Women who say they get hit on everywhere they go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

Good for you! You have a healthy way to process that. I am not the PP you are responding to, but a PP. In my case, it is more insecurity and lack of social skills/not wanting to deal with all the crap that comes from couples socializing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've twice recently had salesmen seem to hit on me, but I'm never quite sure that's what it is.

One was at a cell phone place, and he entered his number before giving it to me, and asked me to text him directly if I had any questions or problems. I thought that might just be exceptional customer service, but he also offered to be my guide on some local hiking attractions, since I was new to the area. That did seem to be more than just customer service.

And when I bought a new vehicle, the dealer agent asked me to go outside and take a picture of the mileage and text to to him. His co-worker ribbed him about it in front of me, telling me it was his job to get the info and laughing. And he's texted me since and asked me to send him a pic of me in the vehicle. I suppose it might be for a local promotion or something, like an illustration?

I've also had a man come up to me while I was pumping gas and just flat out told me I was beautiful. Mind you, although he didn't ask for anything, he seemed more than a bit down on his luck, and it was definitely a weird interaction.

I tend not to talk about these incidents, but I'd file all of them in my head as likely getting hit on. But you all are the first I've told about it, and I have no plans to relate the stores to friends. They are just strange little interactions.

Sorry to burst your bubble on this one, the car dealership photos will go into the dealership file, a picture of you and the car, so if it needs to be repossessed, it is easier to identify you and the vehicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:these women are delusional.

I think so too. I work in sales and we're basically paid to "flirt" (I guess) but I'm certainly not sleeping with the men who may think I'm hitting on them. A lot of women in this thread also seem to be conflating lower class men in service jobs being super polite as flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

So the wife should accept social invitations from someone who is arrogant and annoying? I'm sorry your world is so narrow that men and women can't be friends. I genuinely think many of you forget that not everyone is going to like us; it does not mean that we are threatened or threating. Some people are just annoying, talk too much, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

That’s always the excuse insecure women use “Oh you’re just annoying and I don’t like you.”

I mean, I can see that it’s annoying to a lot that there are more beautiful women than themselves out there. You just want to throw it back on the other woman and make it her fault for making your feel this way. Because let’s face it, being cold and rude to another woman, even if you don’t like her for whatever reason NOT related to her looks, isn’t a gracious way of acting and isn’t a good look for you 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

That’s always the excuse insecure women use “Oh you’re just annoying and I don’t like you.”

I mean, I can see that it’s annoying to a lot that there are more beautiful women than themselves out there. You just want to throw it back on the other woman and make it her fault for making your feel this way. Because let’s face it, being cold and rude to another woman, even if you don’t like her for whatever reason NOT related to her looks, isn’t a gracious way of acting and isn’t a good look for you 😀

I see this is news to you. Not everyone likes you. And it’s not because you are threatening beautiful. And really it’s okay. No one described anyone being rude just not overly friendly.

So again this woman is supposed to accept your social invitations when she doesn’t care for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

So the wife should accept social invitations from someone who is arrogant and annoying? I'm sorry your world is so narrow that men and women can't be friends. I genuinely think many of you forget that not everyone is going to like us; it does not mean that we are threatened or threating. Some people are just annoying, talk too much, etc.

Thanks- me too. Sure, sometimes I do things with my DHs friends who talk too much, but I still try to have a good time because I know they are friends of his. He doesn’t necessarily like my friends all the time either, but we still hang with them too. During these events I am always careful to spend less time with the men and more time with the women just in case.

At a certain point, I figured out that women didn’t want me talking to their ‘men” I also found that behind my back, the guys are all talking about f-ing me when I thought we were friends. Rinse and repeat over college- mid 20’s years and you get used to moderating yourself with couples. It set a way of interacting with people that stuck with me.

I’m sure it is something I’m doing wrong, but staying away is my way of dealing with it.
Good for you that you have other experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 17 and guys of all ages are constantly asking me out, normally at work. I’m outgoing and friendly and I think I’m pretty but I know girls much prettier than me that don’t get this kind of attention. Men are normally nice about it but I’ve never said yes to anyone. One time I was driving down a two lane road and two guys pulled up beside me at a stop light and one asked for my number. I said no then he got mad at me and I ended up rolling my window up.

Why are you digging up a zombie post from three years ago???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

That’s always the excuse insecure women use “Oh you’re just annoying and I don’t like you.”

I mean, I can see that it’s annoying to a lot that there are more beautiful women than themselves out there. You just want to throw it back on the other woman and make it her fault for making your feel this way. Because let’s face it, being cold and rude to another woman, even if you don’t like her for whatever reason NOT related to her looks, isn’t a gracious way of acting and isn’t a good look for you 😀

I see this is news to you. Not everyone likes you. And it’s not because you are threatening beautiful. And really it’s okay. No one described anyone being rude just not overly friendly.

So again this woman is supposed to accept your social invitations when she doesn’t care for you?

Huh? I never asked these women to hang out. But when the mom rolls her eyes at me when I simply ask “Hey you’re Larlo’s mom, right? Nice to meet you,” that’s plain old insecurity. Nothing objectively annoying about the question. And by the way, insecurity is at the heart of rudeness and coldness, since you’d probably try to make that distinction next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to all the time! Now, at 42, almost never. I didn’t gain weight but likely factors include:

- often with children now, or DH
- lost my (formerly nice) boobs to nursing
- used to dress up all the time; now usually in athleisure. I still have great legs but they’re under leggings.
- just generally looking 40+ in the face, looking tired

This is me also. I’m 46 now but I used to be in my twenties and got hit on everywhere I went. In my twenties, I got ready everyday, did my hair and had a very nice figure. I got hit on all the time in my teens, college, grad school and before I had kids. Men would approach me on the street, work elevators, when I was at the grocery store, restaurants, bars, clubs.

Now I wear my hair in a ponytail most days and I have 1-3 kids with me. I’m friendly with many parents, a lot of them dads. I do not think they are hitting on me. I try not to be too friendly. There are a few moms who I feel don’t like me and I can’t think of anything I did wrong besides be friendly with their husbands. One woman in particular I like their entire family but I get along with her husband I guess too well. She has declined every invite I have made. I don’t want to overstep and invite the husband.

I have a little of this issue. If I did what my instinct is I would talk with the Dad’s more than the moms of my kid’s friends. Maybe because I like them better or maybe because they are always nice to me. I dunno. The line between friendly and flirty is so easy for me to cross and I don’t want to be “that mom” so I just sort of keep away.

For example, I was talking to one of my kids’ friends dads after a graduation party the mom literally jumped in front of him to talk to me. (My DH was next to me the whole time too). It just felt awkward.

I try to keep it just friendly hellos at this point. I don’t think it is because I am super attractive, I just think I have zero social skills with men and know that women don’t like me in this setting. I’m fine at work in my majority female profession.

I can’t stand women who act like the one you just described. In reality a lot of women are like that. I chat with men more because they’re frankly just friendlier. It never gets flirty, ever. But when I try to chat with some women they are so, so cold it’s just bizarre. It’s like they’re threatened by an attractive woman’s very existence. There are a couple women at my child’s school like this. I try to be friendly and connect, and they just glare at me and give short non answers. It’s really baffling. Their husbands are always much nicer but again never flirty.

I’m the pp who said the one woman wants nothing to do with me. Her husband reminds me of one of my closest friends from my childhood. I was not flirty at all. I genuinely like him and probably talk and laugh too much with him when together. Wife is ice cold to me despite my trying to talk to her. She has declined every single one of my invitations.

Some of you folks are really full of yourselves. Not every set of women are going to be friends or even decent acquaintances. I have extended plenty of invitations that have not been accepted. I assume the other woman thinks we are not a good match, personality fit, schedules are off, etc. Never once did I think she was threatened by me and that she assumed I was after her husband.

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

So you think you are a 10? Interesting. Some posters above thought that the wives were so threatened they couldn't even accept social invitations. The truer explanation is that the wife finds you annoying and arrogant, not that she's threatened by you.

Maybe- it doesn’t really matter though why the wife shuts things down. The effect is the same- no more contact.

I am not a 10 and laugh to think anyone would think that of me. To me it is more of a sadness that men and women are not really allowed to be friends than anything else.

That’s always the excuse insecure women use “Oh you’re just annoying and I don’t like you.”

I mean, I can see that it’s annoying to a lot that there are more beautiful women than themselves out there. You just want to throw it back on the other woman and make it her fault for making your feel this way. Because let’s face it, being cold and rude to another woman, even if you don’t like her for whatever reason NOT related to her looks, isn’t a gracious way of acting and isn’t a good look for you 😀

I see this is news to you. Not everyone likes you. And it’s not because you are threatening beautiful. And really it’s okay. No one described anyone being rude just not overly friendly.

So again this woman is supposed to accept your social invitations when she doesn’t care for you?

Huh? I never asked these women to hang out. But when the mom rolls her eyes at me when I simply ask “Hey you’re Larlo’s mom, right? Nice to meet you,” that’s plain old insecurity. Nothing objectively annoying about the question. And by the way, insecurity is at the heart of rudeness and coldness, since you’d probably try to make that distinction next.

This is the downside of the roll up feature. If you scroll up in this same line of conversation you quoted, you will see someone talking about inviting another mom and getting rejected.

[Anonymous]

And that very well may be your experience. But when a woman who is a 5 on the attractiveness scale sees a woman that’s a 10 happily chatting with her husband, and the 5 jumps in to shut that all down and is rude to the 10x then it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there. To pretend otherwise and that women don’t have a proclivity toward passive aggression is nonsense.

A woman that's a 10 is super model status EVERYWHERE in the world... are you saying that you know a lot of super models, or that you're a super model, lol? 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕