Should the guy always pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

If you feel “duped” after sex then it is clear you aren’t ready/built for sex outside of marriage

Which is fine. Then just make it clear you are waiting until marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

If you feel “duped” after sex then it is clear you aren’t ready/built for sex outside of marriage

Which is fine. Then just make it clear you are waiting until marriage

DP but that's stupid. Sex is very meaningful and important to me, and not something I would ever have with a rando or on a ONS basis, but I also would never DREAM of marrying someone I hadn't had sex with!! It's far too key a point of compatibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

Beautifully stated pp!

+2

Potential ramifications of sex - contracting a STI, becoming pregnant, and possibly being raped - are very impactful
too, economically and otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

If you feel “duped” after sex then it is clear you aren’t ready/built for sex outside of marriage

Which is fine. Then just make it clear you are waiting until marriage

I know you’re being deliberately obtuse and will not concede the point, but there are men who will say and do anything - sometimes for months - to have sex. Men will claim to be looking for a serious relationship and not be, state that they’re single but be married/have a gf, etc

Obviously women’s feelings and well-being are unimportant to you, but it is devastating and disorienting to be on the receiving end of these machinations - which occur quite commonly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

DP lol my girlfriends do this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom, I have different standards for my DD and my DS for paying for dates. However the goal is same - they attract good people and they remain protected.

I want my DS to always pays or insists on paying for dates. He also has to listen to the girl and allow her what she wants (he pays or she pays). The idea is that he is treating the girl right, earn her trust and respect, and give her the options. The default is that he pays.

I want my DD to never allow guys to pay for her on dates, and only allow the guy she is going steady with or married to to pay. In her case, it allows her to not feel any obligation and not create any negative feelings in men if things don't work out. This also allows her to keep dates inexpensive (because she is paying her share) and not over the top. The default is that she goes dutch.

Raise your daughter to value herself such that there’s no suggestion of “obligation” if a well-raised young man picks up her coffee. You’re seriously raising her to consider her value $3.99???

You are wrong. Not only my DD values herself, we as her parents value her and that is the reason she has always had our credit card, even when she was not earning. She was never low on cash that she could not pay for herself.

My DD’s dates have not been raised by me. Unlike my DS who does not feel that a date owes him anything because he paid for the meal, the men that my DD dates may have been raised in a dysfunctional family with dysfunctional values. How does my DD know that? She values herself immensely and would rather pay for her share and take her time in observing and judging the person. Most of the times, one date was enough for her to know that she did not have any sparks with the person. It has worked well so far. Not been assaulted, disrespected or gossiped about till now in college or in work life. And now she is dating a decent man and they do take turns treating each other. Her BF always offer to pay (as he should) and my DD takes turn in getting the check (as she should).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

You don't know my company and there are women that have so little integrity and self respect that they do this.
Actually, I think I may have found one right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

You don't know my company and there are women that have so little integrity and self respect that they do this.
Actually, I think I may have found one right now.

Sorry dude I’m married. I never paid for meals while I was dating and men who were boorish never got second dates. My husband still picks up the check whenever we go out.

[Anonymous]

My husband still picks up the check whenever we go out.

Using the credit card that gets paid off out of the joint account hopefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

Beautifully stated pp!

+2

Potential ramifications of sex - contracting a STI, becoming pregnant, and possibly being raped - are very impactful
too, economically and otherwise

Okay, so when you contract an STI, become pregnant, or are raped you can seek financial redress. Asking some guy you barely know to take financial responsibility for these injustices is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My husband still picks up the check whenever we go out.

Using the credit card that gets paid off out of the joint account hopefully.

Nope we keep individual cards for discretionary spending. He still gets the check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

Beautifully stated pp!

+2

Potential ramifications of sex - contracting a STI, becoming pregnant, and possibly being raped - are very impactful
too, economically and otherwise

Okay, so when you contract an STI, become pregnant, or are raped you can seek financial redress. Asking some guy you barely know to take financial responsibility for these injustices is insane.

Please let me know what state allows a woman to sue a man for contracting an STI or terminating an unwanted pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

You don't know my company and there are women that have so little integrity and self respect that they do this.
Actually, I think I may have found one right now.

I'm convinced this thread is full of men pretending to be so rich that women throw sex at them in exchange for food and women pretending to be so beautiful men throw meals at them in exchange for sex.

I bet in reality we're all ugly and broke AF and no one wants any of us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

There really aren’t. I promise you the free food is not worth your company.

You don't know my company and there are women that have so little integrity and self respect that they do this.
Actually, I think I may have found one right now.

I'm convinced this thread is full of men pretending to be so rich that women throw sex at them in exchange for food and women pretending to be so beautiful men throw meals at them in exchange for sex.

I bet in reality we're all ugly and broke AF and no one wants any of us

For sure the men on this thread are on the poorer side if dinners and drinks and coffees are posing this kind of financial hardship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair amount of women who "date" someone they have absolutely no intention of being with just to get a couple of free meals.
Men have caught on to this.
.
In some cases, they excuse themselves "to the restroom" , walk out the door, and leave the check behind for her to pay.

Really? There are many men who claim to want a relationship when all they want is sex.

It goes both ways.

News flash: Sex is free

It's really not. Maybe free in terms of money, but when men lied to me for sex and then bailed, it had a huge emotional toll on me and caused quite a bit of damage.

Money isn't the only thing with value. Emotions, intimacy, self-esteem, all of those have value as well.

Beautifully stated pp!

+2

Potential ramifications of sex - contracting a STI, becoming pregnant, and possibly being raped - are very impactful
too, economically and otherwise

Okay, so when you contract an STI, become pregnant, or are raped you can seek financial redress. Asking some guy you barely know to take financial responsibility for these injustices is insane.

Please let me know what state allows a woman to sue a man for contracting an STI or terminating an unwanted pregnancy.

Who said sue? When I had an unwanted pregnancy, I asked the father to pay for half of the abortion, and he did. You must truly be sleeping with some bottom feeders not to be able to ask your partners for help in a situation like that. Fix your picker.