Social resume for sorority rush

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

did you ever think the a new house might be a great situation to come into?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

Actually it did happen the way i'm saying and DDs friend has actually since dropped the sorority in part as a result of what she saw during rush. Recommendations depended on whether or not the person recommending the rushee had enough clout and apparently my DD's friend did not. Her friend didn't even know she got cut.

My house must have been more democratic. We sat around and put pictures up on a projector and voted. Any sister who know some and vouched for them was enough during the initial cuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

did you ever think the a new house might be a great situation to come into?

Sure, a house with no tradition, no relationships with other houses, inferior facilities, no alumni network... seems great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

did you ever think the a new house might be a great situation to come into?

Yes, because I’m 50.

Again, we’re talking about 18 year olds. And if they grew up in the south they’re under a lot of peer pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

Actually it did happen the way i'm saying and DDs friend has actually since dropped the sorority in part as a result of what she saw during rush. Recommendations depended on whether or not the person recommending the rushee had enough clout and apparently my DD's friend did not. Her friend didn't even know she got cut.

My house must have been more democratic. We sat around and put pictures up on a projector and voted. Any sister who know some and vouched for them was enough during the initial cuts.

This is a very large house and they had a committee to handle rush. My DD's friend was not on the committee and not involved in the decision making other than adding her recommendation to the list prior to rush. This was the friends first time going through rush so it was eye opening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

did you ever think the a new house might be a great situation to come into?

Sure, a house with no tradition, no relationships with other houses, inferior facilities, no alumni network... seems great

You are so judgmental. My DS had an opportunity to join a house that was refounding and he seriously considered it because its a great experience to be involved in and help shape a house to what you want it to be. He decided it two big a hill to climb so he chose another, but there were some very strong reasons why he did want to consider it and stayed with them right until the end of rush.

Some people are entrepreneurial and enjoy that type of challenge and opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

It’s organized by the sorority Panhellenic counsel, not the school. These are student run organizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

Actually it did happen the way i'm saying and DDs friend has actually since dropped the sorority in part as a result of what she saw during rush. Recommendations depended on whether or not the person recommending the rushee had enough clout and apparently my DD's friend did not. Her friend didn't even know she got cut.

So it really is who you know not who you are?

That’s nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone want to be part of a system founded on privilege and discrimination and perpetuated through exclusion based the most superficial and so often unearned attributes?

This is just ignorant. Members are recruited on grades and leadership
first and then looks, personality and background. Of course groups want the whole package. Everyone everywhere , from college admissions to dating to employers- wants the whole package.

Gross. This shouldn’t be a factor in any way.

And yet it matters in every aspect of American life. When you’re ready to dismantle Ivy admissions fif their inherent classism, we can talk about classism in American social sororities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone want to be part of a system founded on privilege and discrimination and perpetuated through exclusion based the most superficial and so often unearned attributes?

This is just ignorant. Members are recruited on grades and leadership
first and then looks, personality and background. Of course groups want the whole package. Everyone everywhere , from college admissions to dating to employers- wants the whole package.

Gross. This shouldn’t be a factor in any way.

And yet it matters in every aspect of American life. When you’re ready to dismantle Ivy admissions fif their inherent classism, we can talk about classism in American social sororities

I don’t need your permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

Actually it did happen the way i'm saying and DDs friend has actually since dropped the sorority in part as a result of what she saw during rush. Recommendations depended on whether or not the person recommending the rushee had enough clout and apparently my DD's friend did not. Her friend didn't even know she got cut.

So it really is who you know not who you are?

That’s nice.

for "top houses" yes, because there is way more interest than room. Not every house is like this and I am personally thankful (as is she) that she is not in it. Her house is much more democratic and she knew no one in the house going into rush, just had amazing conversations with them all and really clicked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

It’s organized by the sorority Panhellenic counsel, not the school. These are student run organizations.

And the school oversees it. They absolutely have input. They supervise the 24 year old grad student who is the primary organizer. She works in their department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

These are private groups so 1984 actions are very limited in their application. ADA housing is more of an issue, but all national orgs are aware of that and are actively working on upgrading their housing. My chapter’s new house is beautiful and fully ADA compliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

There actually is. When a school adds a new house, it keeps everyone through the end to build numbers. They might be a nice group but they are much less likely to be someone’s top few choices through the week. So girls dropped from all the other houses have that house as their only option after even just a couple days, and the university is thrilled because it will grow the house. Never mind their students’ first experience on campus. Nice.

did you ever think the a new house might be a great situation to come into?

Sure, a house with no tradition, no relationships with other houses, inferior facilities, no alumni network... seems great

You are so judgmental. My DS had an opportunity to join a house that was refounding and he seriously considered it because its a great experience to be involved in and help shape a house to what you want it to be. He decided it two big a hill to climb so he chose another, but there were some very strong reasons why he did want to consider it and stayed with them right until the end of rush.

Some people are entrepreneurial and enjoy that type of challenge and opportunity.

Building a new house today would cost millions of dollars assuming you could even get the land. Unless the frat still owned their old house, that's a huge hill to climb.