no 2nd child because DH won’t support SAH?

[Anonymous]

Op, tons of couples have 2 or 3 kids while both working full time and they seem to do fine. However, YOU are not those people and you are entitled to have the family (or at least aim for) that you feel YOU can handle.

So, if you think if would be too stressful for you to manage/raise two children while working but you feel your husband will not be supportive of you becoming a SAHP, jut keep the one child you have and keep working. Don’t rock the boat with a second child…. It is a HUGE leap going from one to two….

[Anonymous]

OP, I think staying home with your chlid is a legitimate desire, and a husband who loves you should be sympathetic to that. It sounds like your finances are fine for staying at home.

That said, it sounds more like you just want to quit work and not necessarily like you have a strong desire to be home with your kids? Why didn't you want to stay home with your first child? I stay home because it's like a "calling" and I'd be devastated if I had to spend the day away from my kids. It's not about not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the epitome of the moral failings of the DCUM populous. OP is wealthy. She has generational wealth. She doesn't need to work - independent of her DH. Her DH also makes a lot of money. Her working would only bring status and more money on top of lots of money.

She wants to stay home and take care of her child(ren). Why? because she's a mother who loves her child and that is her parental duty/obligation. It is also in the best interest of the child. Also she shouldn't have to explain why she wants to take care of her kids full time. What a world it is where a mother is asked to defend that position. However, on DCUM, the shrill harpies are berating her because she wants to take advantage of her financial gifts and be with her kids FT. You guys need to check yourselves. You live in a moral vacuum.

If OP wants to do that, she should be able to. Why in this world do we prize work for the sake of work, status for the sake of status, over raising our kids? This is why there are so many poorly raised children who lack basic education, societal skills and know how. Because their parents look down on parenting. Because their parents are busy grabbing money and status just to hang out with the Joneses.

OP, you do you. Don't defend motherhood to these wolves. My guess is that they're all miserable in their jobs, the pressures of parenthood and can't stand that you have the ability to focus 100% on your kids. Take that opportunity. It's a gift.

You need to get our more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think staying home with your chlid is a legitimate desire, and a husband who loves you should be sympathetic to that. It sounds like your finances are fine for staying at home.

That said, it sounds more like you just want to quit work and not necessarily like you have a strong desire to be home with your kids? Why didn't you want to stay home with your first child? I stay home because it's like a "calling" and I'd be devastated if I had to spend the day away from my kids. It's not about not working.

“Devastated”? Lol what a drama queen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think staying home with your chlid is a legitimate desire, and a husband who loves you should be sympathetic to that. It sounds like your finances are fine for staying at home.

That said, it sounds more like you just want to quit work and not necessarily like you have a strong desire to be home with your kids? Why didn't you want to stay home with your first child? I stay home because it's like a "calling" and I'd be devastated if I had to spend the day away from my kids. It's not about not working.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks OP’s husband sounds like an a-hole?

I am an (Asian) woman who chooses to work even though we could live happily on my DH’s income. I enjoy having a job, and it’s a pretty flexible job so I feel like I have enough time with my kids. My husband supports me working, but he would equally support me SAH (I know because he’s asked me a few times if I would want to - obviously my life would be easier if I did!) I think it’s terrible for a spouse to make the other spouse work if they are financially set for college and retirement!

Of course, I’m sure my DH would respect me less if I became a stereotypical brain-dead SAHM, but if I continued to take an interest in the world, community, etc. I don’t think our relationship would suffer.

Nope. If my husband would come home and informed me that he'd like to quit his job and, surprise, I need to 100% support our family I'd kill him. And we have serious $ coming in from both sets of parents and I already have a fully paid, nice house on my name and we can live on my salary alone.

I (female) would personally be happy, assuming I was making enough for us to be comfortable. Who wouldn't want an easier life? Who wouldn't want to never do laundry or cook dinner since you're working anyway? Who wouldn't want to be able to stay out for work dinners or travel without any guilt? Who wouldn't want to know the person who loves your child most is always on call for them? It's a sweet set-up for both parents.

I’m with you, pp.
I have done dual working parents, been the sole breadwinner, and been a SAHM, and (as long as you have enough money) being the sole breadwinner with DH staying at home is by far the best deal. I would say that it was a similar amount of work to being a SAHM, but you get so much more respect. Plus, I knew that we needed the money. So, even if I did nothing else at work but do what I needed to do to earn my paycheck, I still felt like I was contributing.
Being a WOHP with a nanny or daycare taking care of your kids, never feeling like you have enough time at work or at home, turning down leadership roles, and walking home to the second shift at the end of the day... all kind of sucks. If you don’t need the money on top of it, it’s easy to wonder what it’s all for.