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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My DW has girls nights all the time and never, ever comes home raring to go.  Nor after date night.  The only time she shows some desire for sex before we get started is on vacation without the kids, which happens one, maybe two weekend a year.

I get this is hard to fathom in an otherwise good marriage where no one got out of shape and there is no resentment.  It happens to a lot of women, notice the men on the board who honestly have no idea what happened to the sexual vixen they married (after the kids come along).  [/quote]

I couldn't say if it happens to a lot of woman (though I suspect it does), but this accurately describes my wife as well. None of the usual reasons usually given by women on these boards really seems to apply in our case. She says she doesn't know, doesn't think it's my fault, wants to want to have sex, but just doesn't. Consequently, there's a lot of porn in my life. So, the orgasms are there, but I do miss the feeling of connection and the feeling that my wife wants me. [/quote]

I commiserate with your DW. Since having my DC my drive is nonexistent. DH and I have sex twice a week, we both orgasm, but I pretty much never initiate anymore. I do enjoy it once we get going but I don't crave sex, not with him or anyone. My DH feels like I don't want him anymore, and that hurts him. He appreciates that i still make an effort, but he wishes I wanted it as badly as he does.

My biggest issue is that I carry all the mental load stuff, and I'm tired of feeling like I have to plan/remember everything. He tells me how he appreciates all that I do and that he'd be lost without me, but I wish he was more aware of what needs to be done and when, without my having to tell him. I think this definitely doesn't help my sex drive, feeling stressed constantly and consumed by our family to do list.

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