How are kids supposed to address professors? Dr., Professor, first name? Daughter got rude reaction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So there aren't any schools where most/many faculty prefer to be called by their first names? You think OP's DD was just wrong about that?

No, that’s not what we are saying. We are saying you err on the side of formal-Dr, professor, Mr or Mrs until they specifically tell you otherwise. And you do it with every professor and advisor, etc. I really don’t understand why this is so difficult to understand.

Um.. because the OP's DD said most of the faculty wanted to be called by their first names?

You really are struggling with seeing the full picture here.

DD said this. 14 pages of posters are confirming that DD is wrong, and offering speculation about how DD might have arrived at this erroneous conclusion. DD needs to become more aware of social and professional boundaries and protocol. This will probably involve realizing that Mom is not a good guide in this.

I think they are both clueless and at least 1 (or more) poster(s) here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is the daughter was pulled aside by the professor rather than being corrected (and embarrassed) in front of the entire class.

Perhaps she was called in to advisor's office so they could have a more in depth conversation and understanding rather than an email which may have been interpreted MORE harshly without any ability to hear tone.

Rather than being obnoxious jerks, these may be people trying to help the daughter navigate life.

Your biases and motives are obvious. These two outliers could very well be petty obnoxious cat people on the hunt for slights and chances to power-trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Professor [Last Name]"

How is this hard? lol

Nothing hard about it. It's just unnecessarily formal and nobody can explain why an adult calling another by their first name is "rude" (because it's not, unless you're a nutjob egomaniac).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Professor [Last Name]"

How is this hard? lol

Nothing hard about it. It's just unnecessarily formal and nobody can explain why an adult calling another by their first name is "rude" (because it's not, unless you're a nutjob egomaniac).

ummm ... have you ever been to college? did your kids call all their teachers by their first names? do you call your doctor by their first name?

but anyway, go ahead and insist on calling your professor by their first name. but you can't complain when you (or your kid) get dressed-down for it and refused opportinities and recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Professor [Last Name]"

How is this hard? lol

Nothing hard about it. It's just unnecessarily formal and nobody can explain why an adult calling another by their first name is "rude" (because it's not, unless you're a nutjob egomaniac).

Many people have explained this - because they are not peers. While technically an 18 year old is a legal adult, as the title of this thread itself suggests, many, including the OP, actually consider them kids. But go ahead and have this view. Go ahead and encourage your child to use first names and informality. Just don't be surprised when it offends some.

[Anonymous]

I don't even call my kids' teachers by their first names and I am way older than them. It teaches my kids respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is the daughter was pulled aside by the professor rather than being corrected (and embarrassed) in front of the entire class.

Perhaps she was called in to advisor's office so they could have a more in depth conversation and understanding rather than an email which may have been interpreted MORE harshly without any ability to hear tone.

Rather than being obnoxious jerks, these may be people trying to help the daughter navigate life.

Your biases and motives are obvious. These two outliers could very well be petty obnoxious cat people on the hunt for slights and chances to power-trip.

Not sure what you think my biases and motives are. I'm just a parent of college aged kids. I was offering an alternative theory for how these people behaved but since none of us witnessed these events and are hearing about them third hand, it is difficult to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Professor [Last Name]"

How is this hard? lol

Nothing hard about it. It's just unnecessarily formal and nobody can explain why an adult calling another by their first name is "rude" (because it's not, unless you're a nutjob egomaniac).

Many people have explained this - because they are not peers. While technically an 18 year old is a legal adult, as the title of this thread itself suggests, many, including the OP, actually consider them kids. But go ahead and have this view. Go ahead and encourage your child to use first names and informality. Just don't be surprised when it offends some.

OP's daughter thought it was o.k., she said, based on what some of the faculty had told her. O.K. A couple of them set her straight. I doubt she'll make that mistake again. Funny the OP hasn't come back to defend why she thought the faculty member and advisor were "rude."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is the daughter was pulled aside by the professor rather than being corrected (and embarrassed) in front of the entire class.

Perhaps she was called in to advisor's office so they could have a more in depth conversation and understanding rather than an email which may have been interpreted MORE harshly without any ability to hear tone.

Rather than being obnoxious jerks, these may be people trying to help the daughter navigate life.

Your biases and motives are obvious. These two outliers could very well be petty obnoxious cat people on the hunt for slights and chances to power-trip.

Not sure what you think my biases and motives are. I'm just a parent of college aged kids. I was offering an alternative theory for how these people behaved but since none of us witnessed these events and are hearing about them third hand, it is difficult to know.

Bingo. I took the OP's DD at her word that most wanted to be addressed this way, but apparently many here believe the DD's reportage was inaccurate.

[Anonymous]

OP, next time you get pulled over make sure you call the cop by his first name. And the judge when you go to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, next time you get pulled over make sure you call the cop by his first name. And the judge when you go to court.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, next time you get pulled over make sure you call the cop by his first name. And the judge when you go to court.

Cops are "officer" and judges are "your honor." We all know that. Pretty weak analogies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former professor, I can tell you why it annoys me when students called me by my first name. The same students invariably call my husband “Professor.” It was just another way women are given less respect than their male peers.

Another female Professor here and this is one reason I insist on formality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, next time you get pulled over make sure you call the cop by his first name. And the judge when you go to court.

Cops are "officer" and judges are "your honor." We all know that. Pretty weak analogies.

Well, until this thread, I thought we all know that university professors are called Dr. or Professor, and that you don't assume first name familiarity until uninvited to do so. Who knows how far OP and her DD's social skills/boundary perception issues extend? They probably think that cops are supported by their tax dollars, so they are paying customers who can address the cops however they like.

The analogy is apt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former professor, I can tell you why it annoys me when students called me by my first name. The same students invariably call my husband “Professor.” It was just another way women are given less respect than their male peers.

Another female Professor here and this is one reason I insist on formality

After you insisted did any of the students go ahead and call you by your first name anyway? (That would be pretty rude if they did).