I'm so tired of mom cliques

[Anonymous]

I experienced this in both Elem and middle schools. It’s ridiculous and I am thankful high school is none of that Bs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 30 pages and the best explanation for why people feel the need to post photos of private gatherings to Facebook is “I use it to store and organize my photos.”

Hmmm.

I would like to hear a better explanation for why people post anything at all.

Because you want others to see it. Period. You can organize your photos on your own phone/camera roll. People are being disingenuous when they say “I only post to update family!” or “I use Facebook to organize my photos!” Nah because y’all don’t share everything. You share what you want others to see. Therefore, if you post a date, party, gathering, event- you wanted people to see it. And if you choose to let that be seen by people you didn’t include, you wanted them to see that too.

This.

Some people post with the obvious intention of making others jealous or envious. Like it’s transparent. “Look at my new car, look at my new house, here I am with my friends dressed in cute clothes at at a concert, here’s all the people who came to my birthday party.” The reason to post like this if is you want people to see it and think “oh wow, her life is so great.”

The problem is that in your mind, people are thinking “oh wow, I’m so jealous, but she’s so great— she deserves it.” And maybe your mom or you closest friends are thinking that. But plenty of people will just roll their eyes and call you self-absorbed behind your back, and even though they are saying it out of jealousy, they aren’t wrong. Others will just be hurt you didn’t include them. The vast majority of people will not be happy for you, even if they have the social skills to pretend they are. People aren’t really focused on your happiness enough to want to see lots of evidence of it on Facebook. Plus there’s that nagging problem of how happy you could possibly be if you are taking the time to post all the evidence on social media. Wouldn’t a truly happy person just not bother because they are too content to need to tell everyone else how happy they are?

This fantasy of sharing all your best moments on Facebook and having everyone, or even a majority of your contacts, be just thrilled for you is childish. That’s not how people are.

That's a "you" thing. The way you view it and the emotions and intentions you believe other people have are a "you" thing. All of those negative emotions that you believe the rest of the world has towards their friends and acquaintances? That's coming from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 30 pages and the best explanation for why people feel the need to post photos of private gatherings to Facebook is “I use it to store and organize my photos.”

Hmmm.

I would like to hear a better explanation for why people post anything at all.

Because you want others to see it. Period. You can organize your photos on your own phone/camera roll. People are being disingenuous when they say “I only post to update family!” or “I use Facebook to organize my photos!” Nah because y’all don’t share everything. You share what you want others to see. Therefore, if you post a date, party, gathering, event- you wanted people to see it. And if you choose to let that be seen by people you didn’t include, you wanted them to see that too.

This.

Some people post with the obvious intention of making others jealous or envious. Like it’s transparent. “Look at my new car, look at my new house, here I am with my friends dressed in cute clothes at at a concert, here’s all the people who came to my birthday party.” The reason to post like this if is you want people to see it and think “oh wow, her life is so great.”

The problem is that in your mind, people are thinking “oh wow, I’m so jealous, but she’s so great— she deserves it.” And maybe your mom or you closest friends are thinking that. But plenty of people will just roll their eyes and call you self-absorbed behind your back, and even though they are saying it out of jealousy, they aren’t wrong. Others will just be hurt you didn’t include them. The vast majority of people will not be happy for you, even if they have the social skills to pretend they are. People aren’t really focused on your happiness enough to want to see lots of evidence of it on Facebook. Plus there’s that nagging problem of how happy you could possibly be if you are taking the time to post all the evidence on social media. Wouldn’t a truly happy person just not bother because they are too content to need to tell everyone else how happy they are?

This fantasy of sharing all your best moments on Facebook and having everyone, or even a majority of your contacts, be just thrilled for you is childish. That’s not how people are.

+2

Their delusions are hilarious! 😅

[Anonymous]

At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 30 pages and the best explanation for why people feel the need to post photos of private gatherings to Facebook is “I use it to store and organize my photos.”

Hmmm.

I would like to hear a better explanation for why people post anything at all.

Because you want others to see it. Period. You can organize your photos on your own phone/camera roll. People are being disingenuous when they say “I only post to update family!” or “I use Facebook to organize my photos!” Nah because y’all don’t share everything. You share what you want others to see. Therefore, if you post a date, party, gathering, event- you wanted people to see it. And if you choose to let that be seen by people you didn’t include, you wanted them to see that too.

This.

Some people post with the obvious intention of making others jealous or envious. Like it’s transparent. “Look at my new car, look at my new house, here I am with my friends dressed in cute clothes at at a concert, here’s all the people who came to my birthday party.” The reason to post like this if is you want people to see it and think “oh wow, her life is so great.”

The problem is that in your mind, people are thinking “oh wow, I’m so jealous, but she’s so great— she deserves it.” And maybe your mom or you closest friends are thinking that. But plenty of people will just roll their eyes and call you self-absorbed behind your back, and even though they are saying it out of jealousy, they aren’t wrong. Others will just be hurt you didn’t include them. The vast majority of people will not be happy for you, even if they have the social skills to pretend they are. People aren’t really focused on your happiness enough to want to see lots of evidence of it on Facebook. Plus there’s that nagging problem of how happy you could possibly be if you are taking the time to post all the evidence on social media. Wouldn’t a truly happy person just not bother because they are too content to need to tell everyone else how happy they are?

This fantasy of sharing all your best moments on Facebook and having everyone, or even a majority of your contacts, be just thrilled for you is childish. That’s not how people are.

That's a "you" thing. The way you view it and the emotions and intentions you believe other people have are a "you" thing. All of those negative emotions that you believe the rest of the world has towards their friends and acquaintances? That's coming from you.

Dp. No. I agree with the pp above you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

PP here. This was a non school event that was organized by the clique-y moms for a couple days after school let out. During work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

Well, that time doesn't work for you. And the weekend isn't going to work for someone else, and weeknights are bad because of practice. Wash, rinse, repeat. You can't please everyone.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

PP here. This was a non school event that was organized by the clique-y moms for a couple days after school let out. During work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

PP here. This was a non school event that was organized by the clique-y moms for a couple days after school let out. During work hours.

Well, that time doesn't work for you. And the weekend isn't going to work for someone else, and weeknights are bad because of practice. Wash, rinse, repeat. You can't please everyone. There is no time that would result in 100% attendance. Working parents that I know coordinate rides for their kids so they can make it to the party. Is that not an option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 30 pages and the best explanation for why people feel the need to post photos of private gatherings to Facebook is “I use it to store and organize my photos.”

Hmmm.

I would like to hear a better explanation for why people post anything at all.

Because you want others to see it. Period. You can organize your photos on your own phone/camera roll. People are being disingenuous when they say “I only post to update family!” or “I use Facebook to organize my photos!” Nah because y’all don’t share everything. You share what you want others to see. Therefore, if you post a date, party, gathering, event- you wanted people to see it. And if you choose to let that be seen by people you didn’t include, you wanted them to see that too.

This.

Some people post with the obvious intention of making others jealous or envious. Like it’s transparent. “Look at my new car, look at my new house, here I am with my friends dressed in cute clothes at at a concert, here’s all the people who came to my birthday party.” The reason to post like this if is you want people to see it and think “oh wow, her life is so great.”

The problem is that in your mind, people are thinking “oh wow, I’m so jealous, but she’s so great— she deserves it.” And maybe your mom or you closest friends are thinking that. But plenty of people will just roll their eyes and call you self-absorbed behind your back, and even though they are saying it out of jealousy, they aren’t wrong. Others will just be hurt you didn’t include them. The vast majority of people will not be happy for you, even if they have the social skills to pretend they are. People aren’t really focused on your happiness enough to want to see lots of evidence of it on Facebook. Plus there’s that nagging problem of how happy you could possibly be if you are taking the time to post all the evidence on social media. Wouldn’t a truly happy person just not bother because they are too content to need to tell everyone else how happy they are?

This fantasy of sharing all your best moments on Facebook and having everyone, or even a majority of your contacts, be just thrilled for you is childish. That’s not how people are.

+2

Their delusions are hilarious! 😅

I agree with this.
The BEST is the incidental rich-person stuff in the background.

Ivanka had one of those, someone re-posted the other day. At first I didn’t notice it was her. I thought, “wow the picture is framed so that KID is the minor accessory to the well-framed living room show-off shot… oh that was Ivanka!! No wonder!!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

PP here. This was a non school event that was organized by the clique-y moms for a couple days after school let out. During work hours.

Well, that time doesn't work for you. And the weekend isn't going to work for someone else, and weeknights are bad because of practice. Wash, rinse, repeat. You can't please everyone. There is no time that would result in 100% attendance. Working parents that I know coordinate rides for their kids so they can make it to the party. Is that not an option?

Of course, but why would you schedule at a time when it doesn’t work for easily 30-50% of the families? At least pick a time that’s statistically more likely to include most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school the clique-y moms are the SAHMs and they generally look down on any women who work. They schedule things during work hours as a way of excluding some kids. Last year we were at a private school where nearly all the families were dual income families (probably to pay for said school haha) and had none of this nonsense. Now we are in public school and it’s been the weirdest thing to observe.

You may be right, but take it from a former SAHM...they are scheduling things during work hours because they are going nuts at home with their kids and are the verge of mental illness.

PP here. Well, you do have options and I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

These moms have said things like “oh this is Larla, she’s a doctorrrrrrr” in a mocking sing song-y voice. I never mention my career unless asked. And when I pointed out an end of the school year party for the entire grade during work hours might be hard for some, I got met with “well, we can’t include everyone, ya know?” But it was literally sent out as something for the entire grade. I’m seriously considering going back to our private school where none of this nonsense existed, probably because we were all in the same boat. It’s like some of these moms get off on making other moms (and kids!!) feel left out. It’s so gross.

I'm sure you know the "She's a doctorrrr" thing is a manifestation of their own insecurity.
End of the year parties, I thought, occur on the last day of school or close to it. During school hours. We just had ours and most of the parents (both sexes) took a PTO day from their jobs to help.
Only go back to the private school if you feel it was a better education, not for your social life. I am currently moving my children and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I will probably be losing dear friends or at least not seeing them as often. And I have no illusions that I will make new friends at the private school or become part of a warm close-knit community. I am doing it purely because the education will be better for the kids.

PP here. This was a non school event that was organized by the clique-y moms for a couple days after school let out. During work hours.

Well, that time doesn't work for you. And the weekend isn't going to work for someone else, and weeknights are bad because of practice. Wash, rinse, repeat. You can't please everyone. There is no time that would result in 100% attendance. Working parents that I know coordinate rides for their kids so they can make it to the party. Is that not an option?

Of course, but why would you schedule at a time when it doesn’t work for easily 30-50% of the families? At least pick a time that’s statistically more likely to include most.

Why isn’t carpooling an option?

[Anonymous]

Just because you don't see this does not mean others don't experience it. Baggage? Give me a break.