Would you be upset if your kid was served mocktails & got a makeover at a party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make up and temporary hair dye? No biggie.

Mocktails at a 13 year old's party? Were they mixed in shakers and served in cocktail glasses? That would definitely bother me. Frozen virgin pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris served in a plastic cup with a fun straw similar to a starbucks frappachino or a smoothie at a restaurant? Not a big deal.

I am generally conservative but am fine with adult drinking, host parties with alcohol and am not anti fun drinks for kids.

Virgin frozen margaritas and pina coladas and a drink the bday girl created. All were frozen and served in plastic glasses (like plastic margarita and plastic colada glasses).

I think the mocktails are really what angered me most. I just see it as glamorizing drinking which I don’t believe in. There’s alcoholism on my side of the family so we’ve always discussed alcohol with them and the seriousness of it. Most of this evening was spent talking about drinking and alcohol because she’s just absolutely enthralled with the mocktails.

LOL! I grew up Mormon. We were not even allowed to drink COKE or anything with caffeine. We definitely were not allowed to drink Mocktails, nor go to sleepovers at non-Mormon family homes.

Despite growing up mocktail free and caffeine free, this did not prevent my brother from becoming a raging alcoholic and dying of cirrhosis of the liver at age 35. Do you know how hard you have to work to die of cirrhosis of the liver at age 35? That is some serious work he had to put into being drunk.

I do think you are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went to a party with an Indian friend and came home with henna all over her arms. I was not pleased that we had something that lasted weeks without checking with us first.

How old was your daughter when this happened?

And why on earth would it bother you? Afraid of what people would think? Why do they need to check with you when it's completely safe, does your daughter have no autonomy?

you rreally need to ask this question??? I would be livid as I would be livid if she came home from a party where they had their hair cut or got their ears or nose pierced. What if the child was participating in a wedding or getting a class picture? No, t hi is is not a.decision another parent or my child can make.without running or by me, no matter how safe it is. would you be good with your child coming home with fake tattoos all over them, or blue hair the day before a funeral? when I highlighted my hair, I ran it by my husband not because I need his permission but so he is at least aware of what I'm doing. it is common courtesy.

[Anonymous]

would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

If your 13 year old is dumb enough to think it’s a margarita you’ve got bigger problend.

[Anonymous]

Problems*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would pose this question to those who responded, what if they have faux cigarettes or cigars? I could care less about the make up stuff

https://www.partycity.com/fake-cigarettes-6ct-175731.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vKQno_v2wIVwiSGCh3CrwITEAkYAyABEgL4VfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

still not a big deal?

I'll bite. It's still not a big deal to me. If my kids are going to smoke, it's not going to be because of some fake/joke cigarettes. All my kids are in MS/HS so this is the time they'd likely start experimenting - and I guarantee you that my family history of substance abuse is far more tragic and extensive than OP's. The best way to prevent your kids from going down the wrong path is not by imposing your own fears/insecurities on them but by having multiple conversations with them that include facts. At some point, they're going to make their own decisions about what they put in their bodies, what they do with their hair and who they have sex with. All you can do is hope they make better choices based on knowledge, not emotion.

A 12/13 year old is old enough to have learned about the dangers of smoking, drugs and alcohol in school. If a pack of gag cigarettes is a slippery slope to you, you need some serious help. Come back and offer your opinions when you have teenagers and have already navigated these waters.

a 12/13 year old does not have the mental capacity to understand the real implications of things. Clearly as a person who has so much tragedy and according to you more than someone who you have no idea about (The OP) although i agree on the education and conversations, nothing will stop the curiosity that you think a 12/13 year old can solve on their own. Let me guess, you are going to train your kids to drink properly too right?

Now I'm sure don't have a 12/13 yo . I have no idea what the bolded means. But, again, come back when you actually have teenagers and some experience with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

If your 13 year old is dumb enough to think it’s a margarita you’ve got bigger problend.

+1 and make sure your kid hasn't seen any movies/articles/books where drinking is portrayed.

[Anonymous]

We used to have sparkling cider on holidays in champagne flutes and my parents called it “kid champagne.” LOL. I swear we all turned out fine and none are big drinkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd hate both - the makeover and the mocktails. Totally inappropriate to have mocktails. That's weird. Just make them a special fun party smoothie and serve it but don't connect it to alcohol. I hate makeup and all that crap for girls and the emphasis on their looks, so I don't like that either. But - I could get over it if my daughter had a good time. The mocktails though - I'd be annoyed.

So if they served a coconut-flavored smoothie but didn't call it a "mocktail" you'd be fine with it? Because that's basically what a virgin daiquiri is. People are all up in arms about mocktails being inappropriate for kids, but I kind of thought that was the point--they are for people who can't/don't drink alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if those martini glasses should have a warning label on them....something like, 'not intended for use by children' since it's so glamorous and increases the risk of childrent drinking alcohol and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went to a party with an Indian friend and came home with henna all over her arms. I was not pleased that we had something that lasted weeks without checking with us first.

How old was your daughter when this happened?

And why on earth would it bother you? Afraid of what people would think? Why do they need to check with you when it's completely safe, does your daughter have no autonomy?

She was 13 and no one mentioned that it would last weeks when they did it. It was like "Hey we're gonna do henna now" It isn't our culture so she had no way of knowing that at the time. It wasn't unsafe but I wasn't jazzed, nor was she about walking around with this stuff on her arms for a couple of weeks. I wouldn't ever do something that would last beyond the day to someone else's child. You don't know if they are taking family pictures or have a wedding or another special event where they might not enjoy having their child's image altered in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went to a party with an Indian friend and came home with henna all over her arms. I was not pleased that we had something that lasted weeks without checking with us first.

How old was your daughter when this happened?

And why on earth would it bother you? Afraid of what people would think? Why do they need to check with you when it's completely safe, does your daughter have no autonomy?

you rreally need to ask this question??? I would be livid as I would be livid if she came home from a party where they had their hair cut or got their ears or nose pierced. What if the child was participating in a wedding or getting a class picture? No, t hi is is not a.decision another parent or my child can make.without running or by me, no matter how safe it is. would you be good with your child coming home with fake tattoos all over them, or blue hair the day before a funeral? when I highlighted my hair, I ran it by my husband not because I need his permission but so he is at least aware of what I'm doing. it is common courtesy.

My daughter has enough common sense to figure it out so I'd be totally fine. She'd know the difference between something permanent and temporary and whether anything was coming up. As far as pictures go, you are capturing that moment in time - who that kid was at that particular moment. No one's wedding will be ruined because your kid had henna on her hands in the picture. Some of the most interesting pictures of my kids are not the boring ones with pristine clothes and fake smiles, but when there was something was different or even off.

My husband would look at me like I had three heads if I told him I'm highlighting my hair. He'd wonder why I was telling him.

Different strokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went to a party with an Indian friend and came home with henna all over her arms. I was not pleased that we had something that lasted weeks without checking with us first.

How old was your daughter when this happened?

And why on earth would it bother you? Afraid of what people would think? Why do they need to check with you when it's completely safe, does your daughter have no autonomy?

you rreally need to ask this question??? I would be livid as I would be livid if she came home from a party where they had their hair cut or got their ears or nose pierced. What if the child was participating in a wedding or getting a class picture? No, t hi is is not a.decision another parent or my child can make.without running or by me, no matter how safe it is. would you be good with your child coming home with fake tattoos all over them, or blue hair the day before a funeral? when I highlighted my hair, I ran it by my husband not because I need his permission but so he is at least aware of what I'm doing. it is common courtesy.

My daughter has enough common sense to figure it out so I'd be totally fine. She'd know the difference between something permanent and temporary and whether anything was coming up. As far as pictures go, you are capturing that moment in time - who that kid was at that particular moment. No one's wedding will be ruined because your kid had henna on her hands in the picture. Some of the most interesting pictures of my kids are not the boring ones with pristine clothes and fake smiles, but when there was something was different or even off.

My husband would look at me like I had three heads if I told him I'm highlighting my hair. He'd wonder why I was telling him.

Different strokes.

That's great that you wouldn't be bothered but maybe someone else would like just once nice family photo where everyone looks nice. Is that so hard to imagine? Being courteous is thinking about what others might want not what you might want. That's how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter has enough common sense to figure it out so I'd be totally fine. She'd know the difference between something permanent and temporary and whether anything was coming up. As far as pictures go, you are capturing that moment in time - who that kid was at that particular moment. No one's wedding will be ruined because your kid had henna on her hands in the picture. Some of the most interesting pictures of my kids are not the boring ones with pristine clothes and fake smiles, but when there was something was different or even off.

My husband would look at me like I had three heads if I told him I'm highlighting my hair. He'd wonder why I was telling him.

Different strokes.

Your daughter has enough common sense to know how something she's never been exposed to before would work and how long it would last? I'm Indian-American (and posted above), and I'm quite surprised that your DD would automatically know that henna can last for weeks. It's really not obvious at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That's great that you wouldn't be bothered but maybe someone else would like just once nice family photo where everyone looks nice. Is that so hard to imagine? Being courteous is thinking about what others might want not what you might want. That's how it works.

DP. And now we're back to OP's issue of control.