Eye-opening new study on the harms of divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is so much meanness and punching down on this thread. None of us is perfect, and a lot of things in this life are out of our control. You can feel great about your marriage today and pat yourself on the back for choosing well and then find out tomorrow that your husband is cheating or has been hiding a gambling addiction or has realized they are gay.

It’s reasonable to discuss the impact of divorce on children and how to mitigate potential issues, but I don’t see that here. I see a bunch of jerks being mean to single moms.

Give grace and be nice. You might need it yourself some day.

There’s actually a fair amount of simmering fear in this thread. Smugness is usually a form of storytelling, to oneself above all. It’s a way of reassuring yourself that you are safe, that the bad things that happen to others won’t and can’t happen to you, because you’ve done it “right.”

You mean like the story that you’re telling yourself that not only are your kids fine being shuttled between two homes, they’re actually better off that way!

Dude, I’m one of the happily married kids of divorced parents who was happier after my parents’ divorce than I was before.

Their divorce felt like breathing fresh air after a lifetime of gasping for breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay married for each other, never for the kids because they can see right through a sham marriage.

If there’s no actual abuse, kids don’t actually give a shit about mommy and daddy’s sham marriage, nor should they.

Exactly.

Yea, but it’s important for me to model to the kids that you don’t have to spend 25 years settling for a marriage that no longer works.
They shouldn’t be married just to be married and if it’s not adding happiness then it’s ok to move on.

So it’s important for you to model irredeemably selfish behavior for your kids? Mommy chose to have kids with Daddy, but now she’s bored so the kids can just deal with it? Mommy’s happiness is more important than their happiness?

Okay.

Nope, it’s a loveless relationship where two people are living like roommates with no romantic interest whatsoever, anymore and lots of relationships are like this and I’ll teach my kids that it’s lonlier in a bad relationship than to be on your own.

Again, you should be more concerned with your kids’ happiness rather than expecting them to be concerned with yours. All you’re teaching your kids is that they should always look out for #1 above everyone, including their own kids someday.

You’re the type of casual divorcee that people are talking about on this thread. Put the burden on your children instead of yourself because they’re so resilient, meanwhile feeling no obligation to exhibit some resilience yourself. Selfish.

I’m not a divorced person but can completely see why people get divorced and I think it’s more important to exhibit a good relationship to them and it’s more of a burden for them to witness a loveless relationship (yes, they can see it and feel it) than to get divorced and find happiness because a happy mom will benefit your kids more. It’s selfish to constantly be pretending in front of them and live in a fraudulent way in front of them every day.
If you raise a kid with confidence than they will know you’re not divorcing them but each other. My parents divorced when I was a teenager and I was ok with it because my dad had a bad temper and my mom was unhappy.
She got divorced and was more confident, herself, after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is so much meanness and punching down on this thread. None of us is perfect, and a lot of things in this life are out of our control. You can feel great about your marriage today and pat yourself on the back for choosing well and then find out tomorrow that your husband is cheating or has been hiding a gambling addiction or has realized they are gay.

It’s reasonable to discuss the impact of divorce on children and how to mitigate potential issues, but I don’t see that here. I see a bunch of jerks being mean to single moms.

Give grace and be nice. You might need it yourself some day.

There’s actually a fair amount of simmering fear in this thread. Smugness is usually a form of storytelling, to oneself above all. It’s a way of reassuring yourself that you are safe, that the bad things that happen to others won’t and can’t happen to you, because you’ve done it “right.”

You mean like the story that you’re telling yourself that not only are your kids fine being shuttled between two homes, they’re actually better off that way!

Dude, I’m one of the happily married kids of divorced parents who was happier after my parents’ divorce than I was before.

Their divorce felt like breathing fresh air after a lifetime of gasping for breath.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

Sorry, but they won't. It's the dog that seals it. Maybe you could get some puppies? 7 or 11, prime numbers are best.

If your ex is like mine, 11 puppies would still be less work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

“Single mom?” According to a previous poster, that mere phrase is stolen valor! How dare you!

Now you will need 5 more puppies to atone for your linguistic sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

I posted that and I’m on your side, just pointing out they can find a study for everything.

[Anonymous]

If you study Baltimore, you draw a lot of conclusions that don't apply to outside of Baltimore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

I posted that and I’m on your side, just pointing out they can find a study for everything.

DP. I got what you were saying, and personally I think we should deliver 100 puppies to the smug, incurious know-it-alls. They can’t refuse, after all There Is A Study, and surely they wouldn’t want to be selfish by denying their children all that happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/ch...versity-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

“Single mom?” According to a previous poster, that mere phrase is stolen valor! How dare you!

Now you will need 5 more puppies to atone for your linguistic sins.

Single mom isn’t inherently stolen valor. Just when you’re splitting custody with Dad, like most of you losers do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/ch...versity-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was interesting and insightful: a study on the economic and social impacts of divorce. For children whose parents divorce when they are young, more likely to experience teen pregnancy, jail and early death, less earning potential:

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/baltimore/news/ch...versity-of-maryland/

You gonna get burned. DCUM if full of divorced (or to be divorced) women

There are so many triggered, defensive divorced women on this thread, it’s bonkers.

Actually what there are a LOT of in this thread are adult children of divorced parents who are trying to tell you that their lives improved after their parents divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re have also been studies that say that kids that grow up with a dog in the household, live happier childhoods on the whole, than kids without dogs. I guess everyone should go get a dog now, too.

Oh nooooo I’m a single mom AND we don’t have a dog!!!! Do you think the kids will be ok??

“Single mom?” According to a previous poster, that mere phrase is stolen valor! How dare you!

Now you will need 5 more puppies to atone for your linguistic sins.

Single mom isn’t inherently stolen valor. Just when you’re splitting custody with Dad, like most of you losers do.

Are the people arguing that using the term single mom is stolen valor the same people saying this study shows that all single moms are terrible selfish people? How can you simultaneously believe there is no valor in being a single mom and accuse people using the term of stolen valor?