Why do some women choose to be a sidepiece?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

THOTS DONT CARE!!

Let the name calling begin. Sorry, I'm pages too late.

He can't cheat on me. We aren't exclusive. But he isn't having sex with his wife.

Rule number one of THOTing is that you are a THOT, so yes, you are correct.

[Anonymous]

Lots of women say they are okay with booty call/FWB. If the morality aspect of being a mistress doesn't bother them, why would it be a problem for them?

[Anonymous]

Please try to be polite and stop calling calling names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do some women choose to be a sidepiece?

Cause they want to. What do you care live your own damn life and let them live theirs.

[Anonymous]

No one wants to be with them in public / settle down with them / have kids with them. So they take others’ scraps and then brag about how good they have it, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

The official definition is fewer than 10 times a year. I would define it as a year or more without sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please try to be polite and stop calling calling names.

If you go through life not caring about other people's feelings, such as these OW have clearly stated they don't care about the wife or kids, they have stated it isn't their business to worry about their feelings, they just want D why should people care about their feelings in return.

Well if they don't care for other people's feelings no one really has to care about their feelings either. If the OW don't show respect for others, then we don't need to respect them.

You can't have it both ways. If you treat people like crap chances are people will treat you like crap in return.

No I can't take these women seriously and not because I am an insecure wife. It's because I could never hurt others like these women do. I would hate myself if I walked around so self absorbed that I knowingly did things to hurt others and cause pain to others.

We are all different, these women truly don't care who they hurt, they are proud of it. They can't see the benefit in being kind to strangers and that says a lot about them and their way of thinking. They will hurt a lot of people not just families throughout their lives. That is hard to respect.

For the poster who cheated and ended up with the man because he was in an abusive relationship I do think these stories are different. If a spouse is treated horribly and they meet someone loving and kind then I am often happy for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

The official definition is fewer than 10 times a year. I would define it as a year or more without sex.

There is an official definition? Who determines that: divorce courts, an association of gynecologists?

I know people have infrequent sex who are in very happy relationships while others are having regular sex and miserable.
DH and I average 1-2x a week and are happy, but the happiness isn’t caused by sex. I think the sex is caused by happiness.

[Anonymous]

Don't want a man to dominate me
Want a part time relationship so I can keep my independence
I would not stand his nagging
He is not neat and tidy enough

I don't want kids, he can have those with his wife

If we were full time I would have to play step mom. Don't want his kids in my house

Love my neices

He is of a different religion, I don't want religion in my life or to convert

He is slightly older than me. His wife can pick up his crap once he is no longer fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please try to be polite and stop calling calling names.

If you go through life not caring about other people's feelings, such as these OW have clearly stated they don't care about the wife or kids, they have stated it isn't their business to worry about their feelings, they just want D why should people care about their feelings in return.

Well if they don't care for other people's feelings no one really has to care about their feelings either. If the OW don't show respect for others, then we don't need to respect them.

You can't have it both ways. If you treat people like crap chances are people will treat you like crap in return.

No I can't take these women seriously and not because I am an insecure wife. It's because I could never hurt others like these women do. I would hate myself if I walked around so self absorbed that I knowingly did things to hurt others and cause pain to others.

We are all different, these women truly don't care who they hurt, they are proud of it. They can't see the benefit in being kind to strangers and that says a lot about them and their way of thinking. They will hurt a lot of people not just families throughout their lives. That is hard to respect.

For the poster who cheated and ended up with the man because he was in an abusive relationship I do think these stories are different. If a spouse is treated horribly and they meet someone loving and kind then I am often happy for them.

But nobody here had treated the individuals who are calling names badly. The question was asked, people answered, and then the name callers came out to insult-attack others. I think it is unnecessary. I don't see that anybody is trying to hurt others, nor do I see how they are hurting anybody on this board, so no insults or retaliation is necessary or justified.

[Anonymous]

He and I and my relationship to him as a "side piece":

I am 49; he is 46. We dated in our early twenties; the sex was hot and incredible. We were crazy for each other even though we drove each other nuts. I went off to grad school and life went on. He married and she became pregnant with twins. Within three years the marriage was sexless. I had moved back to DC (he never left), and yes, I became his "side piece" (still mind blowing sex) with his wife agreeing he could step out. I was busy with my career and frankly he was easy to be with and didn't require much from me. He was a FWB and it felt cozy and familiar to be with him. I met another man and married. I was faithful during our marriage. He was killed in a car crash six years after we married. FWB came back to me and he was a comfort. By then, he was divorced. We married two years later. I have no regrets being a "side piece." It kind of seemed fated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

The official definition is fewer than 10 times a year. I would define it as a year or more without sex.

There is an official definition? Who determines that: divorce courts, an association of gynecologists?

I know people have infrequent sex who are in very happy relationships while others are having regular sex and miserable.
DH and I average 1-2x a week and are happy, but the happiness isn’t caused by sex. I think the sex is caused by happiness.

That is the definition of psychologists. Infrequent sex is not sexless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He and I and my relationship to him as a "side piece":

I am 49; he is 46. We dated in our early twenties; the sex was hot and incredible. We were crazy for each other even though we drove each other nuts. I went off to grad school and life went on. He married and she became pregnant with twins. Within three years the marriage was sexless. I had moved back to DC (he never left), and yes, I became his "side piece" (still mind blowing sex) with his wife agreeing he could step out. I was busy with my career and frankly he was easy to be with and didn't require much from me. He was a FWB and it felt cozy and familiar to be with him. I met another man and married. I was faithful during our marriage. He was killed in a car crash six years after we married. FWB came back to me and he was a comfort. By then, he was divorced. We married two years later. I have no regrets being a "side piece." It kind of seemed fated.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

The official definition is fewer than 10 times a year. I would define it as a year or more without sex.

There is an official definition? Who determines that: divorce courts, an association of gynecologists?

I know people have infrequent sex who are in very happy relationships while others are having regular sex and miserable.
DH and I average 1-2x a week and are happy, but the happiness isn’t caused by sex. I think the sex is caused by happiness.

That is the definition of psychologists. Infrequent sex is not sexless.

Fewer than 10x per year. Close enough to sexless for me. Can't imagine what the times it happens actually consist of if that's all you want.

[Anonymous]

Because trashy people do trashy things