How are kids supposed to address professors? Dr., Professor, first name? Daughter got rude reaction

[Anonymous]

Daughter claims basically all of her professors and faculty prefer first name basis. And that same majority are casual about emails, i.e. just say what you have to say, no need for the formal business format each email "Dear Dr. so and so, ... blah blah ... Best, kiddo."

But she casually called one professor by their first name and was sort of pulled to the side and chastised face to face. She did the same in an email response to an advisor and the advisor literally told her to meet her in the office later in the week. At the office she told her she needs to conduct herself with more professionalism. Calm down, Ms. Advisor.

Are the two outliers just obnoxious jerks or do they have a point?

[Anonymous]

Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

[Anonymous]

She should call them by a title unless they specifically ask her not to. Emails should be moderately professional, at least polite. I prefer a greeting and signoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

100% this. You always address them as professor or dr unless/until told otherwise. Your daughter was rude.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is now in the world of academia. This is how academia works: You err on the side of respect until you are invited into a more informal relationship.

Don't like it? You don't have to stay in academia.

I have a master's degree and have worked as an administrative staff member at four universities and a law school. This is how academia is. Now you know, too.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is NOT a peer to the professors or other university staff. She is not a personal friend. She is not on the same level.

Those people did your daughter a favor by pointing out her mistake so that she doesn't make the same mistake in a situation that could have worse consequences (i.e. a job interview or other professional setting.).

The good news is that your daughter really is getting an education in how to comport herself! Yay for her college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter claims basically all of her professors and faculty prefer first name basis. And that same majority are casual about emails, i.e. just say what you have to say, no need for the formal business format each email "Dear Dr. so and so, ... blah blah ... Best, kiddo."

But she casually called one professor by their first name and was sort of pulled to the side and chastised face to face. She did the same in an email response to an advisor and the advisor literally told her to meet her in the office later in the week. At the office she told her she needs to conduct herself with more professionalism. Calm down, Ms. Advisor.

Are the two outliers just obnoxious jerks or do they have a point?

Wonder where your child learned about professionalism and manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is now in the world of academia. This is how academia works: You err on the side of respect until you are invited into a more informal relationship.

Don't like it? You don't have to stay in academia.

I have a master's degree and have worked as an administrative staff member at four universities and a law school. This is how academia is. Now you know, too.

What exactly is disrespectful about using someone's first name?

[Anonymous]

The reaction was not "rude," it was informative. They did her a favor, addressing this early on. Better she learn now rather than risk missing out on opportunities later.

I've worked for a university and for the military. The university folks care about titles and respect maybe slightly less than the military.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is now in the world of academia. This is how academia works: You err on the side of respect until you are invited into a more informal relationship.

Don't like it? You don't have to stay in academia.

I have a master's degree and have worked as an administrative staff member at four universities and a law school. This is how academia is. Now you know, too.

What exactly is disrespectful about using someone's first name?

It assumes a peer relationship that hasn't been earned, and a level of informality that has not been invited.

[Anonymous]

I once heard a Prof tell off a student who called her something other than Dr. Soandso. She said she had eaten too many ramen noodles and had too many late nights working to not be called Dr. Soandso. It is all about respect. She was a great Prof and I truly respected her and more after over hearing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter claims basically all of her professors and faculty prefer first name basis. And that same majority are casual about emails, i.e. just say what you have to say, no need for the formal business format each email "Dear Dr. so and so, ... blah blah ... Best, kiddo."

But she casually called one professor by their first name and was sort of pulled to the side and chastised face to face. She did the same in an email response to an advisor and the advisor literally told her to meet her in the office later in the week. At the office she told her she needs to conduct herself with more professionalism. Calm down, Ms. Advisor.

Are the two outliers just obnoxious jerks or do they have a point?

Wonder where your child learned about professionalism and manners

Because unfulfilled power-tripping hacks never find themselves trapped in some adjunct faculty or advisor role at a university.

[Anonymous]

I went to Princeton years ago. The convention was that students addressed professors as Mr. or Ms. and the professor addressed students as Mr. or Ms.

Equality among scholars and all that.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, actually, OP, after reading your replies? It's sink or swim, and you and your daughter deserve to sink. No more advice for either of you! Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton years ago. The convention was that students addressed professors as Mr. or Ms. and the professor addressed students as Mr. or Ms.

Equality among scholars and all that.

My SLAC was the same way, but everyone used first names. Then again, all of my professors were cool and confident scholars. In my view, academics demanding to be called doctor or professor highlights some mental imbalance and/or professional insecurity.