Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

If the guy cannot get up one night to deal with a nosebleed, he needs to seek medical help. That is insane and very wimpy and lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

You think it takes 2 adults to manage 1 nosebleed? What does that say about the person who called for help? Does it take multiple hands to hold a tissue to nose? Does OP need help screwing in a light bulb too? If it was the husband who needed help managing this minor problem I’m sure people would have choice words for him.

[Anonymous]

OP here, not sure where the vasectomy comment came from. They are both our biological children. Also, I have considered divorce but I would not want him to be alone with the kids 50% of the time, so that’s not an option. In the meantime I think therapy and possibly medication are good ideas. I know he had an extremely low opinion of using antidepressants long term (he thinks people are using them to avoid working on their issues), so we’ll see if he agrees to it.

Also, I don’t think he would actually hurt the toddler but he might yell and just generally be scary and then get overwhelmed / upset. Then when I got home I’d have to calm both him down and the toddler down. This is generally the way our parenting dynamic works now and it’s so upsetting.

I had no idea he would be like this with his kids. I married him because he was a kind person who goes out of his way to be there for his friends and family. But he had an angry dad growing up who turned out to be depressed and is doing better now that he’s medicated, and so here we are, family history repeating I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

You think it takes 2 adults to manage 1 nosebleed? What does that say about the person who called for help? Does it take multiple hands to hold a tissue to nose? Does OP need help screwing in a light bulb too? If it was the husband who needed help managing this minor problem I’m sure people would have choice words for him.

The husband does need help managing this minor problem. He cannot do it without freaking out on a toddler.

He is an angry man-child.

[Anonymous]

I had no idea he would be like this with his kids. I married him because he was a kind person who goes out of his way to be there for his friends and family.

This is every failed marriage.

Men who appear to be good fathers/husbands are red flags. Avoid these men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

In my home, we both want to care for our kids, especially when they are hurt or sick. Neither dh nor I would lay in bed while our kids are in need. Like other pps, my dh is not an ahole. He wouldn't be ableto sleep or lay in bed if our kid was crying, no matter how tired. We divide and conquer. The kids feel comforted and cared for by both parents at all times, as it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

You think it takes 2 adults to manage 1 nosebleed? What does that say about the person who called for help? Does it take multiple hands to hold a tissue to nose? Does OP need help screwing in a light bulb too? If it was the husband who needed help managing this minor problem I’m sure people would have choice words for him.

The husband does need help managing this minor problem. He cannot do it without freaking out on a toddler.

He is an angry man-child.

So tell him to go back to bed because you have it. He’s the one with a job and an early start. This was a minor problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

In my home, we both want to care for our kids, especially when they are hurt or sick. Neither dh nor I would lay in bed while our kids are in need. Like other pps, my dh is not an ahole. He wouldn't be ableto sleep or lay in bed if our kid was crying, no matter how tired. We divide and conquer. The kids feel comforted and cared for by both parents at all times, as it should be.

Both being there at all times is the opposite of divide and conquer. I do most of the hands on care, but I don’t do blood and guts. We both have things we do well and things we don’t. When cuts need cleaning or bandaging or there’s a trip to ER for a busted chin, that’s not my expertise. I will let my husband take those. Plus someone has to stay home with ther other kids, an ER trip is not a family outing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

You think it takes 2 adults to manage 1 nosebleed? What does that say about the person who called for help? Does it take multiple hands to hold a tissue to nose? Does OP need help screwing in a light bulb too? If it was the husband who needed help managing this minor problem I’m sure people would have choice words for him.

The husband does need help managing this minor problem. He cannot do it without freaking out on a toddler.

He is an angry man-child.

So tell him to go back to bed because you have it. He’s the one with a job and an early start. This was a minor problem.

I would do no such thing. My husband would want to help. Because they are his kids and he cares about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

This may be the dumbest thing I've read here. A normal, healthy father with two small children and a wife nursing will step up and take care of injured children because he loves them and cares for them. OP married a douchebag and will have to make some choices. This is a nightmare situation for small kids who have to grow up with a father with no emotional regulation and a terrible temper. Cut the losses and divorce. And insist on anger management and therapy for this cretin before making custody arrangements. Which probably won't be an issue because it sounds like he doesn't actually like his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, not sure where the vasectomy comment came from. They are both our biological children. Also, I have considered divorce but I would not want him to be alone with the kids 50% of the time, so that’s not an option. In the meantime I think therapy and possibly medication are good ideas. I know he had an extremely low opinion of using antidepressants long term (he thinks people are using them to avoid working on their issues), so we’ll see if he agrees to it.

Also, I don’t think he would actually hurt the toddler but he might yell and just generally be scary and then get overwhelmed / upset. Then when I got home I’d have to calm both him down and the toddler down. This is generally the way our parenting dynamic works now and it’s so upsetting.

I had no idea he would be like this with his kids. I married him because he was a kind person who goes out of his way to be there for his friends and family. But he had an angry dad growing up who turned out to be depressed and is doing better now that he’s medicated, and so here we are, family history repeating I guess.

I hear you OP. Similar situation here. DH is a generally very calm person, never lost his temper with me, but once DD was born it was a totally different story. It's been really rough and I am glad we can't have more kids. But it has gotten better after I called out DH's behavior as abusive in a couple of the worst moments and let it be known I will not stand for it. Literally by putting my body between him and the child. When he saw that, I think it really shook him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

Get out of here with this misogyny. You’re disgusting. Children are the responsibility of both parents.

Does OP help her husband with his job?

I don’t work. My husband works a lot. So much. But if one of our kids needs a trip to the ER or one has a bloody nose, he absolutely helps and we decide the best way to divide and conquer with the kids. Because he isn’t an ahole and I am not the only one responsible for the kids. I would bide my time with a husband like OP’s and work on getting financially stable myself. And then leave him when the kids are older.

Where was the cooperation in OPs decision that she stays home with a nursing toddler? She decided that wasx best and send him on his way. People are pointing out that this bedtime routine is part of the problem.

Since I do handle 95% of the kid stuff, my husband would 100% defer to what I thought each of us should do. If I said I wanted to take the kid to the ER, he would say ok. If I said I thought he should do it, he would. We have had to do this sort of thing and my husband defers to me because he knows I am with the kids all of the time and know which will likely go better for everyone. But again, my husband isn’t an ahole. And he would yell at a toddler for having a nose bleed. Even if awoken in the middle of the night. Because, again, not an ahole.

Ok. OP also says “my daughter” all the time. Never “our daughter”. No wonder he doesn’t to do the heavy lifting.

Except that he does. He has a job out of the home. OP's job is to be the stay at home parent. And yet she makes him get up to deal with a nosebleed. Stupid. That's your job, OP. He needs his sleep. You can be a zombie all day at home but he can't do that at work and still expect to support his family.

This may be the dumbest thing I've read here. A normal, healthy father with two small children and a wife nursing will step up and take care of injured children because he loves them and cares for them. OP married a douchebag and will have to make some choices. This is a nightmare situation for small kids who have to grow up with a father with no emotional regulation and a terrible temper. Cut the losses and divorce. And insist on anger management and therapy for this cretin before making custody arrangements. Which probably won't be an issue because it sounds like he doesn't actually like his kids.

What experience do you have with divorcing the father of your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP is a SAHM and she makes her DH get up in the night for a nosebleed????

I am trying to imagine being married to a man so wimpy and delicate that he couldn’t do that without issue. Omg.

You think it takes 2 adults to manage 1 nosebleed? What does that say about the person who called for help? Does it take multiple hands to hold a tissue to nose? Does OP need help screwing in a light bulb too? If it was the husband who needed help managing this minor problem I’m sure people would have choice words for him.

The husband does need help managing this minor problem. He cannot do it without freaking out on a toddler.

He is an angry man-child.

So tell him to go back to bed because you have it. He’s the one with a job and an early start. This was a minor problem.

I would do no such thing. My husband would want to help. Because they are his kids and he cares about them.

This sounds like one of those “too many cooks in the kitchen” and not an all hands on deck sort of emergency. Maybe if there was vomit everywhere and all over the bedding does it require assistance. Does the whole house wake up for a nightmare too?