Kangaroos are terrifying and no one is talking about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^considered

Or actually…are YOU a wallaby?!

Now this kanga smear campaign all makes sense … one of the worst epithets in Aussie lingo is to be dismissed as a “Wally”.

I can see how this marginalization and minimization of a misunderstood mini-marsupials might mess with their minds -(Aussies love silly alliterations so please reply in kind).

Wake up Wiallabies and get a whiff of the gum trees … Fair crack of the whip fellas!

Well wash my wellies and call me wow’d. The marginalizing of marsupials makes me madder than a proverbial hatter. Kookier than a kookaburra kissing a kilogram of keesters. I’m off to scarf some Victoria sponge and partake of a pavlova. PEACE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a women in Australia you are more likely to be killed by your husband than any of the wildlife.

That is true just about everywhere in the world - sadly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^considered

Or actually…are YOU a wallaby?!

Now this kanga smear campaign all makes sense … one of the worst epithets in Aussie lingo is to be dismissed as a “Wally”.

I can see how this marginalization and minimization of a misunderstood mini-marsupials might mess with their minds -(Aussies love silly alliterations so please reply in kind).

Wake up Wiallabies and get a whiff of the gum trees … Fair crack of the whip fellas!

Well wash my wellies and call me wow’d. The marginalizing of marsupials makes me madder than a proverbial hatter. Kookier than a kookaburra kissing a kilogram of keesters. I’m off to scarf some Victoria sponge and partake of a pavlova. PEACE.

Bonza banter buddy! Please provide premium pavlova to the Texan visiting Australia - can’t wait to see what is bigger and better than my favorite dessert in Texas! Key lime pie comes pretty close …


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says: “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says: “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks: “And what are those?”

The Aussie, fed up with the bragging, asks with an incredulous look: “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read through the whole thread but the kangaroo’s arms look eerily human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Australia was colonized with felons, so it all makes sense. I believe Kangas were friendly until the convicts arrived.

Oh the convicts who were guilty of stealing bread to feed their starving kids in Dickensian nightmares ? The British just wanted to avoid overpopulating their nook with the Irish!

It was Aussie’s gain to have so much Irish culture helping shape early history - subversive humor and love of spinning good yarns (the Aborigines love appreciate good story telling too - check out Dream Time yarns)

The Australian government is now on to this thread.

Not really - we represent the yes vote to the recent referendum that was defeated - on constitutional change to give voice to Aborigines in parliament on policies that affect them. We need more good story tellers in office.

Treaty now.

[Anonymous]

The kangeroo lobby managed to get Australia to put kangeroos on their planes to spread their influence around the world.

[Anonymous]

Aussie here. Yeah, the Big Roos are dangerous. They can get very angry very quickly. They'll rise up on their tail and strike with their middle toe that has razor like claw on the end.

[Anonymous]

Resurrecting this banger of a thread for some levity. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Resurrecting this banger of a thread for some levity. Sorry not sorry.

Thank you, PP. I missed it the first time, and this is exactly what I needed today.

[Anonymous]

I chuckled at the Aussie grasshoppers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Resurrecting this banger of a thread for some levity. Sorry not sorry.

I saw this had been revived and got so excited. Not all heroes wear capes!

[Anonymous]

This is funny. I was a zookeeper and worked at a small zoo where we hand reared a baby kangaroo. Big mistake. He was attached to hunans, and whenever he saw a woman he’d get massively aroused. When women keepers went in with him, he’d try to hump them and get mad when he couldn’t.

That same zoo had a porcupine that was male and hated everybody except a male keeper, who would let him hump a shovel to completion whenever he went in to clean because otherwise the porcupine would try to hump him the entire time.

Apes will decapitate baby birds that fall in the exhibit and use them as a fl*shlight.

Otters…I forget where this was, but I heard about an otter at an aquarium who would suck himself all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is funny. I was a zookeeper and worked at a small zoo where we hand reared a baby kangaroo. Big mistake. He was attached to hunans, and whenever he saw a woman he’d get massively aroused. When women keepers went in with him, he’d try to hump them and get mad when he couldn’t.

That same zoo had a porcupine that was male and hated everybody except a male keeper, who would let him hump a shovel to completion whenever he went in to clean because otherwise the porcupine would try to hump him the entire time.

Apes will decapitate baby birds that fall in the exhibit and use them as a fl*shlight.

Otters…I forget where this was, but I heard about an otter at an aquarium who would suck himself all day.

Say what now??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a biologist, I could tell you stories...

...particularly about dolphins and otters. Kangoroos are aggressive as well.

Lots of species we find adorable aren't all that in real life.

What did otters do?!

Not the biologist but we have a resident sea otter that is aggressively stealing surfboards from surfers. Sea otters are not as aggressive as river otters but it’s still really lucky no one has been bitten yet. Surfers don’t like giving up their expensive boards and this otter really wants them. I wouldn’t want to get bit especially in this area as it’s a great white shark nursery.

What are the otters doing with all the surfboards??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is funny. I was a zookeeper and worked at a small zoo where we hand reared a baby kangaroo. Big mistake. He was attached to hunans, and whenever he saw a woman he’d get massively aroused. When women keepers went in with him, he’d try to hump them and get mad when he couldn’t.

That same zoo had a porcupine that was male and hated everybody except a male keeper, who would let him hump a shovel to completion whenever he went in to clean because otherwise the porcupine would try to hump him the entire time.

Apes will decapitate baby birds that fall in the exhibit and use them as a fl*shlight.

Otters…I forget where this was, but I heard about an otter at an aquarium who would suck himself all day.

Say what now??

If you don't know what this means, consider yourself lucky. I had never heard this factoid but am now pretty disgusted! That's animals I guess.