Twin play date, one twin left out…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So nice to hear non-twin parents blocking friendships and penalizing kids based on a slightly awkward situation that is not at all within the kids’ control.

dp But is it really the non twin parent who is blocking friendships? It seems that twin parents are because you are not allowing individual friendships to blossom and you are elevating the twins' relationship. You are family and have tons of opportunity to bond with you twin when you are at home. Two hours away from your twin isn't going to kill anyone!

It isn’t about the difficulty being away from the other twin. I wouldn’t send both of my twins if only one was invited. It’s the idea that people don’t even want to bother inviting one twin because they feel guilty excluding the other one so they just exclude both. I agree it’s harder and there is no right answer, but it’s sad to see your kids get excluded literally just because they are twins and other parents don’t want to deal with that.

Being asked at every play date if the sibling can come is emotionally exhausting. Do I come off as a witch and say no? Do I ruin my child’s play date when they only want to play with one of the twins?

Haha. I said upthread that I could host both twins sometimes but not always and reminded them to be considerate of the host family situation as well. Apparently that made my kid a brat and I’m a horrible person trying to tell twin moms how to raise their kids.

Ummm, yeah… Not going to lie, that makes me want to avoid twin parents!!! Maybe once the kids are in middle school they’ll calm down?

Ummm yeah you are kind of a horrible person. But that’s ok. Just don’t have twin friends. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, would be rude to ask and this is the age where they should be developing separate friendships anyway.

+1

This is the first volley. Right on the first page.

NP. I really don’t see how this is the first volley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, would be rude to ask and this is the age where they should be developing separate friendships anyway.

+1

This is the first volley. Right on the first page.

NP. I really don’t see how this is the first volley.

+1. And a twin mom chimed in right after saying pretty much the same thing in more words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Yeah maybe on the weekends, but I’m not sure many families have two parents, neither of whom needs to work on a weekday afternoon, both handling childcare separately to accommodate a kindergarten play date.

Most families don’t even have one parent who doesn’t need to work on a weekday afternoon. I missed where op specified the playdate was scheduled for a weekday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Yeah maybe on the weekends, but I’m not sure many families have two parents, neither of whom needs to work on a weekday afternoon, both handling childcare separately to accommodate a kindergarten play date.

Most families don’t even have one parent who doesn’t need to work on a weekday afternoon. I missed where op specified the playdate was scheduled for a weekday.

Np. I missed where OP specified it was on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

You are the dense one because you can’t even imagine there are decent people out there. If no more date so be it, no big deal , DD will make other friends regardless. We are not that desperate for play dates, this is the greatest advantage about having twins, we don’t agonize about missing play dates as they have each other !

I'm PP. I have twins. And no, I'm not dense, but I can read a room. I wish we could ask the other mom to come on here and post her opinion of how things went down...

Lol it feels funny to be called dense? you are dense because you think everyone thinks like your dense self. Everyone can be a twin mom here but even if you are for real why would it make a difference? You are still pretty dense.

Ok, OP. Keep doubling down after many, many posters told you not to bring your son...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Or, you know, can hire a babysitter or GASP stay with the child themselves since only OP was invited to join (so clearly it could have been a drop off playdate for just the girl). Or made other plans for the son. Or had the kid spend time with family, if nearby. Or multiple other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The twin part is a red herring. This can be boiled down to "is it all right if I invite myself/my child to someone else's house/event?"

The answer will always be NO. The only very rare exception would be close friends and family who regularly have both children over at the same time. Definitely not acquaintances who know the second child exists and chose not to extend the invitation.

If you feel letting one child go to a playdate without the other child is too disruptive for your family, it is on YOU to say no thank you and decline altogether.

But, but, but, what about the BOND???"

I have never seen so many thirsty, jealous moms as when twins are brought up. Sorry you didn't win that lottery.

Oh, sweetie, you just keep telling yourself how "jealous" everyone else is and how you "won the lottery."



ROFL. Delusional.

Yeah sorry but I have two close friends with twins and seeing how miserable the early childhood years were for them I thank my lucky stars that I had singletons.

Interesting. I had spontaneous twins (I'm guessing it's because I got pregnant immediately after going off birth control but we have no idea) and I would pick them again in a heartbeat! I only had to be pregnant once, they're best friends, I could go on and on. The early years weren't miserable at all because I had two kids on exactly the same schedule as opposed to a two-year old with one nap and a baby with three, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Yeah maybe on the weekends, but I’m not sure many families have two parents, neither of whom needs to work on a weekday afternoon, both handling childcare separately to accommodate a kindergarten play date.

OMG, the EXCUSES! You are a piece of work. Also, OP never said that childcare was the issue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Yeah maybe on the weekends, but I’m not sure many families have two parents, neither of whom needs to work on a weekday afternoon, both handling childcare separately to accommodate a kindergarten play date.

A kindergarten play date shouldn't involve the parents of both kids like a toddler play date. Drop the twin off who was invited and do whatever you would otherwise do if you have both kids and now only have one. This is what people who have multiple kids have to do every day, not sure why the twin situation makes it that different. It's not free babysitting for all the kids if only one is invited.

So people really just drop their Kindergartener at someone else house they met once during school pickup? Really? I guess I am not comfortable with that. I will need to know the family before dropping my 5 y o unattended. But I guess it is just me.

Can you read? OP said the kids have played before. It's not like some random stranger from school asked OP if she could have her kid. I have no idea how you make it through the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

Wow OP, you are DENSE. The other mom suggested that YOU could join them. Not YOU AND YOUR SON. Be prepared for no more play dates offers. And I have twins!

NP you are a jerk. Who is supposed to watch the other kid? That's ridiculous.

Umm, many people have a spouse/partner who is capable of childcare.

Yeah maybe on the weekends, but I’m not sure many families have two parents, neither of whom needs to work on a weekday afternoon, both handling childcare separately to accommodate a kindergarten play date.

Most families don’t even have one parent who doesn’t need to work on a weekday afternoon. I missed where op specified the playdate was scheduled for a weekday.

Np. I missed where OP specified it was on the weekend.

I've never seen people dig in so much on the most ridiculous things before. This thread has truly brought out the crazies.

[Anonymous]

DCUM classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM classic.

+ 1 billion, this thread is something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, would be rude to ask and this is the age where they should be developing separate friendships anyway.

+1

This is the first volley. Right on the first page.

NP. I really don’t see how this is the first volley.

Me either. I don't get it. That seems rational, not any sort of volley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here, I didn't realize this thread got crazy after the first page lol. So here is the update:

After I posted here I re-read the mom message and realized that she had suggested I could join them as an option. So I offered to join them with the other twin so we can all get to know each other before I sent DD alone next time and it was well received.

Now everyone can calm down or call me names? DCUrbanmoms never disappoint lol

OP - I just stumbled across this thread. I'm 99.99% sure I AM THE OTHER MOM hosting the playdate and am genuinely happy to meet you and both twins tomorrow. For all the other posters, my daughter is new to the elementary school and eager to make more friends and connections. I understand adding a twin in all situations may not work, but it did in this invite! Hope this is a happy ending for 1 DCUM thread.