Twin play date, one twin left out…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, would be rude to ask and this is the age where they should be developing separate friendships anyway.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. This girl is not friends with your son. She’s friends with your daughter. It’s time your kids start making their own separate friends. They can still do activities together but you can’t force kids to be friends with both of them.

This. Absolutely not. Don’t hoist your other child on them. It will ruin the purpose and dynamic of the girls play date.

[Anonymous]

Is it at their house? Is it at a playground? Is it drop off or is a parent staying too?

If you’re dropping a kid off and not staying, don’t ask if the other twin can join. If you’re meeting at a playground, then I might mention it because I might not have anyone else to leave the other kid with.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are a weirdo. If your kids were one year apart in age would you insist that they both do everything together always and with everyone? No. Just because they're twins doesn't make it any different. They were in the womb at the same time, great. They're still separate people.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT ASK.

signed,
mom of girl/boy twins.

[Anonymous]

Agree that OP is a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son's bff is a twin and the first time we invited him over in K, his mom mentioned he had a twin sister and asked if she could come as well. I didn't think it was rude, and the kids played together just fine. I think in K it is still pretty normal for twins to do a lot of things together.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 11 yo b/g twins here. Do your kids a favor and don't ask. My kids are close too and have many overlapping friends, but when one twin was invited I only sent one. For whatever reason, they only wanted a playdate with one twin. I suspect that many times one twin missed out on something because people thought the twins were a package deal and they didn't have room for an extra kid, or wanted all girls, or all boys. I deliberately made a point to send them separately.
When they were younger, there were some hurt feelings. I would have to cheer up the left out one. But now, they don't mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my son's bff is a twin and the first time we invited him over in K, his mom mentioned he had a twin sister and asked if she could come as well. I didn't think it was rude, and the kids played together just fine. I think in K it is still pretty normal for twins to do a lot of things together.

It may not have been rude, but the mother of your son's bff is also a weirdo. Like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 y o twin b/g. They are very close and usually have the same friends.
They are in different classrooms this year. The girl twin has a classroom friend she is got close to.
The mom is organizing a play date for her and my DD. I was wondering if it would be ok to ask if her twin can join?
He knows the girl and the 3 of them play together. They never had separate play date before and I don’t think he will take it well.
Also most of his friends are girls anyway which means DD would automatically be invited to any play date he might have.
I am wondering if I could ask for it for this one time while I ease him into doing his own stuffs.

If this ok to ask? If yes what is the best way to ask?

This is a mistake to ask. Your children, while twins are two individuals and should not be treated as a package. Encourage your son to make friends and invite that kid over. Let your daughter have her own playdate. Do something fun with your son.

Imagine one of your woman friends inviting you over and you inviting your spouse as well because "they are all friends" it changes the dynamics and you know it.

Do not ask. Your son has to learn sooner or later. Your dd will need to as well

[Anonymous]

Twin mom here. Absolutely do not ask. It’s rude and also a good chance to show your kids that they will each get different things and to be happy for the other one. Honestly, 5 is late for this! I have friends w/ twins who always tried to equalize things and their kids are a mess they care more about making sure they always get equivalent than whatever the experience is. People don’t invite them to things bc there is always tears or drama at this point. Also a 3 person play date has different dynamics than a 2 person one.

[Anonymous]

If your daughter doesn’t get invited to parties, this is why. They don’t want to offend you for not inviting the brother.

[Anonymous]

What's up with all the twins? Fertility treatments in the drinking water?

[Anonymous]

As the hosting mom, I would not mind at all if the other twin came along - the more the merrier. However, I think most of the twin mom's I know would typically host a parallel playdate for the uninvited kid so that everybody had something to do.

[Anonymous]

Well OP you can see the attitude. BY GOD DONT BRING YOUR KID!!!! A bit over the top but there it is. Non twin moms never get that twins have a bond and so on. They lash out. And so strident about the need to separate them. Nice isn’t it? Signed twin mom.