For women who didn't change their names, but gave their children their husband's last name...

[Anonymous]

Odd situation but my husband has a very long ethnic name. I didn't want to deal with it (spelling, pronunciation, etc)

For our kids names, we had picked out the following combos for the different genders:
Ethnic first name + my last name and
Very common western name + his last name

I wanted them to have some part of his ethnicity in their names.

[Anonymous]

didn’t change my name bc I’m lazy and I didn’t want to. Didn’t care about passing it on to my kids bc it’s johnson and the world isn’t running out of us, whereas DHs last name is exceedingly rare even in his family’s country of origin. Has caused us exactly 0 problems ever bc we never encounter concern trolling morons like OP in real life

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want the hassle of legally changing it. I’ve considered adopting a combined last name socially and professionally because I think it sounds nice, but I will never legally change it at this point almost 15 years into my marriage. And I’ve never had any issues because my last name is different from my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bite. I wasn't out to fight the patriarchy when I decided to keep my name. It just completely weirded me out to go by a completely different last name. Plus, my given name does not go well with my husband's last name.

TL;DR - didn't want a new last name so I kept mine.

This is my reason too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married late and was professionally known by my maiden name. Wanted to keep it and also didn’t want to go through paperwork to change. Had no problem with kids taking their dad’s name.

+1 for me also. I’m professionally known by my last name and proud to have earned my advanced degree with it. Too much hassle trying to change everything and DH had no problems with me not changing it.

I also don’t have a problem with our DS having my DH’s last name. It was more important to DH since his brother had 2 girls so our DS would be carrying on his family name. My brother has 2 boys so no issue with carrying on my family’s name.

[Anonymous]

When I got married, I already had a name so I kept it. When my children were born, they didn't have names and tradition dictates that they get dad's last name so we did that. My oldest has my last name as a middle but the others do not.

[Anonymous]

For me it's practical. I am a feminist, and that influenced why I didn't change my name...but mostly I didn't change it because I was in my 30s, professionally established with publications, and I have an ethnic name that sounds masculine and would have even moreso with DH's last name. I also know that men have a more difficult time traveling with children who don't share their last name than women do, so I figured it would be easier if the kids had his last name. I briefly considered hyphenating, but DH's last name has punctuation, which would have created a huge extra headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it's practical. I am a feminist, and that influenced why I didn't change my name...but mostly I didn't change it because I was in my 30s, professionally established with publications, and I have an ethnic name that sounds masculine and would have even moreso with DH's last name. I also know that men have a more difficult time traveling with children who don't share their last name than women do, so I figured it would be easier if the kids had his last name. I briefly considered hyphenating, but DH's last name has punctuation, which would have created a huge extra headache.

I was the same, but I kept my maiden name as a middle name and used all three professionally. It worked. For family stuff and kid stuff, I just use the family name.

[Anonymous]

What a bizarre question. I was born and given a name I liked, and one I became known by. I saw no reason to change it. My kids were given a name shortly after birth that included my husband’s last name, which is more melodious than mine. If they like it, they can keep it, or they can change it. Why is this very personal thing of interest to anyone else?

[Anonymous]

There was no easy answer to this one for us. It came down to the fact that it was a lot more meaningful for my DH. It was not driven by logic or reason or fairness, but what felt right for our family. She does have my last name as a second middle name.

All in all, it has not been an issue and I am not bothered by it. One of DH's reasons was to have that extra connection with our DD, whereas I as "mom" would always be tied to her. I have to say this has held true. Not that he's not bonded to her, but this extra connection is nice for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our children have my name. I kept my maiden name. DH is the odd person in the house.

LOL, what a cuck.

On the contrary, I admire someone who is strong and confident enough to flout convention.

[Anonymous]

Because I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

NP - They get their own identity with their own name at birth.

+1. I kept my identity, and my kids start off with their own identities.

[Anonymous]

I kept my name and hyphenated DD’s but it’s far from a perfect solution because her name is pretty unwieldy and she will eventually have to decide what to do if she marries or has kids.

[Anonymous]

We did both names but my husband suggested my last name only.