Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does every DH have to be the main parent. You're the main parent, OP. Just do the parenting and let him do the 1billion other things that also have to get done to run a family.

WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why were you both getting up in the middle of the might to deal with an nose bleed? It sounds like he needs sleep. If you don't work, you can certainly deal with a nosebleed by yourself -- and any other issues that come up in the middle of the night. His behavior is HORRIBLE but I would rule out lack of sleep first.

Can you take turns, week on week off, getting up in the night? No one is at their best when they don't sleep.

You realize that in most families both spouses work, right? We're not Tradwives in Utah, McKenna.

[Anonymous]

OP - I stopped at one child with (now) exH. It ended in really bad abuse, financial emotional and our son drug addiction later in college. ExH didn’t want to seek help I was always at fault for his angry outbursts at us. What’s worse, he’s now dating a 20-years younger woman with 2 young children and puts on an exemplary father facade in front of our adult son, when she visits

It seems like you should stop breastfeeding the toddler and take more functions in your hands to protect your kids. And encourage him to enroll into therapy.

Do you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised the doctor said go to urgent care. They don't deal with potential head injuries, typically. My husband doesn't do those things, but is terrible in an emergency. I would have taken her and he could drive the other kid separately if they ended up needing to nurse, which you could go do in the parking lot if you don't want them exposed to things.

Encourage him to get counseling.

A lot of urgent cares now have concussion "centers" as part of the practice and/or sports injuries specialists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why were you both getting up in the middle of the might to deal with an nose bleed? It sounds like he needs sleep. If you don't work, you can certainly deal with a nosebleed by yourself -- and any other issues that come up in the middle of the night. His behavior is HORRIBLE but I would rule out lack of sleep first.

Can you take turns, week on week off, getting up in the night? No one is at their best when they don't sleep.

Why are you assuming she doesn't work?

Also, getting two people up when a kid throws up or has a nosebleed absolutely makes sense. One parent takes care of the kid, the other parent changes the sheets and cleans up. The goal is to get the kid back to their comfort level as fast as possible. My husband and I both work and this is what we do every time.

[Anonymous]

As a husband and a dad (and I've won no prizes for being a great dad), this is absolutely bonkers. He needs more than help. I can't even imagine what a therapist can do for a person like this. Like how do you get someone to give a sh-t about their own kids? Crazy. I would leave him. Injuries/issues happen all the time. I don't know how you can be in a relationship where you can can't rely on your spouse at all. I'm just thinking...what if you weren't home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you both getting up in the middle of the might to deal with an nose bleed? It sounds like he needs sleep. If you don't work, you can certainly deal with a nosebleed by yourself -- and any other issues that come up in the middle of the night. His behavior is HORRIBLE but I would rule out lack of sleep first.

Can you take turns, week on week off, getting up in the night? No one is at their best when they don't sleep.

You realize that in most families both spouses work, right? We're not Tradwives in Utah, McKenna.

The point is, why does it take two adults to deal with a nose bleed in the middle of the night? You don't have to BOTH be the parent. Let ONE of you get up to deal with the toddler with a nose bleed and let the other one sleep. If I were OP with a DH like hers, that person would be me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you both getting up in the middle of the might to deal with an nose bleed? It sounds like he needs sleep. If you don't work, you can certainly deal with a nosebleed by yourself -- and any other issues that come up in the middle of the night. His behavior is HORRIBLE but I would rule out lack of sleep first.

Can you take turns, week on week off, getting up in the night? No one is at their best when they don't sleep.

You realize that in most families both spouses work, right? We're not Tradwives in Utah, McKenna.

This is a woman who doesn’t want to leave a toddler she’s breast feeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you both getting up in the middle of the might to deal with an nose bleed? It sounds like he needs sleep. If you don't work, you can certainly deal with a nosebleed by yourself -- and any other issues that come up in the middle of the night. His behavior is HORRIBLE but I would rule out lack of sleep first.

Can you take turns, week on week off, getting up in the night? No one is at their best when they don't sleep.

You realize that in most families both spouses work, right? We're not Tradwives in Utah, McKenna.

The point is, why does it take two adults to deal with a nose bleed in the middle of the night? You don't have to BOTH be the parent. Let ONE of you get up to deal with the toddler with a nose bleed and let the other one sleep. If I were OP with a DH like hers, that person would be me.

If the kid came in their room that might have woken them both up.

[Anonymous]

Of course you can get a concussion from a basketball! He’s an idiot in addition to being an ass. Maybe he got hit in the head too many times himself and is a dumb jock with a temper inducing TBI? Was he an athlete?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just really over my husband's inability to control his temper during any kind of stressful parenting situation. Case in point, a couple days ago my 6 yo daughter came home from camp where she had a basketball hit her on the side of the head. Initially she seemed ok but around dinnertime started complaining of severe ear pain and a headache. Called her pediatrician who advised us to go to urgent care to get her checked out. As I'm still breastfeeding a young toddler, my husband was to take her and spent the entire time they were getting ready to go huffing around the house, slamming dresser drawers or whatever, because he was pissed that he had to go, because he didn't think her pain was "that bad" and "nobody gets a concussion from a basketball." Meanwhile this is while I'm comforting my daughter who is in a lot of pain. On the way out he slammed the front door. Cute. Turns out she had a pretty severe injury and ended up vomiting and dizzy and needed to be admitted to the hospital.. she's doing a lot better now but I'm just still so angry when I think about his temper tantrum about taking his injured kid to urgent care.

Oh and a few weeks ago our toddler had a nosebleed in the middle of the night and my husband and I were with him to help, and my husband was just so angry at having been woken up that he was cussing out the toddler,"WTF (toddler name!)! It's the middle of the night! ARRRGHHHH", and stomping around, meanwhile the poor kid can't help that he had a nosebleed and is scared and stressed out already and I'm trying to get both of them to calm down.

These are both medical examples but he loses it during any kind of mundane stress, kid won't get ready for school on time, kid isn't hungry and won't eat at dinner, kid isn't listening, whatever. Just normal everyday parental interactions he manages to get so worked up and makes every situation worse and way more stressful than it needs to be. We use an easy 1,2,3 then time-out strategy at our house when our kids our misbehaving, which works well for them, and he never remembers to use it, just lets himself get super annoyed and angry instead and then blows up. We talk about it and he admits he loses his patience too easily and feels bad but we never get beyond that.

Are you a SAHM? If so, do your job.

[Anonymous]

another man baby who can't father. Sorry OP. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

If OP is breastfeeding a toddler and doesn't want to leave her, she's a stay at home mom. And that means her husband is the sole provider and she needs to let him be and let him sleep. And, yea, she needs to stop the breastfeeding already.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this thread is full of troll or just people who are bonkers.

OP, he obviously has some kind of personality disorder. You can't make someone someone else. Divorce is in your future.