I'm so tired of mom cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

the problem was that she wasn't invited. not that she saw a photo. honestly it's the people who hate social media who seem unhinged. they literally were talking about how the photo is the actual thing that was causing harm.

nobody argued for your strawman of saying "why must you live in anger" over a mistaken lack of invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

the problem was that she wasn't invited. not that she saw a photo. honestly it's the people who hate social media who seem unhinged. they literally were talking about how the photo is the actual thing that was causing harm.

nobody argued for your strawman of saying "why must you live in anger" over a mistaken lack of invitation.

If she didn't see the photo then I guess she would have continued to not be invited for a lot longer. The photo let her know there was an error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

Literally someone said you shouldn't post photos of backyard bbqs or any social events of less importance than weddings.

Just get off of Facebook, seriously. Everyone.

Especially if you can't handle a photo of a few women drinking a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

the problem was that she wasn't invited. not that she saw a photo. honestly it's the people who hate social media who seem unhinged. they literally were talking about how the photo is the actual thing that was causing harm.

nobody argued for your strawman of saying "why must you live in anger" over a mistaken lack of invitation.

It is weird to me that people are blaming photos for their relationship issues.

[Anonymous]

Do you really need to? What kind of validation do you need from others? Are you afraid they think nobody actually likes you? I bet you're the one who always chimes in "sorry I couldn't make it, looks like fun!" Just in case someone thought you weren't actually invited. Seriously, grow up.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only post pictures of my family.

If I am not close to a person and they hang out, I’m not sure why I would be upset. This is a group of friends you are not close with, correct?

I have always had small groups of friends. I prefer one on one hangouts.

I think this person THOUGHT they were close and then because they were not invited to an event decided they were not close. Other people believe that posting photos which include non-family members is some sort of attack on them, personally. I cannot imagine such a hostile way of looking at friends and neighbors. I can't imagine thinking that I needed to be invited to everything my friends do for us to be friends.

Pp here. I don’t feel like going back and reading all the posts but I thought OP didn’t live in the same neighborhood and wasn’t including. I may be confusing different threads.

Most of my friends post normally but I have a handful of friends who post a lot in general whether it is food pictures, memes, walks and ANY outing they do.

One friend used to tag me and I asked her not to post pictures of me. She likes to tag the crap out of people and many of the pictures are not even good angles. Of course she posts the best of pics of herself and her family. I noticed she does the same thing with her kids’ friends. Her daughter will have a perfect post and then the friend is blinking or whatever. I like my friend and she lives out of state so I don’t really care.

I have another local friend and she also posts everything and anything she does and tags, hashtags and links. Sometimes acquaintances will try to friend me and I decline. I have a very low profile on social media and prefer to keep it that way. I don’t need an acquaintance I knew five years ago that I barely to know to see pictures of my kids.

I guess the point is that you don’t need to be offended when others overshare. I doubt they were even thinking about OP. I mean they didn’t invite her and didn’t care if she would see. OP seems pretty petty and childish. I know little girls who get upset when they are left out of a play date. This is how OP is feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

the problem was that she wasn't invited. not that she saw a photo. honestly it's the people who hate social media who seem unhinged. they literally were talking about how the photo is the actual thing that was causing harm.

nobody argued for your strawman of saying "why must you live in anger" over a mistaken lack of invitation.

It is weird to me that people are blaming photos for their relationship issues.

I guess we are supposed to let people keep their delusions about how close they are to people? Things are good as long as they don’t accidentally find out they’re not the center of everyone’s world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only post pictures of my family.

If I am not close to a person and they hang out, I’m not sure why I would be upset. This is a group of friends you are not close with, correct?

I have always had small groups of friends. I prefer one on one hangouts.

I think this person THOUGHT they were close and then because they were not invited to an event decided they were not close. Other people believe that posting photos which include non-family members is some sort of attack on them, personally. I cannot imagine such a hostile way of looking at friends and neighbors. I can't imagine thinking that I needed to be invited to everything my friends do for us to be friends.

Pp here. I don’t feel like going back and reading all the posts but I thought OP didn’t live in the same neighborhood and wasn’t including. I may be confusing different threads.

Most of my friends post normally but I have a handful of friends who post a lot in general whether it is food pictures, memes, walks and ANY outing they do.

One friend used to tag me and I asked her not to post pictures of me. She likes to tag the crap out of people and many of the pictures are not even good angles. Of course she posts the best of pics of herself and her family. I noticed she does the same thing with her kids’ friends. Her daughter will have a perfect post and then the friend is blinking or whatever. I like my friend and she lives out of state so I don’t really care.

I have another local friend and she also posts everything and anything she does and tags, hashtags and links. Sometimes acquaintances will try to friend me and I decline. I have a very low profile on social media and prefer to keep it that way. I don’t need an acquaintance I knew five years ago that I barely to know to see pictures of my kids.

I guess the point is that you don’t need to be offended when others overshare. I doubt they were even thinking about OP. I mean they didn’t invite her and didn’t care if she would see. OP seems pretty petty and childish. I know little girls who get upset when they are left out of a play date. This is how OP is feeling.

+many

[Anonymous]

My DD found out about a thing two of her friends did together and was upset. I reminded her they are still friends and have a long history together. We made our own plans with them. Things are fine. We can’t expect to be invited to everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

15:29 here - I actually live in the "cool" neighborhood and am still excluded. I saw on FB that the neighborhood moms hosted a baby shower for another neighborhood mom. Yep, not invited and didn't know about it - despite knowing most everyone. Yes, it sucks.

Honest question -- why do you care? Why does this suck? If anything, it tells you who your friends are -- and it's none of these women. Go enjoy life with your real friends, and stop worrying about these neighborhood moms.

PP can still feel hurt by the exclusion.

Then get therapy. That isn't anyone's problem. You are an adult.

I think the person who needs therapy is the one who thinks that we're not allowed to have feelings.

It's perfectly valid for OP and baby shower PP to feel sad about being left out of something that looks fun. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If your kid hears about a birthday party that they weren't invited to you, do you say something like "I'm sorry, it sounds like that hurts your feelings" to empathize with them, or do you say "suck it up, buttercup, that's life. go see a therapist"?

Ok so have feelings. But if this is bothering you enough that you need to post about about and go on and on then that is over the top. Clearly you can't move past it and without help and it is on your mind frequently and has been for years. Therapy.

You're replying to me and I only posted once (bolded) in this whole thread, so I'm not going on and on.

Not only is the "therapy" PP emotionally stunted, he/she is too stupid to grasp how anonymous forums work. I'm always amazed by the dunces who think they're talking to the same person across so many posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

Literally someone said you shouldn't post photos of backyard bbqs or any social events of less importance than weddings.

Literally? I don't see it. Find the post and quote it. No one said this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

the problem was that she wasn't invited. not that she saw a photo. honestly it's the people who hate social media who seem unhinged. they literally were talking about how the photo is the actual thing that was causing harm.

nobody argued for your strawman of saying "why must you live in anger" over a mistaken lack of invitation.

Literally people were saying that feeling left out because you saw a social media post was "living in anger". Literally. This is something a person posted on this board like one or two pages ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

Literally someone said you shouldn't post photos of backyard bbqs or any social events of less importance than weddings.

Literally? I don't see it. Find the post and quote it. No one said this.

page 13 for the BBQ

[Anonymous]

I am LOL at some of the people on here who love their social media posts so much they will defend them to the death!

I have never understood you ladies who post so many things on Instagram and Facebook and then act all offended when people call you out on being attention whores. Why else would you post these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some of you are being really disingenuous and reading way more into the comments on here than anyone is saying.

No one has said you can't post photos of people to Facebook. I keep seeing this and then trying to find the post that suggest this and it doesn't exist. Y'all are reading into something that isn't there.

Once a friend of mine organized a mom's night but she did not invite a close friend of ours who had just had a baby, because she assumed that said friend wouldn't be able to come out. Some photos of the night got posted to Instagram and the new-mom friend was understandably hurt (and likely super hormonal and more sensitive to the unintentional slight -- been there). It was wrong to assume she wouldn't want to at least be invited even if she bowed out because of the baby, and it was insensitive of us to post photos of it, knowing she'd see them, without thinking about how she'd feel about it. She posted a comment that made it clear she was hurt, we apologized, and everyone moved on. It was a simple mistake and one we won't make again.

If instead we'd responded by saying "OMG why do you even care -- why must you live in anger over this?!?!?" I sense that friendship would be destroyed and she'd rightfully think we were hateful jerks.

Some of you are really starting to sound like hateful jerks.

Literally someone said you shouldn't post photos of backyard bbqs or any social events of less importance than weddings.

Literally? I don't see it. Find the post and quote it. No one said this.

page 13 for the BBQ

You’re completely misrepresenting that post. The person referenced people who were left out and would feel hurt at seeing it, which is crucial context. But again, keep posting pictures of every social event you attend. That’s not attention-seeking at all.