Getting married in a month and I can't decide if I want to take his last name
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Anonymous
| *wouldn't tell hubby that |
Anonymous
I changed my name when dc was a year and a half old, two and a half years into our marriage. So you can always change it later if you don't do it now 
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Anonymous
| When in doubt don't! Glad I kept my last name. |
Anonymous
|
DON'T DO IT.
KEEP YOUR NAME!!! |
Anonymous
| Too late, you goofballs. She dredged up the thread to post her update. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| What a fascinating thread. I live in the Midwest and everyone takes their husbands name. Never knew this was a thing outside the medical profession. |
Anonymous
| You don't have to decide when you get married...you can change it at anytime. |
Anonymous
If you're even still reading after this many posts, OP....NP here and this is our family too. I have a rather unusual last name that I happen to like (despite the fact it gets misspelled a lot; I really don't care). I like my DH's short, simple last name too but kept my own; DD has his last name. I did not adopt any part of DH's name as a middle name, though. We travel a lot including international travel and never once have I had anyone question whether I am related to DD and DH. I think it's only the U.S. where we get hung up and confused about couples with different names or a parent and child with different names; in Europe this has never once happened to us, and in many countries, the mother and father, if married, may still have different surnames. I don't mind at all if someone addresses me as "Mrs. Jones" because they know DD's and DH's name is "Jones." I like it, in fact, and always say I'm happy to be a "Jones" too, even if not legally on paper. Teachers sometimes address me that way if they don't know me, and my DD's friends (teenagers) mostly know to call me Ms. Smith, but I don't correct or even notice much if one calls me Mrs. Jones. My darling in-laws have never once commented on my keeping my name -- but it probably helps that my husband's sister also kept her name when she married! I was in a profession where many women tend to keep their own names when they marry because they have established bylines (journalism and other writing) and while that influenced my choice a little, mostly I just like my persnickety long name, and it makes me think of my late parents. OP, don't let the thought of name change (or not) stress you out in a new marriage. Keep yours if you want and give kids your DH's name or your own name -- either way. I do think that creating a totally new name can also create some issues. I know two couples I know who did that--not hyphenates of their surnames but invented new names with parts of each name, such as Smith and Jones getting married and both legally changing to "Smijo" (not a real example but close to what these couples did). Both couples said it was tough for families and employers to wrap their heads around and some never quite got it, but that's really the problem of other people -- not the couple themselves. |
Anonymous
| I am very glad I didn't change my name and honestly judge my friends who did. |
Anonymous
Seriously? |
Anonymous
If you really think about it, it's pretty archaic. Either way it's only up to the woman and a personal choice. |
Anonymous
I changed my name and I live in DC and am a successful professional. While the origins might be archaic (much like the origins of marriage and many other societal norms are archaic) there is nothing gained by disparaging the choice of other women. This is an old thread someone revived for no reason and I believe I posted way back in the day when it was first posted, but I changed my name because I grew up in a household where I was the only person with my last name. I was the only child from a previous marriage and my mother changed her name again when she remarried. I really hated that experience and wanted to raise my children in a household where we all shared a name. My husband told me he'd consider changing his if I asked but I didn't really care so I went with what was easiest. To frame that type of perfectly logical non-misogynistic choice as archaic is very insulting to many women. |
Anonymous
Yes seriously. |
Anonymous
| If you don't change your last name why should he have to wear a ring? |