For women who didn't change their names, but gave their children their husband's last name...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hyphens are so eighties

I think you meant 90s?

Nobody hyphenated in the 80s. Nobody.

Signed,

I hyphenated my name in the late 90s

[Anonymous]

I’m a WOC and wrongly assumed that my kids would have my pigment so I might as well give them my husband’s last name so they feel connected to him too. I have two blond kids somehow; not even my DH has blond hair, so who knows how this happened.

[Anonymous]

I refused to do a hyphen, and as someone who does genealogy, appreciate how much easier it is to trace back roots when the nomenclature is consistent.

Plus, in modern Latina culture, women keep their last names when getting married, but the children have both parents’ paternal last names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hyphens are so eighties

I think you meant 90s?

Nobody hyphenated in the 80s. Nobody.

Signed,

I hyphenated my name in the late 90s

And my mom did it in 1976...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hyphens are so eighties

I think you meant 90s?

Nobody hyphenated in the 80s. Nobody.

Signed,

I hyphenated my name in the late 90s

And my mom did it in 1976...

A lot of my patents’ friends who married in the 80s hyphenated their names upon marriage. It was very common in the community I grew up in to the point that I wished my parents had done it too so I could have a hyphenated name like the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hyphens are so eighties

I think you meant 90s?

Nobody hyphenated in the 80s. Nobody.

Signed,

I hyphenated my name in the late 90s

And my mom did it in 1976...

A lot of my patents’ friends who married in the 80s hyphenated their names upon marriage. It was very common in the community I grew up in to the point that I wished my parents had done it too so I could have a hyphenated name like the other kids.

*parents’ not patents’

[Anonymous]

I was in my 20s in the 80s and half of my college friends who got married in that decade hyphenated their names. The other half kept their own names. I kept my own. None of my own personal friends changed their names to their husband's name.

My kids have my name and we gave them my husband's name as their middle name. So my 3 kids all have the same middle name. I married a good feminist guy!

All of those same friends gave their kids their husbands' surname but gave them the mothers' name as the middle name.

[Anonymous]

I kept my cumbersome last name (hyphenated since birth) because it is my last name— and also very unique. I guess the weirdos here would say it’s a combination of my paternal grandfather’s name and my father’s but whatever.

I gave my kid her father’s last name because she is biracial and I am white and it’s really important to me that she is aligned with her father’s culture. His last name is distinctively indigenous to his country of origin. I gave a lot of thought to this and perhaps would have hyphenated if that wouldn’t have meant three last names! But as it would have, I went with his last name and my double-last name as her middle name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my cumbersome last name (hyphenated since birth) because it is my last name— and also very unique. I guess the weirdos here would say it’s a combination of my paternal grandfather’s name and my father’s but whatever.

I gave my kid her father’s last name because she is biracial and I am white and it’s really important to me that she is aligned with her father’s culture. His last name is distinctively indigenous to his country of origin. I gave a lot of thought to this and perhaps would have hyphenated if that wouldn’t have meant three last names! But as it would have, I went with his last name and my double-last name as her middle name.

So everyone still got their name from a male. Except you don’t have the benefit of sharing your name with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my cumbersome last name (hyphenated since birth) because it is my last name— and also very unique. I guess the weirdos here would say it’s a combination of my paternal grandfather’s name and my father’s but whatever.

I gave my kid her father’s last name because she is biracial and I am white and it’s really important to me that she is aligned with her father’s culture. His last name is distinctively indigenous to his country of origin. I gave a lot of thought to this and perhaps would have hyphenated if that wouldn’t have meant three last names! But as it would have, I went with his last name and my double-last name as her middle name.

So everyone still got their name from a male. Except you don’t have the benefit of sharing your name with your husband.

DP. What benefits would those be...approval from shrews like you?

[Anonymous]

They (kids) got both my last name and DH's

[Anonymous]

Stop it with the middle name business. It doesn’t count as some kind of feminist statement. No one ever knows or cares what your middle name is u less you are a high school year book editor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the middle name business. It doesn’t count as some kind of feminist statement. No one ever knows or cares what your middle name is u less you are a high school year book editor.

I did not do this personally (my last name as a middle name for my children), but I'm guessing they didn't do it as a feminist statement or because they care about anyone else's approval. Get down off your high horse.

What I do not get are people like OP or PP who feel the need to chime in about this choice. How does it affect you in any way? Why do you care so much that you come on here and snipe? Suggests some issue with you that you need to resolve.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses, but I will say that my DH wanted some of our kids to have his name and some to have mine. He advocated hard for this, but it seemed too confusing. Sometimes I wish I had gone along with his proposal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the middle name business. It doesn’t count as some kind of feminist statement. No one ever knows or cares what your middle name is u less you are a high school year book editor.

I did not do this personally (my last name as a middle name for my children), but I'm guessing they didn't do it as a feminist statement or because they care about anyone else's approval. Get down off your high horse.

What I do not get are people like OP or PP who feel the need to chime in about this choice. How does it affect you in any way? Why do you care so much that you come on here and snipe? Suggests some issue with you that you need to resolve.

[/quote


It’s an anonymous website. I would never call out my friends on their stupid choices, but I can vent here it’s great. The middle name
Stuff is bull shit. If you are confident in your choice, you won’t care about my opinion. And yes, I’m fact, I am right about this. It’s bull shit feminism to give your kid your father’s last name as their middle name and somehow claim that is a equal to reclaiming a “sir” name. Maybe I’m radical, but I’m so fing tired of all these liberal arts school feminist getting precious about their Daddy’s last name. Why do you care what I care about. I’m also very passionate about my diet soda preferences (diet Barq’s or bust) and no one calls me out for being on a high horse about that stuff. I’m allowed to have an opinion on this. Opinions are totally free and allowed. I also prefer the color blue.