *not even overweight* (b/c she was barely overweight at 151, and she was weighed with her clothes on. The doctor has no idea what is going on with her - growth spurt? Sedentary? Binge eating? Normal genetic body type? To just say "YOU ARE FAT" is the opposite of dealing with the "weight problem." It reflects a desire to bestowe a label on people who make us uncomfortable and therefore need to be put into a box of difference that sets them apart from us, so we can be sure they don't contaminate us.

[Anonymous]

BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

This is stupid. There is no single "normal range" for all 13 year old girls. The BMI would be better than that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

This is stupid. There is no single "normal range" for all 13 year old girls. The BMI would be better than that!

Actually I would use body fat % and hip to waist ratio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np but we all need to have more conversations about weight. Burying our heads in the sand clearly is not working. Look around anywhere you go. Americans have a weight problem and it’s getting worse.

What makes you think "conversations" and shaming about weight help? If they helped, nobody would be overweight. That's what's so stupid about this conversation. The doctor had zero useful to say. Generally you don't diagnose something without having any evidence-based recommendations to make. Conversely it is well known that starting girls on dieting at an early age leads to eating disorders and weight gain. People PRETEND that information women that they are fat is due to concern with their health; but when you dig down it's really about the need to shame them. This girl is likely *not even overweight* (b/c she was barely overweight at 151, and she was weighed with her clothes on. The doctor has no idea what is going on with her - growth spurt? Sedentary? Binge eating? Normal genetic body type? To just say "YOU ARE FAT" is the opposite of dealing with the "weight problem." It reflects a desire to bestowe a label on people who make us uncomfortable and therefore need to be put into a box of difference that sets them apart from us, so we can be sure they don't contaminate us.

This right here. And when mothers in particular have these conversations with their daughters, it is often tied to their own feelings of self-loathing instilled by their mothers, and/or about them feeling like their daughter’s appearance is a poor reflection on them. Either way, girls will see right through your “concern” and all they’ll hear is that they’re not perfect enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

This is stupid. There is no single "normal range" for all 13 year old girls. The BMI would be better than that!

Actually I would use body fat % and hip to waist ratio.

It won't help here either though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np but we all need to have more conversations about weight. Burying our heads in the sand clearly is not working. Look around anywhere you go. Americans have a weight problem and it’s getting worse.

What makes you think "conversations" and shaming about weight help? If they helped, nobody would be overweight. That's what's so stupid about this conversation. The doctor had zero useful to say. Generally you don't diagnose something without having any evidence-based recommendations to make. Conversely it is well known that starting girls on dieting at an early age leads to eating disorders and weight gain. People PRETEND that information women that they are fat is due to concern with their health; but when you dig down it's really about the need to shame them. This girl is likely *not even overweight* (b/c she was barely overweight at 151, and she was weighed with her clothes on. The doctor has no idea what is going on with her - growth spurt? Sedentary? Binge eating? Normal genetic body type? To just say "YOU ARE FAT" is the opposite of dealing with the "weight problem." It reflects a desire to bestowe a label on people who make us uncomfortable and therefore need to be put into a box of difference that sets them apart from us, so we can be sure they don't contaminate us.

This right here. And when mothers in particular have these conversations with their daughters, it is often tied to their own feelings of self-loathing instilled by their mothers, and/or about them feeling like their daughter’s appearance is a poor reflection on them. Either way, girls will see right through your “concern” and all they’ll hear is that they’re not perfect enough.

There are also overweight boys...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np but we all need to have more conversations about weight. Burying our heads in the sand clearly is not working. Look around anywhere you go. Americans have a weight problem and it’s getting worse.

What makes you think "conversations" and shaming about weight help? If they helped, nobody would be overweight. That's what's so stupid about this conversation. The doctor had zero useful to say. Generally you don't diagnose something without having any evidence-based recommendations to make. Conversely it is well known that starting girls on dieting at an early age leads to eating disorders and weight gain. People PRETEND that information women that they are fat is due to concern with their health; but when you dig down it's really about the need to shame them. This girl is likely *not even overweight* (b/c she was barely overweight at 151, and she was weighed with her clothes on. The doctor has no idea what is going on with her - growth spurt? Sedentary? Binge eating? Normal genetic body type? To just say "YOU ARE FAT" is the opposite of dealing with the "weight problem." It reflects a desire to bestowe a label on people who make us uncomfortable and therefore need to be put into a box of difference that sets them apart from us, so we can be sure they don't contaminate us.

This right here. And when mothers in particular have these conversations with their daughters, it is often tied to their own feelings of self-loathing instilled by their mothers, and/or about them feeling like their daughter’s appearance is a poor reflection on them. Either way, girls will see right through your “concern” and all they’ll hear is that they’re not perfect enough.

There are also overweight boys...

No doubt, and that’s completely different dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI isn’t used for kids. People need to stop thinking it’s the same as adults.

The normal range for a 13 year old girl is 78-148 lbs. The OP’s daughter is outside the normal range. If her DD’s height was also outside the normal range then the ped might have mentioned it but qualified it that she also above the range for height. However OPs daughter is well within the normal range for height.

So yes, the OPs DD is overweight. Instead of asking questions regarding what the target should be or what they do, she dismissed because OP is insecure about weight.

This is stupid. There is no single "normal range" for all 13 year old girls. The BMI would be better than that!

WTF? There absolutely is a normal range. Didn’t you pay any attention to those growth charts that you got at every ped well visit for years and years? BMI doesn’t apply equally to kids and adults.