Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms—It Happened to Me Too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Everyone keeps missing this very important point: THEY WERE NEVER DISINVITED.

The mom disinvited herself, and called the rest of her family members and told them not to go either. The son and wife tried to reach out to her several times.

Can you actually read? Literally none of that happened. You made that entirely up.

Talk about personality disorder....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Everyone keeps missing this very important point: THEY WERE NEVER DISINVITED.

The mom disinvited herself, and called the rest of her family members and told them not to go either. The son and wife tried to reach out to her several times.

Can you actually read? Literally none of that happened. You made that entirely up.

Talk about personality disorder....

I guess you didn’t read the Reddit thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Where does it say they were disinvited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Where does it say they were disinvited?

Quote from article, which also indicates that she also did not tell others not to go.

When Dan did call again, it wasn't to apologize or explain. He called to confirm that we wouldn't be at the wedding. When he said he was just confirming that we would not be at the wedding, and that they needed to know for "the plates," tears slid down my cheeks. I was his mother, diminished to a number on a catering order.

After that, I had no choice but to call our relatives who'd been invited and try to explain why we were no longer going to Dan's wedding. Of course there were questions: "What happened?" Estrangement triggers so much shame, especially when the answer you're left with is, "I'm not sure." It feels like everyone is making judgments about you, believing you must have done some awful thing. There were a couple relatives who immediately rallied and said, "Something's going on. Do you think she wants him all to herself?" Statements like that were supportive and kind. And my thought was, I don't know, but I'm not going to say anything bad about anybody.

Secondly, the comment by MIL about discussing it with anyone because people will assume "you've done something awful" is exactly what all the commentary is here and on Reddit. So, then when she does do that, that's exactly what people do. If the DIL wrote about it, she'd be a heroine. She'd be lauded for her assertiveness and bravery. Not MIL- everyone goes straight to personality disorder. How ridiculous.
Lastly, if you are making decisions from the Reddit subthread, you are forming opinions from other's comments, not the original source. A Reddit thread is only commentary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to point out that it's really interesting to me that this woman's article is just a screaming red flag to so many people. It's all the people who have had to manage someone with this type of personality disorder. The most interesting thing is just how freaking similar all the traits and behaviors are. It is freaky.

So I had never really had to deal with someone with a personality disorder before until I was 32. So I was a sitting duck, and I was completely on the side of the person with the personality disorder. I wondered why all her family members kept her at a distance. I got sucked in. I'd say it took me a good 10 years to free myself and establish healthy boundaries.

So knowing what I know with people with personality disorders - this woman actually has zero self-awareness of her own culpability while at the same time feeling tremendous guilt. She actually does NOT remember what happened, she has her own hazy fictitious memory of how things happened in her own mind. She feels very much the victim. She will not stop until she feels she can get all the family members, and now the public at large, on her side to see her as the victim, and the son and daughter in law as the enemies. She really believes everything she is saying.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Where does it say they were disinvited?

Quote from article, which also indicates that she also did not tell others not to go.

When Dan did call again, it wasn't to apologize or explain. He called to confirm that we wouldn't be at the wedding. When he said he was just confirming that we would not be at the wedding, and that they needed to know for "the plates," tears slid down my cheeks. I was his mother, diminished to a number on a catering order.

After that, I had no choice but to call our relatives who'd been invited and try to explain why we were no longer going to Dan's wedding. Of course there were questions: "What happened?" Estrangement triggers so much shame, especially when the answer you're left with is, "I'm not sure." It feels like everyone is making judgments about you, believing you must have done some awful thing. There were a couple relatives who immediately rallied and said, "Something's going on. Do you think she wants him all to herself?" Statements like that were supportive and kind. And my thought was, I don't know, but I'm not going to say anything bad about anybody.

Secondly, the comment by MIL about discussing it with anyone because people will assume "you've done something awful" is exactly what all the commentary is here and on Reddit. So, then when she does do that, that's exactly what people do. If the DIL wrote about it, she'd be a heroine. She'd be lauded for her assertiveness and bravery. Not MIL- everyone goes straight to personality disorder. How ridiculous.
Lastly, if you are making decisions from the Reddit subthread, you are forming opinions from other's comments, not the original source. A Reddit thread is only commentary.

So, where does it say they were disinvited?

The mom doesn't even say she was uninvited. If she were, you know she'd be loud and clear about it.

She wasn't uninvited. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

So you are willing to believe the DIL but not the MIL. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. Just because the DIL gave a version doesn't make it truth. The MIL may not be perfect but I still find it odd that the son and DIL come back after years of estrangement and the wedding fiasco and will not talk about what went wrong. I find that odd, really odd. I think it's natural to want to know why someone cut you off for years. I mean you would want to know what you did wrong or talk about it, it wasn't days, weeks or even months it was years. You would think the son and DIL would want closure. It seems that the son and DIL suddenly appeared years later and wanted to pretend that nothing happened, they certainly are not innocent in all of this.

I'm also not a MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

So you are willing to believe the DIL but not the MIL. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. Just because the DIL gave a version doesn't make it truth. The MIL may not be perfect but I still find it odd that the son and DIL come back after years of estrangement and the wedding fiasco and will not talk about what went wrong. I find that odd, really odd. I think it's natural to want to know why someone cut you off for years. I mean you would want to know what you did wrong or talk about it, it wasn't days, weeks or even months it was years. You would think the son and DIL would want closure. It seems that the son and DIL suddenly appeared years later and wanted to pretend that nothing happened, they certainly are not innocent in all of this.

I'm also not a MIL.

Think about the fact that the mother went on to publish not one, but two books, with her real name and photo, telling all the public about how her son and and daughter “inexplicably” cut her off, while she still enjoys being a part of all her other children’s lives. Who, pray tell, is trying to paint who as the persecuter here? She put her son and daughter-in-law out there for public judgment herself.

Knowing someone with a personality disorder, this is pretty much the exact script and playbook. Alienate the person(s) you feel rejected by, turn everyone else against them, and make it sound as though you are the victim and they are the nutty ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

So you are willing to believe the DIL but not the MIL. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. Just because the DIL gave a version doesn't make it truth. The MIL may not be perfect but I still find it odd that the son and DIL come back after years of estrangement and the wedding fiasco and will not talk about what went wrong. I find that odd, really odd. I think it's natural to want to know why someone cut you off for years. I mean you would want to know what you did wrong or talk about it, it wasn't days, weeks or even months it was years. You would think the son and DIL would want closure. It seems that the son and DIL suddenly appeared years later and wanted to pretend that nothing happened, they certainly are not innocent in all of this.

I'm also not a MIL.

Think about the fact that the mother went on to publish not one, but two books, with her real name and photo, telling all the public about how her son and and daughter “inexplicably” cut her off, while she still enjoys being a part of all her other children’s lives. Who, pray tell, is trying to paint who as the persecuter here? She put her son and daughter-in-law out there for public judgment herself.

Knowing someone with a personality disorder, this is pretty much the exact script and playbook. Alienate the person(s) you feel rejected by, turn everyone else against them, and make it sound as though you are the victim and they are the nutty ones.

Also she has the added weapon of the gift of writing skills to really make her manipulation of the story so much more effective. I mean, I really do stand in awe of her power, while also feeling some compassion for her that this cannot be a peaceful way to live for her. And it is always that way. This woman holds tremendous power within her whole family. She has ostracized his son and robbed him of a relationship of his entire family. It is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Keep up, they didn't disinvite the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

So you are willing to believe the DIL but not the MIL. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. Just because the DIL gave a version doesn't make it truth. The MIL may not be perfect but I still find it odd that the son and DIL come back after years of estrangement and the wedding fiasco and will not talk about what went wrong. I find that odd, really odd. I think it's natural to want to know why someone cut you off for years. I mean you would want to know what you did wrong or talk about it, it wasn't days, weeks or even months it was years. You would think the son and DIL would want closure. It seems that the son and DIL suddenly appeared years later and wanted to pretend that nothing happened, they certainly are not innocent in all of this.

I'm also not a MIL.

Think about the fact that the mother went on to publish not one, but two books, with her real name and photo, telling all the public about how her son and and daughter “inexplicably” cut her off, while she still enjoys being a part of all her other children’s lives. Who, pray tell, is trying to paint who as the persecuter here? She put her son and daughter-in-law out there for public judgment herself.

Knowing someone with a personality disorder, this is pretty much the exact script and playbook. Alienate the person(s) you feel rejected by, turn everyone else against them, and make it sound as though you are the victim and they are the nutty ones.

x1,000

If you haven't lived through this and dealt with someone like this, you just don't understand. And you probably wouldn't believe it if you heard it about someone you knew until you heard the whole story. People like this are so good at spinning tales and convincing others of a reality that doesn't exist.

I really hope you never have to go through this, but if you did, you would understand why so many people reacted so strongly to this article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Where does it say they were disinvited?

Quote from article, which also indicates that she also did not tell others not to go.

When Dan did call again, it wasn't to apologize or explain. He called to confirm that we wouldn't be at the wedding. When he said he was just confirming that we would not be at the wedding, and that they needed to know for "the plates," tears slid down my cheeks. I was his mother, diminished to a number on a catering order.

After that, I had no choice but to call our relatives who'd been invited and try to explain why we were no longer going to Dan's wedding. Of course there were questions: "What happened?" Estrangement triggers so much shame, especially when the answer you're left with is, "I'm not sure." It feels like everyone is making judgments about you, believing you must have done some awful thing. There were a couple relatives who immediately rallied and said, "Something's going on. Do you think she wants him all to herself?" Statements like that were supportive and kind. And my thought was, I don't know, but I'm not going to say anything bad about anybody.

Secondly, the comment by MIL about discussing it with anyone because people will assume "you've done something awful" is exactly what all the commentary is here and on Reddit. So, then when she does do that, that's exactly what people do. If the DIL wrote about it, she'd be a heroine. She'd be lauded for her assertiveness and bravery. Not MIL- everyone goes straight to personality disorder. How ridiculous.
Lastly, if you are making decisions from the Reddit subthread, you are forming opinions from other's comments, not the original source. A Reddit thread is only commentary.

DP. Calling someone to confirm they aren’t coming isn’t the same thing as disinviting. Seems more likely what you would do if someone has already indicated they won’t come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the article it says very early on the son starts comparing his family to his fiancé's family. My MIL did this shortly after I married DH. She would compare her family with mine. My MIL was mentally unstable or emotionally immature, whatever you want to call it, she caused a lot of drama and problems.

I think there were issues with the new DIL who didn't want to share with a new family.

I think this because at the end when the family wanted to know what was wrong, the couple wanted to rug sweep it and not talk about it. Mentally unstable people do this, they don't talk about issues. I mean you have this massive estrangement with someone but you won't or can't talk about it - the person who can't or won't talk is the problem, so in this case it's the son and DIL. I honestly think they won't talk because they know they will get hit with the truth and they can't handle that.

You’re assuming her framing is true. From what the DIL said it sounds like very little here is accurate.

What?

LOL, looks like the MIL finally found this thread. years later.

No, but probably several MILs who deal with toxic and mentally ill DIL and SILs. I know a few. It wasn't until a school got involved that the world knew what DIL was like behind closed doors. Narcissists are really really good at presenting one facade and acting in another behind the scenes. But it never lasts, eventually it comes out.

I am not a MIL, or DIL, but I am with Mom on this one. And she probably helped a lot of her peers who deal with this very painful subject. In this one family, the parents were almost destroyed by grief. Sorry, there was no reason in this story to actually disinvite his parents. None.

Where does it say they were disinvited?

Quote from article, which also indicates that she also did not tell others not to go.

When Dan did call again, it wasn't to apologize or explain. He called to confirm that we wouldn't be at the wedding. When he said he was just confirming that we would not be at the wedding, and that they needed to know for "the plates," tears slid down my cheeks. I was his mother, diminished to a number on a catering order.

After that, I had no choice but to call our relatives who'd been invited and try to explain why we were no longer going to Dan's wedding. Of course there were questions: "What happened?" Estrangement triggers so much shame, especially when the answer you're left with is, "I'm not sure." It feels like everyone is making judgments about you, believing you must have done some awful thing. There were a couple relatives who immediately rallied and said, "Something's going on. Do you think she wants him all to herself?" Statements like that were supportive and kind. And my thought was, I don't know, but I'm not going to say anything bad about anybody.

Secondly, the comment by MIL about discussing it with anyone because people will assume "you've done something awful" is exactly what all the commentary is here and on Reddit. So, then when she does do that, that's exactly what people do. If the DIL wrote about it, she'd be a heroine. She'd be lauded for her assertiveness and bravery. Not MIL- everyone goes straight to personality disorder. How ridiculous.
Lastly, if you are making decisions from the Reddit subthread, you are forming opinions from other's comments, not the original source. A Reddit thread is only commentary.

DP. Calling someone to confirm they aren’t coming isn’t the same thing as disinviting. Seems more likely what you would do if someone has already indicated they won’t come.

Further, MIL says he's getting this confirmation for the purposes of plates. So yeah, MIL already said no, and it sounds like he's even giving her a chance to back in before he tells the caterer their final numbers.

If son disinvited his mother, he would know the number for plates. He wouldn't need to call her about plates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Reddit thread is from the source itself: the DIL.

So you are willing to believe the DIL but not the MIL. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. Just because the DIL gave a version doesn't make it truth. The MIL may not be perfect but I still find it odd that the son and DIL come back after years of estrangement and the wedding fiasco and will not talk about what went wrong. I find that odd, really odd. I think it's natural to want to know why someone cut you off for years. I mean you would want to know what you did wrong or talk about it, it wasn't days, weeks or even months it was years. You would think the son and DIL would want closure. It seems that the son and DIL suddenly appeared years later and wanted to pretend that nothing happened, they certainly are not innocent in all of this.

I'm also not a MIL.

Think about the fact that the mother went on to publish not one, but two books, with her real name and photo, telling all the public about how her son and and daughter “inexplicably” cut her off, while she still enjoys being a part of all her other children’s lives. Who, pray tell, is trying to paint who as the persecuter here? She put her son and daughter-in-law out there for public judgment herself.

Knowing someone with a personality disorder, this is pretty much the exact script and playbook. Alienate the person(s) you feel rejected by, turn everyone else against them, and make it sound as though you are the victim and they are the nutty ones.

x1,000

If you haven't lived through this and dealt with someone like this, you just don't understand. And you probably wouldn't believe it if you heard it about someone you knew until you heard the whole story. People like this are so good at spinning tales and convincing others of a reality that doesn't exist.

I really hope you never have to go through this, but if you did, you would understand why so many people reacted so strongly to this article.

Amen. It’s so hard for people to understand because it’s so hard for people to imagine parents rejecting a child or acting against a child’s best interests. But guess what? Kids with personality disorders grow up to be parents with personality disorders. It doesn’t go away if the person doesn’t acknowledge the problem and seek help.