Women who say they get hit on everywhere they go

[Anonymous]

There’s a difference between being hit on, flirting and just being friendly. I agree some women just think they are being hit on to make themselves feel good. I get guys who are just flirting because it pumps them up or just being overly friendly. It’s fun banter just for kicks. It’s harmless. I don’t think anything of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP- Brahahaha- yesterday I was in the grocery store with my kid. He said something funny and i laughed. As I was laughing, this guy came around the aisle and I glanced up as I had to go around him and tried to pass him. ‘You know your eyes are like an angels. Sometimes you can just tell who is a wonderful person just by looking at them.”

Was I being hit on? I don’t know, but I promise in no way did I ASK for this as I was looking for f-ing graham crackers with my 9 year old. Nor was I seeking attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP- Brahahaha- yesterday I was in the grocery store with my kid. He said something funny and i laughed. As I was laughing, this guy came around the aisle and I glanced up as I had to go around him and tried to pass him. ‘You know your eyes are like an angels. Sometimes you can just tell who is a wonderful person just by looking at them.”

Was I being hit on? I don’t know, but I promise in no way did I ASK for this as I was looking for f-ing graham crackers with my 9 year old. Nor was I seeking attention.

Just enjoy the compliment in move on. When you get into your 60s get back here and tell us if you are still so visible to men. Some women even stop being visible to men as early as their mid 40s. It won't last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP
Green is such a ugly color on you. I'm sorry you are so insecure about how your body feel apart as you aged.
Women should plug their ears to avoid attention? Should they also cover their hair and ankles? If she's not in a niqab she's a desperate slut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've twice recently had salesmen seem to hit on me, but I'm never quite sure that's what it is.

One was at a cell phone place, and he entered his number before giving it to me, and asked me to text him directly if I had any questions or problems. I thought that might just be exceptional customer service, but he also offered to be my guide on some local hiking attractions, since I was new to the area. That did seem to be more than just customer service.

And when I bought a new vehicle, the dealer agent asked me to go outside and take a picture of the mileage and text to to him. His co-worker ribbed him about it in front of me, telling me it was his job to get the info and laughing. And he's texted me since and asked me to send him a pic of me in the vehicle. I suppose it might be for a local promotion or something, like an illustration?

I've also had a man come up to me while I was pumping gas and just flat out told me I was beautiful. Mind you, although he didn't ask for anything, he seemed more than a bit down on his luck, and it was definitely a weird interaction.

I tend not to talk about these incidents, but I'd file all of them in my head as likely getting hit on. But you all are the first I've told about it, and I have no plans to relate the stores to friends. They are just strange little interactions.

Sorry to burst your bubble on this one, the car dealership photos will go into the dealership file, a picture of you and the car, so if it needs to be repossessed, it is easier to identify you and the vehicle.

Wow, this is delusional. You think the seller doesn't know what the car they sold looks like? And they don't have the buyer's ID on file?
I've never once been requested or given a selfie to a car salesman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP- Brahahaha- yesterday I was in the grocery store with my kid. He said something funny and i laughed. As I was laughing, this guy came around the aisle and I glanced up as I had to go around him and tried to pass him. ‘You know your eyes are like an angels. Sometimes you can just tell who is a wonderful person just by looking at them.”

Was I being hit on? I don’t know, but I promise in no way did I ASK for this as I was looking for f-ing graham crackers with my 9 year old. Nor was I seeking attention.

Just enjoy the compliment in move on. When you get into your 60s get back here and tell us if you are still so visible to men. Some women even stop being visible to men as early as their mid 40s. It won't last.

Supermarket PP- I’m 46 and can’t wait til I’m less visible. It is happening slowly, but I don’t see the attention as a good thing. I don’t enjoy it, but I do ignore it. The idea that I’m “asking for it” is infuriating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP- Brahahaha- yesterday I was in the grocery store with my kid. He said something funny and i laughed. As I was laughing, this guy came around the aisle and I glanced up as I had to go around him and tried to pass him. ‘You know your eyes are like an angels. Sometimes you can just tell who is a wonderful person just by looking at them.”

Was I being hit on? I don’t know, but I promise in no way did I ASK for this as I was looking for f-ing graham crackers with my 9 year old. Nor was I seeking attention.

Does this happen to you a lot? That language is so odd, I would assume someone was pranking me. It’s out of a 1980s movie or something. I’m trying to figure out the universe where people speak like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

DP- Sometimes the men just start talking to me. Should I not reply? I usually make a break for the women asap now because I have learned not to continue the conversation.

I get along with women fine when there are no men around. Add the men in and the social equation changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

DP- Brahahaha- yesterday I was in the grocery store with my kid. He said something funny and i laughed. As I was laughing, this guy came around the aisle and I glanced up as I had to go around him and tried to pass him. ‘You know your eyes are like an angels. Sometimes you can just tell who is a wonderful person just by looking at them.”

Was I being hit on? I don’t know, but I promise in no way did I ASK for this as I was looking for f-ing graham crackers with my 9 year old. Nor was I seeking attention.

Does this happen to you a lot? That language is so odd, I would assume someone was pranking me. It’s out of a 1980s movie or something. I’m trying to figure out the universe where people speak like that.

It WAS weird. It happened a lot (not these words) when I was younger but sometimes still. I figured it was some PUA thing. My larger point is that sometimes women do nothing to attract attention and this weird crap still happens. The PP was trying to say people who this happens to are just trying to attract attention. I whole heartedly disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

DP- Sometimes the men just start talking to me. Should I not reply? I usually make a break for the women asap now because I have learned not to continue the conversation.

I get along with women fine when there are no men around. Add the men in and the social equation changes.

It's really hard to believe that a woman does really well with other women with no men around, but then other women hate her when men are around. For one thing, you'd have a solid group of friends and your novelty would wear off with the men.

You're giving signals to the men, whether you realize it or not. For example, too much eye contact with the men and not enough with the women. Not engaging the women when you're with mixed groups. I used to be extremely attractive when I was younger. Men would send me drinks and hit on me all the time. Yet somehow I was able to earn the trust of other women when we were in groups with men too. If you repeatedly run into this problem, then you're egging it on.

The hallmark of this type of woman is to feign innocence and annoyance "OMG I was just talking to him. She's just jealous." No, you weren't, and no she's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

DP- Sometimes the men just start talking to me. Should I not reply? I usually make a break for the women asap now because I have learned not to continue the conversation.

I get along with women fine when there are no men around. Add the men in and the social equation changes.

It's really hard to believe that a woman does really well with other women with no men around, but then other women hate her when men are around. For one thing, you'd have a solid group of friends and your novelty would wear off with the men.

You're giving signals to the men, whether you realize it or not. For example, too much eye contact with the men and not enough with the women. Not engaging the women when you're with mixed groups. I used to be extremely attractive when I was younger. Men would send me drinks and hit on me all the time. Yet somehow I was able to earn the trust of other women when we were in groups with men too. If you repeatedly run into this problem, then you're egging it on.

The hallmark of this type of woman is to feign innocence and annoyance "OMG I was just talking to him. She's just jealous." No, you weren't, and no she's not.

“Too much eye contact” should not be considered “egging it on.” So I guess you are right. I think the misogyny implied with the “rules” and “signals” you are stipulating are ridiculous. I’m not going to sleep with anyone’s DH or even hang out with them without their wives, but to have to moderate eye contact and making sure I give more time to women in mixed group is the opposite of equality in gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

DP- Sometimes the men just start talking to me. Should I not reply? I usually make a break for the women asap now because I have learned not to continue the conversation.

I get along with women fine when there are no men around. Add the men in and the social equation changes.

It's really hard to believe that a woman does really well with other women with no men around, but then other women hate her when men are around. For one thing, you'd have a solid group of friends and your novelty would wear off with the men.

You're giving signals to the men, whether you realize it or not. For example, too much eye contact with the men and not enough with the women. Not engaging the women when you're with mixed groups. I used to be extremely attractive when I was younger. Men would send me drinks and hit on me all the time. Yet somehow I was able to earn the trust of other women when we were in groups with men too. If you repeatedly run into this problem, then you're egging it on.

The hallmark of this type of woman is to feign innocence and annoyance "OMG I was just talking to him. She's just jealous." No, you weren't, and no she's not.

“Too much eye contact” should not be considered “egging it on.” So I guess you are right. I think the misogyny implied with the “rules” and “signals” you are stipulating are ridiculous. I’m not going to sleep with anyone’s DH or even hang out with them without their wives, but to have to moderate eye contact and making sure I give more time to women in mixed group is the opposite of equality in gender.

DP. Sounds like you have low EQ and are making up a bunch of stuff to compensate. Misogyny? Lol, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

New poster here. You sounds like a woman who doesn't like other women. You can't be trusted and that's what the wives are reacting to.

I had a former friend like this. She would flirt with other people's boyfriends (we were single) and had a hard time fitting in with other women. She always thought it was because she was so much better than the other women and they were jealous. But that wasn't it. She came across as a snake. She couldn't trust her own mom. I think that's where it stemmed from.

Most women will approach other women at social events. They don't go up to other men or pay more attention to a man in groups. I think my former friend just never learned these social cues. Her comfort zone was grabbing a man's attention and putting down his girlfriend if she didn't like it.

DP- Sometimes the men just start talking to me. Should I not reply? I usually make a break for the women asap now because I have learned not to continue the conversation.

I get along with women fine when there are no men around. Add the men in and the social equation changes.

It's really hard to believe that a woman does really well with other women with no men around, but then other women hate her when men are around. For one thing, you'd have a solid group of friends and your novelty would wear off with the men.

You're giving signals to the men, whether you realize it or not. For example, too much eye contact with the men and not enough with the women. Not engaging the women when you're with mixed groups. I used to be extremely attractive when I was younger. Men would send me drinks and hit on me all the time. Yet somehow I was able to earn the trust of other women when we were in groups with men too. If you repeatedly run into this problem, then you're egging it on.

The hallmark of this type of woman is to feign innocence and annoyance "OMG I was just talking to him. She's just jealous." No, you weren't, and no she's not.

“Too much eye contact” should not be considered “egging it on.” So I guess you are right. I think the misogyny implied with the “rules” and “signals” you are stipulating are ridiculous. I’m not going to sleep with anyone’s DH or even hang out with them without their wives, but to have to moderate eye contact and making sure I give more time to women in mixed group is the opposite of equality in gender.

NP

For the love of God, not every criticism of women (or in this case a particular behavior pattern that some women engage in) is “misogyny”. You sound like a total idiot throwing that term around anytime someone offends you (or justifiably calls you out).

[Anonymous]

Early 40s, relatively fit (but would want to lose 10lbs in deal world) with very pretty face and I dress well. I never get overtly hit on by other men. I assume because I’m married and wear a wedding ring and not giving vibes that I’m open to cheating?

I wouldn’t mind some flirting though. I travel a decent amount for work and feel like I could stray if I wanted but I don’t give off those vibes. Sigh. I would like to be overtly hit on…but only if I also found the guy attractive and fit. Not looking to cheat just some shameless flirting over drinks. Something to fantasize about later. I’m surprised by how chaste everyone seems at conferences. Clearly I’m doing something wrong.