I'm so tired of mom cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not the popular mom but I have a popular kid. We don’t live in the cool neighborhood but we live in the rich neighborhood. I host a lot of play dates. My kids have nice birthday parties.

I’m part of all the kid activities but I am not friends with any moms. We are friendly though.

yay, cool-without-trying-mom has arrived!

[Anonymous]

I'm a dad and I share your pain. The mom cliques are everywhere. I get a headache listening to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not the popular mom but I have a popular kid. We don’t live in the cool neighborhood but we live in the rich neighborhood. I host a lot of play dates. My kids have nice birthday parties.

I’m part of all the kid activities but I am not friends with any moms. We are friendly though.

yay, cool-without-trying-mom has arrived!

I am not cool at all. We just live in a big nice house and I host a lot of play dates. Kids get dropped off and I have little interaction with the moms.

I have another kid who is introverted. He has a few good friends. He isn’t interested in having friends over and has very few play dates. He likes when he is invited (once a month or so) but doesn’t seem to want to invite friends to our house for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

I have younger kids (oldest is in K) and would like to know how this manifests? I have lots of friends from before kids who I still socialize with and don't really know when I would have time to see new friends, but does that mean my kids will miss out on things?

[Anonymous]

I’m not in the mom clique either, OP, but I’ve never been in the “cool group” so I’m used to it.

I am the smart mom with the smartest kid in class (yes, we’re both nerds) and we’re both thin and wear glasses! It’s just who we are.

Be comfortable with yourself, OP. Accept exclusion but never exclude. It would be the same wherever you move.

[Anonymous]

I am blacklisted by the PTA because I am good friends with a mom who tried to run for PTA board and is a "suspected Trump supporter". I still get lots of invites and kid has plenty of friends. They just never have space for me to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

I was part of the cool-mom clique for awhile--it didn't end well when the friend group broke up. (Typical 8th grade drama.) I really enjoyed those women and was pretty hurt to learn how fake and socially calculated it all was. Be careful what you wish for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

Well, in my case I do live in the cool neighborhood and I'm not one of them.

You should both consider it a compliment they don't include you. Why would you want to be part of that group?

[Anonymous]

OP- how old are your kids? In my experience, you find your real mom friends at some point and it gets easier as they get older. You also care less as you mature as a mom. It does suck though, I remember, seeing them all vacationing together and hanging out and feeling left out. It’s like high school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you a friendly, approachable person? Do you ever initiate or make plans? I find that the people who complain about this are never the organizers and are often awkward socially.

Ha.

I suspect you are one of the "mean" moms.

Enjoy your reign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not in the mom clique either, OP, but I’ve never been in the “cool group” so I’m used to it.

I am the smart mom with the smartest kid in class (yes, we’re both nerds) and we’re both thin and wear glasses! It’s just who we are.

Be comfortable with yourself, OP. Accept exclusion but never exclude. It would be the same wherever you move.

I think this is it. I was never part of the cool or popular clique so no big deal that I’m not in the cool mom clique either.

I was at some point very much a pta mom. Not anymore.

I have always had a few close friends and still do. My friends are moms but they are not necessarily moms of my kids’ friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you a friendly, approachable person? Do you ever initiate or make plans? I find that the people who complain about this are never the organizers and are often awkward socially.

Ha.

I suspect you are one of the "mean" moms.

Enjoy your reign.

Clearly she is one of the mean moms. Looking to blame others for her mean behavior.

OP, you don't want to be friends with these women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad and I share your pain. The mom cliques are everywhere. I get a headache listening to them.

Dude, I'm with you and I'm another mom.

[Anonymous]

Start watching American Mom. It’s old and I never finished watching the end of it.

But, it made me feel better.

I love that she had two best friends and everyone else was just there.

[Anonymous]

I hear you! I don't care too much, but it really affected my daughter in elementary school. Thankfully, we have a lot of family nearby, so that (and outside activities) kept her busy. It gets better in MS/HS. Kids find their own friends w/o mom intervention.