Men, be honest, if your wife was fat

[Anonymous]

The all-important detail that's been lost on this thread is... what size were you when you starting dating/got married?

If the answer is Size 14, well then your H most likely likes heavier women, and there is no issue with it.


If the answer is Size 4, well THIS is a big problem, as most men are not attracted to the bigger sizes, and clearly your's prefers a thinner woman (otherwise he would not have dated you when you were thin).

So the thread title should really be:
"Men, be honest, if your previously thin wife got fat"
But this is such a trivial question it is hardly worth asking, because most men would lose attraction.

[Anonymous]

Wife of 10 years size has fluctuated over the years (me too). Was smallest about size 10 after first kid 5 years ago. Right now she's a 14. She has long legs and a nice butt and she's smoking hot to me!

[Anonymous]

Sorry to all the fatties. There are numerous and consistent studies that show men want women with a BMI in the lower end of the "normal" range (20-25). Women that are overweight (BMI of 25-30) and obese (BMI 30+) just need to adjust their diets and lay off the cheese/fast food/snacks.
-- Studies: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3213417/Why-men-thinner-women-attractive-Scientists-say-evolutionary-fitness-makes-slimmer-females-appealing.html
-- BMI Calculator: https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a better photo

You need to stop with the pictures. This is embarrassing. The thread was not about YOU and you've already succeeded in getting the middle aged sexless marriage dads to slobber over you. Come on now. Go back to Tinder with this.

I like what I see, but I'm afraid I can't make any truly valid judgments without a naked pic.

Signed,

Middle Aged Sexless Marriage Dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us look better with more weight. 5'2 and 138 lbs. ideal for me is 132-135. At 120, people thought I had an eating disorder or an obsession with being skinny. I remember a classmate and I were the same size/shape years ago and we were both shocked to find that I was 15 lbs heavier. At my current weight, I'm overweight per my BMI, yet have a six pack, love handles, and I'm toned. My only problem areas are my arms which aren't as tight as they used to be.

A size 14 on someone 5'7 could be Marilyn Monroe.

Uh, no. Marilyn Monroe is a modern day 4-6.

[Anonymous]

No thigh gap.

[Anonymous]

Size 14 is not fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'8'', wear size 8 at 160 pounds, and I disgust myself.

If I was a size 14, I would think any attraction to me likely comes from a very niche audience.

Sounds like you have low self esteem. If you have digits for yourself, how is that going to attract others regardless of size? Confidence goes a LONG way. I'd rather date or marry a confident with extra weight that a small sized women who loathes herself. In regards to size I think you'd be surprised.

Sometimes low self esteem is just common sense. I don't delude myself that I'm in good shape, at least. Masking it with "confidence" is being deliberately blind. I know how I look when I'm in a better shape, and how much I SHOULD weigh. Confidence should not be used to mask fat.

There is no such thing as attraction regardless of size. Smaller size gets more attraction. Stop making things up to pretend it isn't so.

You are perpetuating a problem we have today in our culture. Confidence does not mean you should be masking anything. It does mean loving yourself and accepting who you are (but you already knew that). Self esteem absolutely does not equal common sense or eating disorders would not exist. Your post discounting others options does not make it true. Some people have low self esteem no matter how thin they are. Haven't you ever heard of anorexia?!

You and I look at this differently. I don't love my physical self when I'm 20 pounds over my preferred weight, and I don't want to accept it, I want to lose it. I don't think overweight women should be encouraged to "accept" their bodies the way they are. Your position is basically to shield someone from the knowledge that something is wrong with their bodies because it might make them feel bad. The self esteem I meant has nothing to do with your human or personal worth; it means that when you're 20 pounds heavier than you ought to be, that you feel bad about it. That's normal. You SHOULD feel bad about it. You should strive to change that, not strive to normalize that in your head.

PP, +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No thigh gap.

I have to admit I did not know much about Marilyn Monroe. The more I learn abou her, the more I appreciate about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Size 14 is not fat.

Yes it is...

[Anonymous]

I'm a female, size 12-14, 5'7" and I have some stomach rolls (baby pouch area) I have some fat on my butt and upper/inner thighs, my arms aren't as toned as I'd like, but I don't outwardly look FAT.
I could lose 15 pounds. If someone were 5' tall and a size 14, then yes that is fat. But taller women spread it out differently and don't look fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be very disappointed. For many reasons I believe we have an obligation to each other to be healthy. My DW and I are in decent shape (both carry a few extra pounds) and we are still physically attracted to one another after 30 years. If either of us got fat the other would complain.

If the weight came as a result of illness, including mental illness like depression (which can cause some people to gain weight)--would you complain?
If the weight were the result of meds (weight gain unconnected to excess eating is a side effect of some meds)--would you complain?

I'm betting you'll say, "Oh, of course not! Those things would be out of her control!" But I do wonder how many of the "I will lose all attraction to DW/DH if she/he gains weight" posters above have never considered the possibility of supporting their spouses if the gain is related to illness or meds. The shallowness of some responses here makes me think that some posters would talk up how supportive they'd be, but in their minds they'd set a deadline by which the sick spouse had better lose the weight or else there's a green light for finding sex elsewhere. And no, that did not happen to me--but it did happen to a relative whose spouse seemed supportive but who cheated and blamed it on weight gain that resulted from much needed meds.

This whole thread is so lacking in any idea that attraction can be based in something other than looks.

[Anonymous]

Does she have thigh gap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us look better with more weight. 5'2 and 138 lbs. ideal for me is 132-135. At 120, people thought I had an eating disorder or an obsession with being skinny. I remember a classmate and I were the same size/shape years ago and we were both shocked to find that I was 15 lbs heavier. At my current weight, I'm overweight per my BMI, yet have a six pack, love handles, and I'm toned. My only problem areas are my arms which aren't as tight as they used to be.

A size 14 on someone 5'7 could be Marilyn Monroe.

Uh, no. Marilyn Monroe is a modern day 4-6.

Not a chance in hell she was a 4-6.

She was at least a 10, more like a 12 in today's sizes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us look better with more weight. 5'2 and 138 lbs. ideal for me is 132-135. At 120, people thought I had an eating disorder or an obsession with being skinny. I remember a classmate and I were the same size/shape years ago and we were both shocked to find that I was 15 lbs heavier. At my current weight, I'm overweight per my BMI, yet have a six pack, love handles, and I'm toned. My only problem areas are my arms which aren't as tight as they used to be.

A size 14 on someone 5'7 could be Marilyn Monroe.

Uh, no. Marilyn Monroe is a modern day 4-6.

Not a chance in hell she was a 4-6.

She was at least a 10, more like a 12 in today's sizes

Erroneous. Maybe for a very brief period of her life.

http://themarilynmonroecollection.com/marilyn-monroe-true-size/