Social resume for sorority rush

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

It’s a social club that - up front - excludes people based on background, connections and looks. Fold in the hidden classism, racism, ableism. Yes, this is human nature but not a particularly admirable side of human nature. Why would that be acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone want to be part of a system founded on privilege and discrimination and perpetuated through exclusion based the most superficial and so often unearned attributes?

Anyone applying to private school and then elite colleges?

How many of those care about how you look or make you go through “rush”?

None cares about looks, but all care about superficial and unearned attributes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

It’s a social club that - up front - excludes people based on background, connections and looks. Fold in the hidden classism, racism, ableism. Yes, this is human nature but not a particularly admirable side of human nature. Why would that be acceptable?

+1

As a society we try to change things that are wrong. We no longer have slavery; it's now illegal to discriminate based on race, sex, a whole list of things, when applying for a job. Women can vote; women can have their own credit cards and hold jobs. We try to make society a better place to live in (we still have a long way to go on most of these things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

It’s a social club that - up front - excludes people based on background, connections and looks. Fold in the hidden classism, racism, ableism. Yes, this is human nature but not a particularly admirable side of human nature. Why would that be acceptable?

+1

As a society we try to change things that are wrong. We no longer have slavery; it's now illegal to discriminate based on race, sex, a whole list of things, when applying for a job. Women can vote; women can have their own credit cards and hold jobs. We try to make society a better place to live in (we still have a long way to go on most of these things).

but what if women who are in them (and even those who are not), don't consider them wrong and enjoy them? You speak for yourself when you say it's "wrong".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

That's why you have bid day- to make them realize that they aren't who they thought they were and that the people they thought they fit in with actually reject them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

That's why you have bid day- to make them realize that they aren't who they thought they were and that the people they thought they fit in with actually reject them.

You seem to be stuck on hating greek life and that's fine, but clearly no one will change your mind, neither will you change anyone else's... so perhaps we can stop the argument now for today? I know it will pop up in a few more weeks so you can get out your opinions then again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

It’s a social club that - up front - excludes people based on background, connections and looks. Fold in the hidden classism, racism, ableism. Yes, this is human nature but not a particularly admirable side of human nature. Why would that be acceptable?

+1

As a society we try to change things that are wrong. We no longer have slavery; it's now illegal to discriminate based on race, sex, a whole list of things, when applying for a job. Women can vote; women can have their own credit cards and hold jobs. We try to make society a better place to live in (we still have a long way to go on most of these things).

but what if women who are in them (and even those who are not), don't consider them wrong and enjoy them? You speak for yourself when you say it's "wrong".

Many people enjoyed having slaves and thought it was "right", so much so we had a Civil War. Using your logic, the Civil war was wrong because many "don't consider them wrong and enjoy them"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

This is my whole point pages ago. There is a sorority for everyone who wants to be in one. There is no such thing as "reject" sorority. It may be a less social, more nerdy or smaller sorority but who's to say that isn't the best fit for the rushee? Most girls at age 18-19 want to be popular, especially in a new school, so they naturally gravitate to the more popular sororities who simply can't take everyone. That does not mean that there's not a house there for them if they are open minded about perhaps a house they hadn't heard of before. You go through the process and get to know everyone the best you can, then decide. You have to give the process a chance for it to work, and even if you accept a bid somewhere you're unsure about, you can always drop before initiation and try again. It's just not this horrid experience from start to finish. Yes cut days are HARD, very hard. But in the end, you can have a good experience and end up with a group of likeminded sisters which really helps create friendships and bonds that hopefully will last a lifetime.

I am not a pro-greek person, though I was greek and i have absolutely no problem with my DC being greek or not being greek. I just don't understand all the vitriol from people who clearly have no idea first hand of what happens. Yes there are bad stories everywhere, but by in large, woman are happy in sororities and feel it's worthwhile. So why if you do not wish to be in one, do you need to denigrate those who do?

Blaming the hurt girls again. Both of you.

None of us can speak to every school in the country, and I’m happy for you that you had a good experience, but a lot of girls have a horrendous experience and the schools could do better if they cared. If every girl got three choices on the last night, you would have a point. There are lots of girls who have one. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, and that’s not a choice.

These kids are 18, stop expecting them to handle it like a 40 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

For one thing, it's school sanctioned

And rush is organized by the school. They could choose to be more humane.

How many more years will it take for someone to hit a public school with an ADA or 1984 complaint based on rush?

Overdue. But when a school gets a reputation of having an especially brutal rush and moms start steering their daughters to the other major state U because of it (true story), a sorority will give a bid to someone with obvious differences (Down’s) for a PR stunt to show how “inclusive” are.

Stories like this are based on a very limited number of schools.

Generally speaking though sororities run the gamut from groups with all one type of young women to groups with all types. Sororities vary from school to school and the most snobby sorority at one school might be the most laid back at another school.

One problem that happens in rush is most freshman will go through the process and pick the group that matches their "fantasy self" - the young woman they imagine they might be sometime in the future - instead of picking the sorority that matches their real self. So the girl who wants to be outgoing and bubbly and popular but is really a bit more shy and reserved tries really hard to get into the outgoing bubbly popular all the time sorority and is crushed when she doesn't get accepted. She passes up the group of young women who are a bit more reserved but are just as fun and kind as the other sorority and have just as many activities going on but don't appear to be the most popular.

Another problem that happens is most freshman fail to understand that during rush the sisters are like sales people. They are really good at selling the sorority experience. They make everyone feel like they love them and want them in their group. That's so the rushee feels like she wants to be in that group. It can be hard to look past that and decide which group has the best sales people vs. which group has the best people for her.

Having been in a sorority and served as Rush Director, happy to report your speculation is off the mark. Most girls gravitate towards the sorority where they feel “most at home,” not the most aspirational.

I think the PP has a point, somewhat of a "know thyself" situation. My DD was dead set on one particular sorority, where she had a good friend from childhood (they had drifted over recent years). It was very much a party sorority, known for being very social and high emphasis on partying. My DD was cut the first night, even with the friend to vouch for her. At the end of the day, while my DD is very social and goes out just often as most kids, she barely drinks so in the end, that house would have been a terrible fit for her. She even sees that now seeing the people that did get a bid there, that it is for the best. She is a perfect fit for the house she's in that she had literally never heard of prior to rush.

Does she realize that her friend didn't actually vouch for her? My house would never think of cutting someone first day who was being vouched for. We may have pressed the friend to make sure, but if the friend stuck with it, that would be enough.

Actually it did happen the way i'm saying and DDs friend has actually since dropped the sorority in part as a result of what she saw during rush. Recommendations depended on whether or not the person recommending the rushee had enough clout and apparently my DD's friend did not. Her friend didn't even know she got cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any discussion of greek life always devolves into this type of argument on this board. the fact is that if you talk to the girls in sororities they are generally happy with the experience, and they are also welcome to drop out at any time if they are not. Its a social club, why do we have to assign any more meaning to it than that? If the girls find their "home" great, if its not for them,, great. Why grown women (and possibly men) on this board care one way or the other, I simply don't understand.

It’s a social club that - up front - excludes people based on background, connections and looks. Fold in the hidden classism, racism, ableism. Yes, this is human nature but not a particularly admirable side of human nature. Why would that be acceptable?

+1

As a society we try to change things that are wrong. We no longer have slavery; it's now illegal to discriminate based on race, sex, a whole list of things, when applying for a job. Women can vote; women can have their own credit cards and hold jobs. We try to make society a better place to live in (we still have a long way to go on most of these things).

but what if women who are in them (and even those who are not), don't consider them wrong and enjoy them? You speak for yourself when you say it's "wrong".

Many people enjoyed having slaves and thought it was "right", so much so we had a Civil War. Using your logic, the Civil war was wrong because many "don't consider them wrong and enjoy them"

So by your logic, you're saying the slaves enjoyed being slaves? I hadn't heard that before.