Should the guy always pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst fear of men when it comes to dating is that she’ll be fat. The worst fear of women is that he’ll kill her.

There is an inherent power imbalance between men and women. We also live in a persistently sexist and patriarchal society and men earn more than women.

1) In a number of US cities, more wives kill their husbands than the opposite. Nearby Baltimore is one of those cities.

2) Fairfax and Loudon county have a population of 1.5 million. When was the last time a husband killed his wife in Fairfax County or Loudon County? It seems like the odds are in your favor, ladies.

Are you familiar with domestic violence statistics? Sexual assault statistics? Child sexual abuse statistics? Sexual harassment statistics? Human trafficking statistics? Homicide statistics? Do you know the rate of men v women committing these crimes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst fear of men when it comes to dating is that she’ll be fat. The worst fear of women is that he’ll kill her.

There is an inherent power imbalance between men and women. We also live in a persistently sexist and patriarchal society and men earn more than women.

Men always paid when I was dating and none had a problem with it. There’s something very unattractive about a man who lacks generosity, particularly when he seeks to woo a lady. If I ever didn’t like a guy I would go half with him.

My DH paid without question when we started dating. After about a month I started picking up coffees and stuff.

Times have changed, grandma. Ladies make their own money now with their turbocharged careers. It isn't the 1950s when women couldn't get jobs outside the home. Start coughing up dough more than once every 10 dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is people don't know how to date.

Everyone does the whole dinner thing, over and over again. It's expensive and an absolutely terrible way to get to know someone.

I always did coffee for a first date. I'd show up first and buy my own drink, date would show up and buy their own drink.

After that, whoever asks, pays. I'd always alternate, and I'd always pick an activity I wanted to do anyway. If there was a show I wanted to go to, I'd buy 2 tickets and someone I was dating if they wanted to go. The next week, they'd mention a hike they wanted to do, and would drive+pay for parking. The week after I would get food for a cookout we'd have at the park. Etc.

If one person is always doing all the asking, or doing all the paying, it sucks. And trying to split things 50/50 every time sucks. When you alternate both asking and paying, there's equal investment from both parties.

The fallacy in your logic is that SO MANY women will sit on their duffs and not ask any guys on dates. Partially because they don't want to pay, but mostly because they have been brainwashed into thinking that their value plummets when they have to ask men out on dates. It's really sad.

A 41 y/o female friend of mine had been on a series of dates this summer when the guys didn't call back for second dates. She asked if she should ask these guys out for the second date if they aren't calling? I couldn't believe it.

I told her of course she should. What's the worst that could happen? They don't call you back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What?

Well the physical activity itself costs nothing, but the whole song and dance leading up to it often costs a pretty penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

Not when the woman you lied to gets pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

[Anonymous]

Paying for women is fine when they are 25 or under…they are just establishing themselves in their careers, going to school etc and there is heavy competition for their attention.

25-30 depends on the woman..maybe she’s still in school

Over 30, no. 50/50 at best

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst fear of men when it comes to dating is that she’ll be fat. The worst fear of women is that he’ll kill her.

There is an inherent power imbalance between men and women. We also live in a persistently sexist and patriarchal society and men earn more than women.

Men always paid when I was dating and none had a problem with it. There’s something very unattractive about a man who lacks generosity, particularly when he seeks to woo a lady. If I ever didn’t like a guy I would go half with him.

My DH paid without question when we started dating. After about a month I started picking up coffees and stuff.

Times have changed, grandma. Ladies make their own money now with their turbocharged careers. It isn't the 1950s when women couldn't get jobs outside the home. Start coughing up dough more than once every 10 dates.

Lol I’m 35. I know you’re cheap but most (normal) men pay and don’t think twice about doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is people don't know how to date.

Everyone does the whole dinner thing, over and over again. It's expensive and an absolutely terrible way to get to know someone.

I always did coffee for a first date. I'd show up first and buy my own drink, date would show up and buy their own drink.

After that, whoever asks, pays. I'd always alternate, and I'd always pick an activity I wanted to do anyway. If there was a show I wanted to go to, I'd buy 2 tickets and someone I was dating if they wanted to go. The next week, they'd mention a hike they wanted to do, and would drive+pay for parking. The week after I would get food for a cookout we'd have at the park. Etc.

If one person is always doing all the asking, or doing all the paying, it sucks. And trying to split things 50/50 every time sucks. When you alternate both asking and paying, there's equal investment from both parties.

The fallacy in your logic is that SO MANY women will sit on their duffs and not ask any guys on dates. Partially because they don't want to pay, but mostly because they have been brainwashed into thinking that their value plummets when they have to ask men out on dates. It's really sad.

A 41 y/o female friend of mine had been on a series of dates this summer when the guys didn't call back for second dates. She asked if she should ask these guys out for the second date if they aren't calling? I couldn't believe it.

I told her of course she should. What's the worst that could happen? They don't call you back?

That goes both ways. When I was single, SO many men would endlessly text without ever asking me out.

Find someone who will put in an equal amount of effort. If someone from either sex can't be bothered to ask, then they aren't worth dating, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

Beautifully stated pp!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst fear of men when it comes to dating is that she’ll be fat. The worst fear of women is that he’ll kill her.

There is an inherent power imbalance between men and women. We also live in a persistently sexist and patriarchal society and men earn more than women.

1) In a number of US cities, more wives kill their husbands than the opposite. Nearby Baltimore is one of those cities.

2) Fairfax and Loudon county have a population of 1.5 million. When was the last time a husband killed his wife in Fairfax County or Loudon County? It seems like the odds are in your favor, ladies.

Loudoun. Learn to spell.