Eye-opening new study on the harms of divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/children-divorce-finance-economy-university-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

DP. I don't blame them. It's hard to admit that you've made a decision that hurt your children. Whatever narrative you need to invent to make that fact go away is going to be very appealing.

[Anonymous]

I was at lunch with close friends last weekend when one of my friends told us that a different close friend X was getting divorced. I just said simply that it made me sad for the kids. My one friend Y (who had divorced parents) became enraged and said that kids are better off with divorce. Obviously some kids are better off with divorced parents if there's substance abuse or too much fighting, but our mutual friend X is divorcing because of an affair, not because they were a bad couple or parents.

I really wanted to ask my friend Y if divorce is so great for kids, then why she and her husband don't get divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

“Single mom?” According to a previous poster, that mere phrase is stolen valor! How dare you!

Now you will need 5 more puppies to atone for your linguistic sins.

Single mom isn’t inherently stolen valor. Just when you’re splitting custody with Dad, like most of you losers do.

Are the people arguing that using the term single mom is stolen valor the same (1) people saying this study shows that all single moms are terrible selfish people? How can you simultaneously (2) believe there is no valor in being a single mom and accuse people using the term of stolen valor?

1. No one has said that.

2. “Stolen valor” refers to those who pretend to be something that they’re not, or to have done something they didn’t do, because they want the attention and accolades reserved for the people who are actually that thing or have done those things.

No one is saying there is no valor in being a single mom. What I am saying is that if you co-parent with Dad, and split custody and bills with Dad, then you are NOT a single mom.

I wouldn’t have used the phrase if I had any idea how clueless some of you are.

[Anonymous]

Dear lord some of you must be so hard to deal with in real life. I’m the single mom that posted the comment about also not having a dog. My ex takes custody two weekends a month and literally does nothing else. So yeah I consider myself a single mom, because I do everything without help. Ex moved two hours away so isn’t even available to help in a pinch if I get sick or something . Do I need to qualify that on each and every post I make??

[Anonymous]

I think people who are insistent that co-parenting moms aren't called single moms are strange. It refers to their marital status and nothing else.

Anyway, I'm a happily married child of two happily married parents and while no one grows up thinking they want to get divorced, sometimes it's the better of two bad choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at lunch with close friends last weekend when one of my friends told us that a different close friend X was getting divorced. I just said simply that it made me sad for the kids. My one friend Y (who had divorced parents) became enraged and said that kids are better off with divorce. Obviously some kids are better off with divorced parents if there's substance abuse or too much fighting, but our mutual friend X is divorcing because of an affair, not because they were a bad couple or parents.

I really wanted to ask my friend Y if divorce is so great for kids, then why she and her husband don't get divorced?

An affair indicates a bad coupling, even if they were great at the beginning. The parent having an affair is a terrible spouse, and having a terrible spouse displayed as the norm is bad for kids, and their future relationships. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/children-divorce-finance-economy-university-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

Actually what there are a LOT of in this thread are adult children of divorced parents who are trying to tell you that their lives improved after their parents divorced.

Yep, she doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to get what you’re saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/children-divorce-finance-economy-university-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

DP. I don't blame them. It's hard to admit that you've made a decision that hurt your children. Whatever narrative you need to invent to make that fact go away is going to be very appealing.

Im sorry you haven’t raised resilient children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at lunch with close friends last weekend when one of my friends told us that a different close friend X was getting divorced. I just said simply that it made me sad for the kids. My one friend Y (who had divorced parents) became enraged and said that kids are better off with divorce. Obviously some kids are better off with divorced parents if there's substance abuse or too much fighting, but our mutual friend X is divorcing because of an affair, not because they were a bad couple or parents.

I really wanted to ask my friend Y if divorce is so great for kids, then why she and her husband don't get divorced?

An affair indicates a bad coupling, even if they were great at the beginning. The parent having an affair is a terrible spouse, and having a terrible spouse displayed as the norm is bad for kids, and their future relationships. .

Bingo. Thank you. You’re right. It’s much worse for the kids to stay in that relationship. It’s much better to model for them that you won’t allow someone to break marital vows and they shouldn’t allow someone to treat them poorly either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/children-divorce-finance-economy-university-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

DP. I don't blame them. It's hard to admit that you've made a decision that hurt your children. Whatever narrative you need to invent to make that fact go away is going to be very appealing.

Yeah, you and I wouldn’t be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/children-divorce-finance-economy-university-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

DP. I don't blame them. It's hard to admit that you've made a decision that hurt your children. Whatever narrative you need to invent to make that fact go away is going to be very appealing.

Yeah, you and I wouldn’t be friends.

I don’t know anyone in real life that would relate to the way she thinks or would want to hang with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at lunch with close friends last weekend when one of my friends told us that a different close friend X was getting divorced. I just said simply that it made me sad for the kids. My one friend Y (who had divorced parents) became enraged and said that kids are better off with divorce. Obviously some kids are better off with divorced parents if there's substance abuse or too much fighting, but our mutual friend X is divorcing because of an affair, not because they were a bad couple or parents.

I really wanted to ask my friend Y if divorce is so great for kids, then why she and her husband don't get divorced?

An affair indicates a bad coupling, even if they were great at the beginning. The parent having an affair is a terrible spouse, and having a terrible spouse displayed as the norm is bad for kids, and their future relationships. .

I would say it’s more complicated than that. Sometimes there are untreated mental health issues at play.

[Anonymous]

No surprise there.

[Anonymous]

The only thing worse than my parents' divorce was the years they spent married while one was having an affair, and we ALL knew it. Talk about a (covert) high conflict household, walking on eggshells, pretending to be a normal/happy family....

Also horrible, literally decades later, there is still fall out. Remember this when you think about having an affair

[Anonymous]

It's either the kids suffer or the adults will suffer.
Some people think the kids have limited memories and are resilient and will come out of it on a positive side but not all parents believe that. If the adult has maxed out, they won't be able to be the parents the kids deserve. And if they remain in the relationship, they will always be upset or sad or worse and do you want your kids to see that type of suffering? Maybe, maybe not.

It's a tough decision for sure.